Fantasy of Ed
by 42 Zombies
Summary: When the Cul de Sac kids are sucked into a bizzare fantasy world, it seems danger is everywhere. A council of dark-magic users threatens noth of their worlds. It seems both of these world's fates may lie in the hands of Ed, Edd, Eddy... and Kevin?
1. Chapter 1

**Missing**

_Author's Notes: I do not own Ed, Ed, and Eddy. I do own the fantasy world this story takes place in. By the way, this story does not take place in my PsychoEd series of fics. It's just an idea I came up with one night. Also by the way, this story takes place four years after the series, meaning the Ed's are sixteen. Also-Also by the way, this first chapter might be pretty short. Also Times free by the way, this story will have some sexual stuff. So, you know… reader beware. There's gonna be an Ogre._

* * *

In this world, there exists an infinite amount of stories and fables. These tales of wonder contain creatures and sights that would boggle the mind if they were ever seen in real life. However, it is impossible for creatures such as the unicorn or centaur to exist…

* * *

"An F?" Double D asked in shock as the 10th-Grade English teacher passed back graded papers. A short-story Double D had written was lying on his desk, the big, red 'F' taunting him.

"I'm sorry, Edd, but your story just completely lacked any real… story." The teacher explained, stopping by Double D's desk. "It was really just an essay with quotation marks. Creative writing's not your thing."

Double D picked up the short-story and stared at it in an unbelieving shock.

* * *

"I get F's all the time." Eddy said to his friend. "You don't see me complaining."

"Eddy, this is different." Double D said to his friend as the two walked down the crowded hallway of Peach-Creek Elementary/Jr./High. "My grades are of the utmost importance to me, you understand. That F has besmirched my grade forever and—."

"Yeah, shut up." Eddy demanded. "Look, if you really wanna bone up on English why don't you just go to the school library and read?"

Double D stopped. He grabbed his friend and made him stop as well. "Eddy, that's brilliant!" He complimented. "I'm going to go to the library right now!"

Double D let go of his vertically-challenged friend and ran off towards the school library. Eddy scoffed at his friend as he ran off, though once he turned around he decided to follow suit.

The Kanker sisters were heading his way. Beads of terror ran down Eddy's brow as the three siblings approached. Just because there were dozens of people around didn't mean they wouldn't try anything. There was only one hope:

The library. As Eddy turned and started running, he found himself remembering something he had been told by the compulsive liar who lived in the boy's restroom: the Kankers were allergic to books.

Once he entered the library and the Kankers followed him in, he found the information wasn't well-founded.

"Hey, look girls." Lee said as the Kankers approached Eddy. "It looks like Little Eddy's all tired." "Yeah." Marie agreed with a laugh. "Let's take him down to the boiler room so we can—."

"FOOD FIGHT!"

Eddy almost cried with joy at the familiar, goofy voice. Ed, the lovable oath, had apparently been sitting at a table, thinking he was in the cafeteria. Halfway through _Moby Dick_, he tossed the book at Lee, bruising her. Eddy quickly ran to Ed.

Picking up more books Ed would have eaten anyways, he began randomly tossing the books in every direction. The librarian was in the teacher's lounge, so there were only students around to suffer. Coincidently, they were all the Peach Creek kids.

"Ed! You're in trouble!" "My hair!" "In Rolf's homeland, the throwing of books is an ancestral sign of war!" "YOU HIT PLANK!" Plank was silent.

Kevin snuck up behind Ed and knocked all of his books away. Ed, who had been smiling happily at his harmless fun, was confused by this. "What the hell's wrong with you, dork?!" Kevin yelled. Ed whimpered sadly.

"Ed-Boy!" Rolf said, walking up to Eddy. "Why do you allow your tall but dopey friend to throw the books of words?" "Hey, if it saves me from the Kankers, I'm fine with it." Eddy answered.

Double D, who had been looking through a row of ridiculously thick books, walked over to Eddy and Ed. "Eddy, don't encourage Ed's behavior." Double D insisted. "Even if he did save you from the Kankers."

Eddy picked up a black book from the table Ed was sitting at. "What, are you going to throw that too?" Kevin asked angrily.

Eddy opened the book randomly to the middle. He noticed that the book had no words or pictures. What was this even doing in the library?

"What's that book?" Nazz asked curiously, though everyone else seemed fed-up with the Ed's behavior. "It seems blank." Double D observed as he stepped closer to the book. His shadow was cast on the book's blank pages. "How strange…"

The children all gathered around the book, their shadows all somehow being cast on its black pages. The Kankers, however, weren't anywhere near the book; what did they care about a stupid word-thing?

"Maybe it's a diary." Jimmy guessed.

"No, Jimmy, I don't think so." Double D disagreed. "The library wouldn't keep a diary with the other books." Double D picked it up and flipped through the pages. They were all blank. "This is so strange…"

"I don't see why we're all even standing around it." Kevin said. "I don't even read that much."

"Reading is for those whose eyes enjoy words!" Rolf said. Nobody was sure if we was agreeing or arguing.

"_**Darkness and shadows, unleash and capture.**_"

"Shut up, Ed." Eddy ordered. "I didn't say nothing, mommy." Ed said stupidly. Everyone looked at each other in confusion, unsure of who had just said that. They looked down at the book in shock to see a strange poem had appeared:

_**Darkness and shadows, unleash and capture**_

_**Blood of the innocent, drips like fine wine**_

_**Man becomes beast beneath the full moon**_

_**The flames of the volcanoes heat our rage**_

_**The water of the seas drowns our foes**_

_**Poison spreads throughout their veins**_

_**The wings of birds carry the night**_

_**And hellfire brings red stars**_

_**As the barbaric beasts of the mountains**_

_**And the twisted monstrosities of chaos**_

_**Ride with the Night Elves into the villages**_

_**Where trees grow from fallen foes**_

_**And ice covers the ground**_

_**The Council of 13 Claims Victory**_

"What the hell does that mean?" Eddy asked in confusion. "Who're the Council of 13?"

As soon as he said those three words, the letters of the poem slowly melted together into a black hole. The children all stepped back, startled, as a strange wind began to swirl around the library.

Shadows of men flew from the hole, frightening everyone. Double D, Eddy, Ed, and Kevin were knocked back by a wind and landed on top of each other. The shadows flew around the room while the wind carried books around the library.

One of the shadows grabbed Jimmy and, almost immediately, they both vanished. "Jimmy!" Sarah said in horror. As soon as she said this, a shadow grabbed her, whisking her off. One by one, the shadows grabbed everyone and took them away, until only Ed, Edd, and Eddy… and Kevin were left.

"What the hell's going on, dorks?!" Kevin asked. Despite the terror, he seemed unable to call the Ed's by their names.

"I have no idea!" Double D yelled over the winds. Suddenly, one of the shadows flew towards the pile of boys.

Everything went black.

* * *

Author's Notes: _Sorry if this first chapter kinda sucked. I promise it'll get better. Anyways, read and review._

Next Time: Da Hell?!


	2. Da Hell?

**Da Hell?!**

_Author's Notes: In this chapter, a whole bunch of things happen and things actually begin to get good. Also, I will make it funny. Yay._

* * *

Double D opened his eyes and felt as if he had just had his brains smashed out by a hangover. He wasn't quite sure where he was, but the sky seemed to be made of wood and the ground he was lying on was squishy and smelled like dung.

Double D jumped up in a terrified realization, looking around at the horse's stable he had been lying in. He turned around and stared in disgust at the pile of horse dung he had been sleeping in. He almost vomited at the sight of his body's impression.

"Yoo-hoo! What the Pits are you doing in this stable, apprentice?"

At first, Double D assumed the voice as a female. He turned around to see a man with large, hoop earring in a bright-purple cloak standing in front of the open entrance to the stable. The man had curly, black hair. He carried in his hand a wooden staff.

"I'm very sorry for sleeping in your stable, good sir." Double D apologized in great confusion. "You see, I was in the library and—."

"Say no more, I've slept in the stable, myself." The man interrupted. His voice was very camp and with a lisp. Just like what you'd think a gay person—

Double D suddenly felt very awkward.

"Look, as fabulous as it is to sleep in a stable, you need to get to class." The man ordered. He walked over to Double D and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. He began leading him out of the stable. "But first, let's get you out of this weird little tunic and into your apprentice's robes. This isn't the Thieves' Guild, for Deigin's sake!"

As Double D and the man he hoped wasn't a gay pedophile stepped out of the stable, Double D was startled at what he saw. The stable was in an alley on the side of a large, palace-like, stone building.

The man led Double D out of the alley and into the dirt street in front of the mansion. Double D saw no cars, bikes, or any real kind of vehicles. The men and women who were walking up and down the street all wore simple, medieval-style clothing.

"Honestly, I can understand sleeping in the stable, but in a pile of dung?" The man said to himself as he turned Double D towards the palace and up its large, marvel steps to a pair of giant, red doors. Strange symbols covered the doors and Double D could see no handles.

The man let go of Double D and held his wooden staff against the doors. "EFOD IF!"

The doors suddenly opened up, much to Double D's surprise. "That's the first test a mage has to pass; getting the doors to open." The man explained as he led Double D into a large, white room. There were portraits of men and women in different-colored robes on the left and right-side wall.

A stairway led up to the second story, which Double D could see from where he was standing. Two doors stood closed right next to the stairway. Double D saw that these doors actually had handles.

"Alright, where's your room?" The man asked Double D, snapping him out of his observant situation. "Second floor? First floor? Basement? Or are you married?"

Double D almost fell back in shock. "Married?!" He repeated. "That's impossible! How could I be married at the tender age of sixteen? I ask you!"

The man looked at Double D as if he was joking. "Okay." He answered simply. "But, seriously, where's your room?"

"I don't live here!" Double D said, exasperated. "I live in Peach Creek!"

"Wow, are you some foreign exchange student?" The man asked. "The Mage's College hardly gets any of those. So, is your dad, like, the king of Peach Creek or a baron or what?"

Realization slowly dawned on Double D that he wasn't in Peach Creek anymore.

"What year is it?" Double D asked fearfully, worried about what the answer would be. "Well, what kind of dummy doesn't know that?" The man asked with a laugh. "It's, uh… 1500 years since the slaying of the Light Giant Be'Lebion, or the 1500th."

"And… what country are we in?" "Silly! We're in the city of Red River in the kingdom of Delphi!"

Double D's eyes widened in horror as his memories suddenly came rushing back to him. The library, the shadows, his friends vanishing… wait… his friends…

"Have you seen a short boy with a yellow shirt?" Double D asked worriedly. "Or maybe a tall boy with no chin and one eyebrow?"

"Does he have only one eyebrow or a unibrow?" The man asked seriously. "A unibrow." Double D answered.

"Oh." The man sighed. "No, sorry. Can't say I have."

Double D became even more worried. He had no idea where his friends were or where he was! What's more, he had absolutely no idea how to get back home! More still, he didn't know if he was going to get sick from lying in that horse poop!

"What am I going to do now?" Double D asked himself, close to tears. Unfortunately, the man thought he was talking to him. "Maybe you should skip today's classes, pal." He advised. "Are you feeling okay?"

Double D sighed sadly. Suddenly, he remembered something that the man had said. "Did you say that this was a 'Mage' College?"

"Oh, you're not a student?" The man asked in shock. He put his hands on his face and laughed embarrassedly. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I just assumed you were a student because you were sleeping in our stable."

Double D was going to tell him that anyone could have fallen asleep in his stable, but decided against it. "What, exactly, is a Mage College?"

"You don't know?" The man asked. "Don't they have them in Peach Creek?"

Double D thought his answer over before answering. He wasn't familiar with this world and didn't want to sound stupid. "We're a very poor village." He decided. "I came up here and I got… drunk in a bar. I woke up in your stable."

The man's green eye's squinted slightly at Double D's lie. But, after a second, the man smiled widely. "Well, aren't you lucky to be in the big city?" He asked. "See, kiddo, a Mage College is where 12-year-olds are sent to learn to control the forces of magic."

"Magic?" Double D repeated scrutinously. When the man gave him yet another strange look, Double D coughed. "I was just making sure."

"Well, it's usually only rich, scholar-types that send their kids here." The man explained. Remembering his courtesy, he slapped his forehead. "I forgot to introduce myself! I am the dean of the college, Leopold Snagaplakdangletripper."

The sheer length of the name almost gave Double D an ear-cramp.

"I'll tell you what, kiddo." Leopold offered. "Why don't you stay here for a while, maybe take some classes in basic magic. While you live here you can go out and search for your friends."

Double D considered the offer; it was very reasonable. Besides, it would give him a chance to study up on magic and see if there was any credit to that. But what were the chances that his friends were even in the city? Still, it was probably the best offer he'd get.

"I accept." Double D decided. "Fabulous!" Leopold said delightedly. "Now, let's go get you a cloak and a staff…"

* * *

MEANWHILE…

The large, black dragon sat perched in an even bigger chamber in an even bigger castle on an even bigger hill. There were no windows in the room, so as to keep out the accursed sun. Shadows covered the entire room, though the dragon itself seemed to have no shadow.

"**My plan to bring my master to this world seems to have failed.**" The dragon said. Its voice, though loud and powerful, was also deep like an old man's. "**Instead, I have brought mere children… I may need to let the Council know of this, but why let them worry for nothing?**"

The dragon looked at its prisoner; one of the children from the other world had appeared in his castle. It had removed the child's shadow and placed it in a large cage hanging from the ceiling.

"**Still, there is the chance I brought the Destined Ones to this world by accident.**" The dragon mused thoughtfully. "**Though the stories say they will be brought here by gods… ah, how trivial.**"

A long, long rope lowered from the ceiling and a man-like creature crawled down it. It was a patchwork person with long arms and legs and an insane, razor-sharp smile on its face. Cut in its patchwork face were two glowing, yellow eyes that stared at the dragon madly.

"Demogath!" The creature greeted, speaking without moving its mouth. The dragon, Demogath, groaned inside. Patches: the most annoying member of the Council of 13.

"Demogath, my friend, my master, my bully, my slave!" Patches greeted madly, hanging upside down in front of the dragon's snout. "I have such news for you, Demobuddy!"

Despite being relentlessly annoying, Demogath also found the bizarre creature incredibly useful. Patches was the only member of the Council who owed loyalty to him and not just the council. However, the threat of betrayal wasn't unimaginable, as Patches was mad enough to do almost anything.

"Zixoc is sending an army of spiders to the town of Red River." The ragdoll explained as it swung back and forth on the rope playfully. "It will take some time for them to reach the town, but they'll kill everything in their path."

"**That hot-blooded fool…**" Demogath muttered to itself angrily. He pounded one of his claws on the dungeon floor, cracking it. "**He is drawing unnecessary attention to the Council.**"

"You know Zixxy never listens!" Patches laughed, swinging with even more force. "The other Night Elves won't follow his lead, though; you know how unpopular the Swampdevil clan is!"

"**I do not care if the Night Elves decide to play 'Follow the Leader'.**" Demogath said as Patches swinging slowed to a halt. "**After the attack, I will send out my Shadow to summons the others for a meeting. We will discuss it then.**"

Patches opened its mouth, revealing a long, snake-like tongue that licked at the air before pulling back into his mouth. "Right, right, right!" He said in an almost sing-song voice. "Oh, the whole gang back together again, Demogath! Imagine it! We'll drink wine and sing songs of old!"

Demogath let out a snort at Patches' mad sayings. "**Return to your domain, Patches. I may need you to prepare your chamber for another test subject.**"

Patches giggled joyfully before crawling back up the rope. Demogath closed his eyes sleepily as the bizarre being lifted the rope back up.

* * *

Author's Notes: _We meet two of the story's villains, Patches and Demogath! Yes, I named a villain Patches! If you want to complain, I'll be too busy playing Brawl to hear you._

_If you have any ideas, feel free to let me know; you know, like creatures that could appear or things that could happen._

Next Time: Reunited and It Feels So Good


	3. Reunited And It Feels So Good

**Reunited and it Feels So Good**

_Author's Notes: Yeah, I've been playing Brawl recently, so I haven't had a lot of time to write. Anyways, it's good to see my fans are reviewing. Tell everyone you know about this story._

_And, by the way, you will address Leopold by his formal name: Dean Leopold Snagaplakdangletripper._

* * *

Akaci Wildpoison sat on the leather saddle placed on his giant, armored spider. He and an army of Night Elves raced through the dark tunnels of the Undercity, preparing for Zixoc's attack on the kingdom of Delphi.

Most of the Night Elves wore full, iron armor that covered their entire bodies and helmets with two slits that they could see through. Akaci, however, wore no helmet. His long, black hair flowed behind him as he rode. He had the typical pale skin and red eyes of the Night Elves.

"Zixoc wants us to fill up ten Blood Barrels, soldiers!" Akaci yelled to the men and women behind him. The army raised their spears in a mighty battle cry as Akaci whispered something to his spider.

"Remember; keep me as far away from any filth as possible." He ordered. "If I get any dirt on my armor then pull out immediately." The spider hissed in agreement with its master's familiar order.

"Milord!" One soldier yelled to Wildpoison. Akaci turned towards her as his spider continued riding forward. "We've been riding for a whole week straight! Ten men are dead! Perhaps we should take a break?"

Akaci took his spear and wordlessly thrust it through the Elf's armor and into her heart. The spider she had been riding stopped and several other spiders crashed into it. Akaci pulled his spear towards him and violently shoved the soldier off of his spear.

Taking a cloth from his spider's saddle, Akaci began cleaning the blood off of his spear. "Anyone who questions me will be killed."

* * *

RED RIVER:

In a large, lavish throne room a man in a red robe and gold crown sat alone on a solid-silver throne. He had a black beard and little tufts of hair stuck out from under his crown. Guards wearing the chainmail of the Delphi Royal Guard stood in attention before him.

"As I said, men, I invented spines." The king explained to his soldiers. None of them believed him, but not-believing the mighty King Lawrence was a crime punishable by death. "Saved the entire planet from a life of not standing up, I did. If it wasn't for me you'd probably be crumpled masses on the floor."

Then, one of the guards made one of the biggest mistakes possible. He asked a question. "But wouldn't we have died out a long time ago?"

The other guards' eyes widened in fear behind their helmets. The new guy had screwed-up again! King Lawrence looked at the guard for a few seconds thoughtfully. "Yes." He answered simply. "You wouldn't have been born at all. You know, I invented birth."

The guards all gave an inner groan at the king's terrible attempts to sound intelligent. They felt a sudden relief as a messenger in the green and brown clothes of the elves entered the room with a scroll.

"King Lawrence, I have a message from the Druid Prince." The elf said as he shoved several guards aside and handed the scroll to King Lawrence. "We have received very disturbing news."

King Lawrence opened the scroll. His chubby little eyes widened in horror and his mouth fell open. "By the Gods!" He exclaimed fearfully. "This letter is written in Dark-Runes!"

The messenger took the scroll from King Lawrence and turned it right-side-up. He handed it back to the king who began reading it.

"I see…" King Lawrence mused after he finished reading the note. "So a horde of Night Elves approach this city? Those fiends! I built this city, you know." "Sir, this city is over 1,000 years old!" "Yes. That's how I designed it."

The king tossed the scroll aside and looked the Elvin messenger square in the eye. "My pointy-eared friend, because you have given me this bad news, you must be killed by Raff."

One of the guards excitedly unsheathed his sword and brutally sliced off the elf's head. With a heavy thump, the elf's head and body fell to the floor and blood began to cover the place he had stood.

"Oh, you shouldn't have done that." King Lawrence sighed. "I was joking."

* * *

TWO MONTHS LATER:

Double D stepped out the front doors of the Mage College and into Red River's streets. He began moving with the crowd, following several vaguely arrow-like signs to the bazaar in the center of the city.

Edd had spent two months at the Mage College. He wore a bright-orange robe similar to Dean Snagaplakdangletripper's and carried a simple, gnarled, wooden staff in his hand. Several leather pouches were held to his waist by a belt.

"_Two months and I still have no idea where my friends are._" Double D lamented to himself as he entered a stone building that claimed to sell the best spell components in Red River. "_Meanwhile, Leopold has me out purchasing items so he and his students can cast spells…_"

The bearded shopkeeper was reading a scroll when Double D approached the counter. There weren't many Mages in Red River, so there weren't that many people in the store. The only other person Double D saw was someone in a leather tunic, cape, and cowl perusing the shelves.

The shopkeeper noticed Double D and put down his scroll. "King Lawrence is behind in the elections." He said, trying to make small talk. "Seems everyone's voting for a bear named Bosco."

Double D looked at the scroll before staring at the shopkeeper in confusion. "Isn't this a monarchy? I thought people were born into power."

"Yeah, they are." The shopkeeper confirmed with a nod. "Just goes to prove that power by birth is a stupid way to decide who rules, don't it?"

The hat-wearing Ed nodded in agreement. In the two months he had been here he had heard people complain and subsequently deny complaining about King Lawrence and his extremely loose grasp on reality. 

He had also heard that the best prostitutes lived near a tavern called the Blind Fox.

Double D was about to ask for half-a-pound of hollow Lamadian Seeds (Whatever those were), when the man in the cape and cowl suddenly grabbed one of the pouches on his belt and bolted out the door.

It took a few seconds for Double D to realize what happened. He chased after the thief and found that he had lost him in a crowd of people.

Double D opened one of the pouches still on his belt and gave a sigh of relief. The thief hadn't stolen his gold; probably just some spell components that Leopold made all of the apprentices carry around. 

Still, the fact that he had been stolen from upset him. Whoever that person was had planned on stealing from him, judging by how they had dressed. Double D went back into the shop, purchased the components, and walked back out. He began making his way to the college when he noticed someone was following him.

Edd turned and saw the cloaked person who had stolen from him, as well as a man dressed in perfectly ordinary street clothes with a small knife strapped to his belt. The man had long, black hair that covered his ears and narrow, almond-eyes.

"I'd like to thank you for helping in my apprentice's little exercise." The man thanked with a mocking smile as people walked past them without even noticing. "Of course, his mission was to steal your gold, but you mages carry so many valuable things that really anything will do. Am I right?"

Double D looked at the man scrutinously. There was something extremely… different about him. He wasn't exactly sure what it was, but the man carried with him an air of mystery.

The person who had stolen from Double D reached into a pocket inside of his cloak and pulled out the pouch he had taken. He tossed it at Double D's feet while the man chuckled. "This was simply a test, of course." The man explained. Double D picked up the pouch and tied it back onto his belt.

"I should report you for this." The young man said threateningly.

The black-haired man merely laughed at this. "The Red River Guard has been looking for me for twenty years and has failed to capture me despite every tip-off from every eye-witness available." He mocked. "Honestly, if you think you can single-handedly turn in the Lost Crow then, by all means, just try and remember what I even look like."

"Hey, boss, can I say some—?"

The man slapped his apprentice's forehead, knocking back his hood. "Kid, you're an apprentice; you're not allowed to talk yet." He reminded the young man who Double D was shocked and yet unsurprised to see.

"Eddy?"

* * *

JUST OUTSIDE RED RIVER:

Akaci and his now-smaller army of Night Elves stopped in a forest just outside of Red River. "I believe it's time we took a break, gentlemen." He ordered as he stared forward. The city was just visible on a green hill. Tall walls surrounded the formidable town and a castle rose up in the far back.

"It's about time, too." One Night Elf made the mistake of saying loud enough for the general to hear. "We were riding for two months straight; there are only twelve of us left."

Akaci gritted his teeth and, taking his spear, stabbed through the soldier's helmet ruthlessly. "If we had taken a break any farther away than the trip would have taken longer." Akaci hissed as he shoved the soldier's dead body off of his spear.

"Sir, the trip would have taken the same amount of time regardless of where we'd stopped." Another solider pointed out. This earned Akaci's spear getting shoved through both her and her solider. The blood splattered onto Akaci's armor and the warrior gave an angry groan.

"I have to go back to out kingdom and polish my armor." He told the remaining solider. He tossed his blood-coated spear aside. "There will be absolutely no food or water until I return."

"Why?" One solider asked. Akaci instinctively reached for his spear but decided against it. "Because if anyone eats, they'll throw all of the food they didn't eat away." He answered. Why was he even explaining it? It was so obvious!

In a puff of strange, black smoke, he and his spider both teleported back home to the Night Elf Capital. "Why did Zixoc put Akaci in charge again?" One solider asked almost as soon as the paranoid neat-freak was gone. "They've been friends since they were younglings." Another answered. Hunger and thirst were setting in heavily.

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be in Zixoc's elite Web-Walkers." The soldier admitted as he got off his spider and sat against a tree. His head was shaved bald revealing the pointy ears typical of elves. A sword hung at his side.

"You won't get in, Idovi; you're not in a clan." A female Night Elf pointed out. "If you slept with the right people then _maybe_ you'd be able to polish the spiders' armor."

"I tried that; turns out I was sleeping with a Doppelganger disguised as a Night Elf." Idovi responded. "I kinda miss her. Once you get past her lying and being a horrible non-Elvin, she wasn't that bad."

There was a very awkward silence.

* * *

BACK AT RED RIVER:

"Eddy?" Double D asked in shock at seeing Eddy's face. The man gave a groan. "How many rules are you going to break today, kid? No stealing from people you know outside the guild!" He reminded the greedy Ed.

Eddy himself seemed in shock. "Double D?" He asked. "I couldn't see you with my hood in my face!" "I keep telling the others we should get eye-holes put in." The man muttered.

"Do you have any idea where Ed is?" Double D asked. He wasn't sure exactly what else he could say. They _had_ been away from home for two months.

"Are you kidding me?" Eddy asked. "How the hell would I know that! One minute I'm in the library; next thing I know I'm in the sewers underneath this city!"

"_So we wound up in different places…_" Double D thought. "_Are the others in this city, too, or are they somewhere else in this strange, new world?_"

"Yeah, I hate to interrupt this love-fest, but you should really leave." The man said. He grabbed Eddy's hood and forced it back up over his head. "Sorry for the mix-up, Doubledee. Won't happen again." The man grabbed the back of Eddy's collar and began dragging him away.

Double D tried to chase after them but found his mind too fogged up for some reason. Eddy seemed surprisingly calm about the man dragging him off and merely gave Double D as helpless shrug as they rounded a corner.

"Was he one of the kids you told me about?" The man asked Eddy as they walked down an alley between two shops. When Eddy didn't answer, the man sighed. "It's okay, kid; you can talk when I ask you something."

"He's one of those friends of mine who helped me with my scams." Eddy said, almost bragging. The two reached a large, vault-like door in the ground that led to the sewers.

"Is he the stupid one or the weak one?" The man asked as he bent down and opened the door.

"The weak one; but he's real smart. Those were uh… mage's clothes, right?"

"He's an apprentice, at least." The man answered. He dropped down into the sewers and Eddy followed after. They landed boot-deep in thick, questionable goo. The man reached up and closed the door to the sewer after him. "I really hate their robes, you know that?"

Eddy looked at the walls of the sewers. They were already sort of homely to him. People like him had sprawled graffiti on the walls in chalk. On small roads on the sides of the sewer, there were signs that many people had been there. To Eddy's surprise, he even saw a gold piece, which he reached down towards and picked up.

"It's kinda weird; you wind up with the Thieves Guild and that Doubledee guy's a mage." The man said as he stepped onto a road. Eddy followed after him as the man began following the road through the sewer's tunnels. "Of course, you got the street-smart, devilish good-looks end of the deal. Your buddy got the cloak-wearing bastard end."

After a long walk, Eddy and the man reached a door that one would normally find in the sewers. The man knocked on the door five times, taking a pause before the second and fifth knock.

"Whose hands of gold can steal anything from anyone?"

Eddy knew what the answer to the guard behind the door's question was before they even asked it. The man, instead of giving the name of some ancient thief god, gave a more specific answer.

"Yeah, that'd be me." He said.

The guard sighed in his serpentine voice. "Hopaol, you Half-Elf bastard, you're supposed to say the Naja Thief God's name."

Hopaol, the man with Eddy, pretended to think about this for a few seconds. "Yeah, like I said; that's me." He repeated. "At least, your sister kept calling me a god when we were together."

The guard grumbled something that Eddy could only assume was insulting and opened the door. The guard was a snake-human creature with a human's body and a snake-like head. He was covered in yellow scales, had narrow, red eyes, and wore clothes like Eddy's.

"Nice to see you, Dy." Hopaol greeted with a friendly nod. The snake-creature returned the favor by spitting on Hopaol's boots.

"Love you, too, buddy." Hopaol grinned as Dy walked away. "Can't believe he's still mad that I slept with all four of his sisters. I was doing the ugly one a favor. And it's not like it was all at the same time… well, you know… not all four of them at the same time."

Eddy had grown used to his mentor's stories about his personal life. Most of them were good, anyways.

"Okay, we're going to take a little break, then we'll head back up and you can try to steal from someone else." Hopaol said as he and Eddy entered through the door. "Hopefully it won't be that big-headed crazy kid you told me about."

Meanwhile, back above ground, puffs of black smoke appeared all over the city. The Night Elves, all riding their armored spiders, had teleported within the city walls. Akaci, now wearing brightly-cleaned armor, grinned as a confused public began running in fear. He opened his mouth and yelled out his first order to the other Night Elves.

"ATTACK WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! IF YOU DIE I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF MY ARMY!"

* * *

Next Time: How To Kill Spiders


	4. How to Kill Spiders

How To Kill Spiders

**How To Kill Spiders**

_Author's Notes: Unlike my other fan fics, this story will have several story arcs. This whole Night Elf invasion thing is just the introduction, though. Now prepare yourself for Oriental martial arts despite a medieval setting! Also, I'll still be writing my PsychoEd stories. I'm just going to write a few chapters for this story first._

* * *

After running into Eddy, Double D had gone back to the Mage College. Despite being there two months, he still was unable to open the doors and needed help from the inside.

The large doors opened and Double D stepped in. The doors closed quickly behind him, as per usual. There were several groups of mages walking up and down the stairs, filling up the large building.

"I got the spell components!" Double D yelled out. One mage noticed him and took the items he had purchased before walking away. Double D stared at the people, unsure what to do next.

Then there was the explosion.

It came from outside, but it was loud enough that it could be heard in the college. Several mages recognized the sound as a Jump Spider teleporting and quickly backed away from the door. Double D was not fortunate enough to do so.

The doors to the college were suddenly blown down by an outside force. They were sent flying by the blast, soaring a foot above Double D's head before crashing to the ground before him. A sudden blow to his head knocked him aside and made his world start spinning.

"Look at the stupid little mortals toying with magic…" A warbling voice mocked before Double D was knocked out.

* * *

RED RIVER:

As Idovi and his spider leapt from building to building in the city of Red River, the Night Elf watched the scurrying masses of humans running for their lives below. Was there really a point? The humans could only live to their sixties, maybe seventies, and those were a Night Elf's youth.

Idovi jumped off of his spider and landed amongst the panicked crowd. Following orders, he took his blade and thrust it into one screaming man. The crowd immediately began trying to run around the Night Elf, but a spinning blade attack made quick work out of several of them.

_**Such fine killing. You turn the seas red with blood.**_

There was the voice again. Idovi sheathed his sword and looked around fearfully. Lately, whenever he had killed, that voice had been there. Was he insane? Possibly; it was quite common in Night Elf culture.

With a quick mental command, Idovi's spider teleported to his side, knocking down several innocent bystanders. "Let's get out of here." Idovi said to his spider. In a puff of black smoke, the killer and his beast teleported somewhere else in the town.

* * *

MAGE COLLEGE:

Double D opened his eyes groggily. His head was pounding from being hit on the side of the head with a spear. He wasn't quite sure where he was… he heard voices, screaming. Was Eddy getting chased by the Kankers?

Double D soon remembered he wasn't in Peach Creek. He sat up and realized his Mage's Robes had been taken from him. He was wearing a simple pair of pantaloons and his hat. His staff was lying several feet away.

Rubble covered the Mage College. Double D didn't see any people around… had that person who had come in chased them all out? Double D stood up, wondering what on Earth had happened to his clothes.

"Edd!" A familiar voice called out. Double D felt Leopold Snagaplakdangletripper's hand on his shoulder. "Thank Savyah you're alive!"

Double D dizzily turned around to face the dean. Dean Snagaplakdangletripper's robes were badly scorched and one of his earrings was missing. He still had his staff, though, so that was something.

"A Night Elf Mage attacked us." Dean Snagaplakdangletripper explained. "It was _horrible_. Her and that giant spider of hers!" The dean shuddered at the mere memory of the huge, armored beast. "There are Night Elves all over the city!"

Double D wasn't sure if he should be afraid or concerned that there were actually creatures like 'Night Elves' in this world. Well, considering that there was magic, the existence of elves probably wasn't too farfetched. Of course, when Dean Snagaplakdangletripper said 'elves', Double D had immediately thought of Santa Clause and _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_.

Leopold walked past Double D and picked up the shirtless boy's staff. He handed it to him and sighed. "It looks like the Elite Guard will be taking care of the Night Elves and their disgusting spiders. Still, it's not safe for you to stay here."

Double D couldn't help but agree with this. His magical abilities were roughly on par with that of someone who hadn't even been in the college for a week. The thing with magic was that it wasn't numbers or words or theory but something else altogether.

"I want you to run out of here, down the street, and to a big, brick building." Leopold instructed as he walked Double D over to the door. "There'll be a big, ol' sign out front that reads 'The Bat's Path.' I have friends there who can protect you."

"Are you daft?" Double D asked in exasperation. "What if I'm attacked by one of these Night Elves? One of them already stole my shirt!"

"Just run as fast as you can." Dean Snagaplakdangletripper ordered. "The Night Elves are _completely _merciless killers. You're real lucky that whoever attacked you just stole your shirt!"

Double D groaned irritably. "I can't even cast any spells; why do I need to carry my staff around with me?"

Leopold groaned irritably. He reached into the sleeve of his cloak and pulled out a crumpled-up piece of parchment. "This is the spell Wing of Spark." He explained as he forced it into Double D's hand. "Just concentrate on the writing and point your staff at your target."

Double D opened the paper and saw that it was written in archaic runes. He placed it in his cloak's sleeve and looked at Leopold questioningly. "If you can cast a spell just by reading a piece of paper, then why is there a college?"

"Magic is like science; it needs to be studied." Leopold answered. "Now get out of here! Qi isn't going to wait forever!"

* * *

THE SEWERS:

"I understand that you sell illegal, magical artifacts here." Akaci said to Hopaol and Eddy deep beneath the battles above. The two thieves stood in front of a large, wooden door. Akaci was on his giant spider so as to avoid getting dirty.

"I wouldn't call them 'illegal' so much as 'limited-edition'." Hopaol responded. Eddy couldn't help but grin. That sounded like something his older brother would have said if he was a back-alley thief in a bizarre, magical world.

"My lord Zixoc is a member of an elite group called the Council of Thirteen." Akaci explained to the thief. "An accomplice of his, the Ogre King Kogolt, is looking for an item called the Gods' Crown."

There was a loud, exploding noise from above. Eddy and Hopaol both looked up in confusion. "It's probably just you stupid humans playing a stupid human sport." Akaci said quickly. "Definitely not an invasion. Or the twisted workings of Night Magic."

Hopaol nodded at this seemingly-acceptable answer. "I'm afraid we don't have this crown the ogre's looking for." He apologized. "Not sure what an ogre would do with a crown, anyways. Eat it, I'm guessing?"

"They _are_ stupid." Akaci agreed as he stared forward thoughtfully. "Ogres are stupid… just like everyone who isn't a Night Elf."

Hopaol chuckled. "I should have recognized you as a Night Elf; you're way too pale."

Akaci gritted his teeth at this comment. "I'm not going to have a Half-Human bastard criticizing a superior species." He said as he thrust his spear in Hopaol's direction. Hopaol somehow manage to grab the spear's shaft before it reached him and yanked it out of Akaci's hands with such force that it pulled him off of his spider.

Akaci landed in the filth of the sewers with a dull squish. He stood up, his front half almost completely covered in water and excrements. "Stupid human waste-system." He muttered as he turned and jumped back on his spider. In a puff of black smoke, the two disappeared.

"I'm keeping this." Hopaol chuckled as he observed the spear he had taken. "This thing has to be worth at least 85 gold."

A quiet rumbled came from Eddy's stomach. "I'm getting kind of hungry." He told his mentor. "I'm gonna go up to the city to steal some food."

"Watch out for the guard." Hopaol advised as Eddy began to head out; completely unaware of what was going on in Red River.

* * *

RED RIVER:

**THE BAT'S PATH SCHOOL**

**Punching things hurts them**

Double D stared at the strange wooden sign that hung above the wooden door of the building Dean Snagaplakdangletripper had told him to find. The streets of the city were deserted, save for dozens of dead bodies lying in pools of their own blood. Hesitantly, Double D knocked on the door.

"Stop punching the door!" A voice hissed from inside. "I keep telling you idiots you can't hurt doors!"

The door opened and Double D was shocked to see green-skinned snake-creature at the door. It had a snake's head and the lower half of a snake and its body was covered in scales. It also wore what looked to Double D like a black, sleeveless karate _gi_ over a male torso.

"If you're one of the invaders, this isn't the palace." The creature hissed. "I'm training my disciples in the Bat's Path and I don't want to be bothered!"

Double D opened his mouth to speak, unsure how to treat this creature. "Leopold sent me." He explained. The snake arched an eyebrow (Or the flesh above one of its eyes) and looked at Double D curiously. "Who?"

Double D realized that this man probably didn't know Leopold's first name.

"Dean Snaga… Snagaplak… Snaga…" "Snagaplakdangletripper sent you, did he?" The snake asked, helping Double D by saying the dean's name. "If you're a mage, doesn't he think you can handle yourself?"

"I'm a newcomer." Double D answered as the snake let him into the small building. There were ten men in martial-arts uniforms in the large, brick room. There were several training dummies, weights, and motivational posters littered around the room.

"I am Qi; teacher of the Bat's Path School in Red Wing." The snake introduced after he closed the door behind Double D. "You should be safe here, hopefully."

"Nope! Can't open the safe!"

Double D's eyes widened at hearing the all-too-familiar voice. Standing in a corner in the back of the room, dressed in the same, black martial arts uniforms as everyone else was the messy-haired, flat-headed, back-of-head head of one of Double D's best friends.

Ed turned around, the typical goofy grin still on his face. "Hiya, Double D." He greeted as if they had just seen each other yesterday. With the blissful ignorance of his mind, Ed had adapted to this new world in a matter of mere seconds.

Double D was overjoyed at seeing his friend. In the past twenty-four hours, he had found both of his best friends. Maybe the other Peach Creek kids weren't that far off…

Qi chuckled when he saw the two boys' familiarity. "I take it you are this student's friend? Well, nobody's been paying for his lessons since he got here, so I hope you've got 400 gold pieces on you, because nobody's been paying for his lessons."

Double D wasn't really paying attention to what Qi had said. He was just happy to have found Ed. "Ed, what happened to you?"

"Well, after the nice man in the suit brought me here, I started learning how to kill zombies!" Ed exclaimed. Double D chuckled. It had been two whole months since he had heard Ed's idiotic sayings.

"Ed has been learning the martial arts style known as the Bat's Path." Qi explained. "He's a bit of a slow learner, however, so he's only learned a single technique."

"Yes, that sounds like Ed." Double D confirmed as Ed raised his sleeveless arm and scratched it. "Did you say you teach martial arts?"

Qi nodded as he signaled for his students to resume training. For everyone except Ed, this seemed to mean sparring. For Ed, it meant staring at the wall.

"The Bat's Path is one of the 8 Studies of Beasts." Qi explained to Double D. "The Studies of Beasts is actually a school of magic, focusing more on the magic of the living body than that which lies in other planes of existence."

Double D was quietly fascinated by this. He didn't know there were different schools of magic.

"By incorporating animalistic movements into battle techniques, as well as focusing amount of a unique, magical life-force into different points of the body, a punch or kick can be much more devastating." Qi explained. "It is no small thing to master techniques both mentally and physically, however."

Double D looked at Ed. He knew what Qi was saying. Ed had the physical strength to fight, but not the mental ability to learn magic.

The door to the building was suddenly opened and closed by someone, clearly panicked. Double D turned and was surprised to see Eddy, his back against the door, panting heavily.

The short thief looked at all of the men in martial arts uniforms in confusion and wasn't too surprised by the snake-creature. Dy was the same species, but the one with Double D seemed much more snake-like. Eddy was more surprised to see his friend Ed at the back of the room and his friend Double D, shirtless and talking to the Naga.

"Eddy?" Double D asked in confusion. "What are you doing here? Did you escape that man you were with earlier?"

Eddy chuckled. Despite remembering Eddy had been with a man, Double D wasn't going to be able to remember any details about Hopaol. Not even Eddy could remember what his mentor looked like right now.

"Hopaol sent me to get lunch when I was attacked by some creep riding a spider." Eddy explained to his friend. "I saw someone else riding a spider down in the sewers earlier, but he was looking to buy something."

"Spiders are like tiny octopuses, only the ink is webs." Ed compared as he turned around to face Eddy. "Good to see you, lumpy." Eddy greeted stiffly. He was completely unaware of the fact that the door was slowly melting.

Double D gasped in horror and Eddy backed away from the door. When he turned around, the door had almost completely melted to the ground. A female Night Elf, wearing a black-and-purple cloak instead of armor, rode an armored spider just outside the door.

In a puff of black smoke, the Night Elf and her spider teleported into the room. Qi's students immediately took fighting stances, except for Ed, who muttered something about 'calamari'.

The Night Elf had long, black hair. Her eyes seemed a much deeper red than others of her species. Double D and Eddy both noticed she was disturbingly beautiful; almost unnaturally so. She carried a large, steel staff with a piece of black stone perched on top.

"I am Erael Abigobride." The Night Elf mage greeted with a mocking smile towards the entire room. "My god, Abigo, has given me the power to murder each and every one of you. This power will be used in his mighty name."

Double D quickly reached into his hat and pulled out the piece of paper Leopold had given him. He opened it up, pointed his staff at Erael, and began concentrating on the writing. To his surprise, they began to form words he could make out.

Before he could read the spell, a strange, skull-shaped blast of darkness was blasted from Erael's staff. The blast hit Double D, knocking him down and knocking the paper out of his hands.

Ed's brain wasn't able to fully grasp what had just happened, but he knew when his friend had been hurt. He also knew his friend had been hurt by the Spider-Centaur of the 13th Realm.

Ed found himself running underneath Erael's spider and striking one of its legs with his elbow as he ran past. By the time he reached the other side, the spider's leg had been severely damaged and it had fallen on it.

Eddy looked from Ed to the injured spider in surprise. Since when could Ed do that? In seconds, the rest of Qi's students were upon the spider, attacking with simple punches and kicks instead of martial arts techniques like what Ed had just used.

"The Shadowy Swoop?" Qi asked under his breath. "When in Vari's name did he learn that?"

As the martial arts students attacked Erael and her spider, Erael silently twisted the air into a protective field around her. This was getting tedious. She had expected to get in, kill everyone, and get out. Those had been her god's orders when he had sent her to accompany Akaci's group.

Muttering some words of command, Erael expanded her protective field until it flung the martial-artists off of her and her spider and into the walls. Quickly, the Night Mage caused hands to grow from the walls and grab those who had dog-piled her.

Double D opened his eyes and almost immediately dove for the paper. Erael saw this and quickly jumped from her spider onto Double D's back. Double D painfully realized that Erael was wearing metal boots.

"Human magic is so weak and flimsy." Erael mocked as she pressed Double D's head to the ground with her staff. "The same goes for all other species; you merely tap into the forces of nature. We twist them to our wishes."

Erael felt cold metal rub against her neck. She turned around to see Eddy, his dagger in-hand and bloody, staring at Erael in confused horror. Erael hesitantly reached for her neck and felt her own blood trickling from a cut.

"You inferior rat." Erael hissed as she lifted her staff from Edd's head and pointed it at the shortest Ed's feet. The floor beneath Eddy instantly took on the properties of quicksand, and Eddy grimly realized he was stuck and sinking.

"We Night Elves are a heartier race than you." She mocked as Eddy struggled in vain to pull his feet out from the viscous ground. "The Seven Gods we worship allow us to survive almost anything."

Ed charged the Night Elf, attempting to repeat the attack he had made against her spider. Unfortunately, the spider wasn't dead yet, and it extended a leg, tripping Ed. Ed laughed stupidly, unaware that he was probably going to die.

"Do you see the futility of your actions?" Erael asked Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Qi merely stood in the back while Erael mocked the group, her back to the door. "It is foolish for the weaker species and gender to attack one who is superior."

"SURPRISE ATTACK!"

Erael turned towards the door upon hearing the contradictory declaration. Two young men in red-and-silver armor ran into the room, swords and shields drawn to attack. The taller one, who had yelled out 'surprise attack', thrust his sword into Erael's spider, killing it. The shorter one charged Erael, stabbing her through the stomach.

The Night Elf coughed up a disgusting combination of blood and bile as she staggered back. The attack wasn't capable of killing her, but it still hurt her badly. When she took a step back, Double D grabbed the piece of paper and hastily read what was written on it.

Then, he broke the biggest rule in the world of Mages: _Never_ mispronounce anything.

As soon as Double D had misread the incantation, a large, red portal opened up in the ceiling. Erael stared at the portal in wonder as it seemed to suck all of the magic out of the room; Eddy was freed from the quicksand, the hands holding the students all disintegrated, and even Erael's dead spider was sucked into the vortex.

After a few seconds, a large, red dog fell from the portal. Erael gave an audible gasp and quickly got down on her knees, bowing. The dog growled and sniffed at Erael before turning towards Double D.

Edd stared at the hound in utter terror. The knights held their swords at the ready to kill the dog, but were too terrified to move. The dog approached Double D and sniffed him over before biting his hand.

Double D screamed in agony as he pulled his hand back from the dog. It felt as if someone had stabbed knives into his left hand, which sported three, red bite-marks in the form of a triangle. Double D looked at the dog in confusion before it vanished.

Erael got up and looked at Double D, clearly confused. She turned and ran out of the building. Why had one of the Hounds appeared to that mortal? Why had it given him the mark? She pondered these questions as she ran into an alley.

"Shouldn't you run after her?" Eddy asked the knights. "I'm kinda shaken by that giant dog thing." The larger knight explained. His voice was deep, guttural, and with a thick, Cockney accent. "'Sides, shouldn't we get your ugly friend to an 'ospital?"

Double D looked at his three bite-marks; they seemed to have healed completely. They were still visible, however, and glowing bright red. That was odd.

"You dorks are always getting intro trouble." The shorter knight said, shocking the Ed's. "It's probably your fault we're in this dimension in the first place."

Eddy and Double D's jaws dropped at the familiar knight's voice. He removed his helmet, revealing Kevin, hatless and with a small beard.

* * *

Author's Notes: _No, this isn't a Double D fic. It'll focus on all of the Cul de Sac kids. Even Jimmy. And, yeah, I gave Kevin a beard. He's sixteen in this story, remember? Will I keep it or should it be temporary? You decide and I might listen!_

Next Time: An Audience With The King


	5. An Audience with the King

An Audience with the King

**An Audience with the King**

_Author's Notes: OMG! The Doctor actually reviewed—_

_No. Wait. That says _Mr. _Who. Whatever, I'll just tell everyone that he's David Tennant. Anyways, read and review._

**All reviews will be used to combat Daleks.**

* * *

In the stony landscape of the Night Elf Undercity, Zixoc Swampdevil marched up a long flight of steps in his mansion to the bedroom. Zixoc was wearing the black-and-red robes of the Night Elf clan-leaders, his clan's crest decorating the back. Zixoc had black hair and a very serious look about him. A black, ornate ring decorated his left hand.

Zixoc reached the doors and pushed them open, revealing the dark, cold room. The only things in the room were his large, lavish bed, numerous portraits of his forefathers, and a woman sitting on the bed.

Zixoc's eyes widened in surprise before he recognized the woman as his mistress, Circe. Circe was not a Night Elf, though her skin was strikingly pale. She had short, black hair and wore a red dress. A necklace similar to Zixoc's ring adorned her neck.

"I've been waiting for you all day, Zixoc." Circe said with a coy smile. She knew the Night Elf loved her; she felt something close to affection for him, as well. But that didn't stop her from using him.

"I didn't know you'd be arriving from Malvania." Zixoc apologized, awestruck by her sudden arrival. He approached her with his arms open, though a sudden sensation of pain stopped him.

"I'm sorry to say I'm not here for you, lover." Circe apologized as she stood up and walked to Zixoc. "Demogath wishes to see you about your invasion of Red River."

Zixoc scoffed as he turned away from Circe. "To think that my men could suffer such heavy casualties." He muttered irritably. "There were only three left when I ordered the retreat, did you know that?"

"This is serious, love." Circe said as she approached her lover and wrapped her arms around him. "Demogath is calling a full meeting of the Council; you're aware, of course, of one of the member's passing?"

Zixoc nodded as he turned to face Circe. "I have heard."

"We've begun initiating a new member." Circe explained. "He's a Naga with very close ties to the royal family, from what I hear."

Zixoc smiled at Circe lovingly, sending a wave of nausea through the girl. She didn't see why the Night Elf couldn't be like her and see this as a purely physical relationship.

"I suppose we'll have to go right away." Zixoc nodded as Circe let go of him and he stepped back. "I'll send for my special spider to take us to Demogath's palace at once."

Circe chuckled playfully. "The meeting isn't scheduled until tomorrow… we don't have to leave _right_ away…"

* * *

RED RIVER CASTLE:

"So, Kevin, the guys we met at the school was your friends?" Raff, the larger knight who had been with Kevin the other day, asked his friend. The two were roommates at the knight's camp, Raff taking the cadet who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere under his wing.

"Those dorks aren't my friends." Kevin responded as he put on his hat. He decided that today he was going to go helmetless. Rubbing the beard he'd let grow, Kevin decided it was time for a shave.

"You been usin' that word a lot lately… 'dorks'." Raff pointed out. Raff was in his casual wear, a tunic. Unlike any human, he was much bigger and a bit ape-like. He was bald, though many strands of hairs popped out of his head, partially covering his scalp.

Sensing his friend wanted to shave, Raff reached under his mattress and revealed a vaguely sharp rock and a very reflective rock. Kevin took the two rocks hesitantly; he had no idea why Raff's tools seemed so primitive.

"Well, they're just a bunch of idiots." Kevin explained as he painfully began scraping the sharp rock against his face. "They—OW!—were always trying to scam me and my friends out of money."

"Well, the little'un in the cape looked like a thief, to me." Raff said as Kevin began bleeding. "That was Eddy." Kevin explained, tears started coming to his eyes. Most of his beard was gone now, but it was replaced by several bloody cuts. "He's the worst out of all of them. I don't see why the king wants to see them."

"Well, 'e wants to see you, too." Raff pointed out. "Maybe 'e's gonna reward ya for all ya did when the Night Elves attacked."

Kevin angrily tossed the two rocks to his floor. His shave was finished. Now all he needed was a bandage.

* * *

MEANWHILE…

"Sorry, kid. No pets allowed."

"I haven't got a pet!" Eddy yelled at the castle guard. He stood outside the large doors to the palace, and the only thing stopping him from getting in was this guard's firm belief that he had a pet with him.

"The king's rule is that anyone without an animal must be hiding it somewhere." The guard explained to the young thief. "I'm sorry, but even if you were invited, the king's rules stand."

"Just let him in." A female voice ordered. Eddy realized that a girl about his age with long, red hair had been standing next to him. He noticed she was wearing a very regal, purple dress. He also noticed her boobs.

The guard bowed hastily upon realizing the girl was there. "Princess Isabella! I'm sorry, but it is your father's firm decision that what he's doing is too graphic for your young, virgin mind."

"Isn't my father just sitting down on his throne?" "Yes, milady; yes, he is."

"Just let us in, Jack." Isabella ordered. "We both know my father isn't right in the head; just let the two of us in."

"'Kay." Jack nodded as he opened the doors to the white, marble palace. Eddy and Isabella stepped in and the door immediately closed behind them.

"I apologize for my father's idiocy." Isabella said to Eddy as she began walking forward. Eddy stayed behind, watching her walk. "Most of his decisions have lead to war, as you can tell from yesterday."

"Hey, I've got a question for you." Eddy suddenly blurted out. Isabella turned towards him expectantly. "Are your legs tired?"

Isabella stared at Eddy in confusion. "No. Why?"

"Cause, baby, you've been walking through my mind all day!"

Isabella turned around and continued walking, completely ignoring what Eddy had said. "Okay, I'm sorry!" Eddy apologized as he chased after the princess. "Can I at least say that I think your dress looks good?"

Isabella chuckled. This short idiot at least knew to apologize. "Thank you." She said to him. "It's made of—."

"But, baby, it'd look better on my bedroom floor!"

The princess glared at Eddy angrily. Didn't this idiot know that she could have him executed for saying these things? "You'd best shut up." She whispered threateningly. "I'm going to have you in the gallows if you say one more thing to me."

Eddy, of course, had no idea what gallows were. He could tell they weren't good, though, so he decided to shut up. He followed the princess down the long, white hallway until he reached a sight for sore eyes: Kevin (Who, for some reason, had a blood-stained bandage wrapped around his chin) and his big friend Raff.

"Hello, Kevin." Isabella greeted. Kevin didn't seem aware of her presence, as he was instead glaring at Eddy angrily. "What'd I do?" Eddy asked defensively.

"I know it's you and your dorky friends' faults we're stuck here." Kevin responded angrily. Isabella and Raff were especially confused by their strange conversation.

Isabella looked at Kevin with a smile as she twisted her hair around her finger. "Kevin, since you're such a talented knight, I was wondering if you'd be interested in being my bodyguard." She said to the balding youth. "Then you can I could be alone so much and—."

"Hey, no fair!" Eddy yelled angrily. "Why the hell does Kevin get some?!"

"I don't even like here!" Kevin exclaimed. Isabella glared angrily at Eddy. "You little toad!" She yelled.

"Kevin ruined all me good rocks!" Raff blurted out. He had just wanted to join in on the yelling. When the others stared at him, Raff merely muttered something in a strange, barbaric language.

There was the sound of doors opening and the group saw Double D and Ed enter the palace. "Well, I see that Ed and I are not tardy." Double D said to the group as they approached each other. He had a bandage wrapped around the hand that had been bitten.

"Tardis?" Raff misheard. "What in da abyss is 'tardis'?! Stop usin' fake words! I'll tear off ya head!"

Double D didn't even bother to correct Raff. From the look of the knight, it seemed he could rip off Double D's head if he so desired. "It means we're not late." Double D explained to Raff.

"Are you askin' for a sword through da face?!"

"Raff is a Half-Orc." Isabella explained to Double D. "Their brains aren't much larger than regular orcs', and neither is their capacity for peace."

"My left arm is not much larger than my right." Ed observed as he stared at his arms. "Hey, he's right." Raff agreed.

"Please just follow me." Isabella ordered as she led the group down the hallway and to a pair of giant, red doors. The Ed's and Kevin noticed that the walls and floor were plated with solid silver, and several pieces of art hung on the walls… all of them with the king's face crudely painted on top of them.

The doors opened, revealing the throne room. A man with a gold crown sat in a solid-silver chair before them. "Ah, welcome!" He greeted. "You four made quite an impression when the Night Elves invaded."

Kevin, Ed, Edd, and Eddy approached the king. Double D suddenly saw that the king's leather shoes had blood on them.

"I see you're admiring my shoes." King Lawrence observed with a hearty smile. "Are they not wonderful? They're made from babies; fresh daily."

The Ed's stared at the king in utter horror. "That's disgusting!" Double D exclaimed while Kevin simply looked away. "How can you do such a thing?!"

"That doesn't sound like a compliment." King Lawrence observed. Three knights entered the room behind the Ed's. "You're just jealous of my baby-shoes!"

Eddy and Double D realized immediately what kind of king was before them.

"Now, I have called you here for a purpose that's slightly more important than my baby-shoes." The king explained to the group of boys. "I've decided that you four are the Fated Warriors."

Isabella stared at her father in shock. She knew he thought he could do a lot of things, but did he actually think he could _choose_ the Fated Warriors?

"Allow me to explain." The king said to the four teenagers. "You see, long ago, there were two sorcerers: Betulorat and Lrul. They were evil men who sought power over all else. But, in their quest for power, they became slaves to one of the evil Gods of the Waste: Mororduatha, the Queen of Hives.

"The Queen of Hives ordered the two to destroy everything in their path. Over time, the three joined with the Jaab Warmaster Yaulteix and the legendary gods Te, Lo, and Fa. The 7 Scarlet Elves joined next, creating the first Council of 13, an organization bent on controlling the world through Dark Magic.

"Legend has it that warriors appeared from another world and waged war on the Council, defeating them one by one. Finally, confronting the Queen of Hives, the heroes used powerful magic to trap her in another plane of existence. Unfortunately, they could not do as much to Betulorat and Lrul. They split Betulorat into two beings, both of them weak and fragile; and they severed Lrul's own shadow from his body, preventing him from entering the sun."

"Yes, well, that's a nice story." Double D said, dismissing it all as myth. "But what does that have to do with us?"

"Lrul spent his time hiding in a land of darkness." Isabella answered. "He grew more powerful, eventually growing into a Shadow Dragon. He has formed the Council of 13 yet again in the hopes of bringing the Queen of Hives back to this world."

Eddy felt himself growing nervous. Unlike Double D, he could tell that this story was true. He could also tell where this was going.

King Lawrence smiled at the four boys. "I've decided that you four are the Fated Heroes, reincarnated. It will be your job to, once again, defeat the Council of 13."

Kevin stared at the king in shock. Double D's mouth hung open. Eddy was speechless. Ed's head itched.

Kevin glared at the princess, hoping for some back-up. When she merely shrugged, he looked back at the king. "You just _decided_ we're these 'Fated Warriors'? I'm not even sure the dorks have what it takes to beat anyone!"

King Lawrence laughed good-naturedly. "I am, aren't I? Still, you should prepare for your quest; you'll be leaving tomorrow morning."

"You're insane!" Double D exclaimed. "If I was insane, would I have these awesome baby-shoes?" The king asked as he gestured towards his shoes.

* * *

Next Time: The Council Meets


	6. The Council Meets

The Council Meets

**The Council Meets**

_Author's Notes: Hey, sorry if this is a little late. I've been playing _Sam & Max_, getting ready for Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People. That shit's gonna be tight, dawg._

_Man… I really love reviews. Did you know _NintendoNut1 _actually thinks the king is right? That's adorable! And just so you know, Letter-Letter-Number, baby-shoes cry when you walk._

**Reviews are my antidepressant. Do you people **_**want**_** me to be sad?**

* * *

Zixoc and Circe clung to each other as their lips met, their long make-out session having lasted a minute. They were in the dining room of Demogath's crumbling castle, standing near a long, stone table with six chairs on one side, six on the other, and one at the head. They were alone, and Circe thought they should take advantage of it.

"'ello, skinnies!" A loud voice shattered their tranquility as they broke apart. A giant, fat humanoid creature had entered the room. He was completely hairless and had small tusks and two small horns. He had blue-green skin and wore only a pair of pantaloons. Tribal tattoos covered his body.

"Oh, me dad told me 'bout you two an' your kissing and your other stuff." The creature greeted as it approached one of the seats to the side and sat down. "Me name's Holg Gutmasher; 'member it."

"You're an ogre, aren't you?" Zixoc asked as he and Circe also took their seats. How dare this idiotic behemoth ruin the solitude he had with Circe! Still, if he was Gell's son, he couldn't retaliate. There was an unspoken treaty between members of the Council, and attacking anyone close to a member summoned their wrath.

"Dad's out lookin' for da crown before da hairies get it." Holg explained to the two lovers. "Me dad's real smart, y'know. One day, I'm gonna be smart as 'e is. I already know dat I'm not s'posed to eat ya."

"Don't waste your time talking to me, you buffoonish freak." Zixoc insulted.

"Aw, no need to flatter me." Holg grinned. He had no idea what those words meant, so he just assumed they were complimentary.

"Tell your even more idiotic father that my troops failed to gather information about the crown." Zixoc ordered. "It looks like the Orcs might beat you to the crown."

Holg yelled something in a crude, guttural language. "Hairies won't find da crown! Dad's da smartest ogre ever! Hairies are tiny, stupid critters!"

Another being entered the door. It was a female, humanoid creature in a black robe that covered her whole body. She wore a black helmet that covered her head and face. She was accompanied by two men in similar robes, though theirs were red and silver. Their heads could be seen; they were extremely old Elves with black skin and no hair.

"Scarlet Elves." Zixoc realized, fear slowly creeping into his voice as the female sat down next to him. All elves knew of the Scarlet Elves' treachery in the Old Years, and their journey into the desert known as the Waste. They worshipped the nightmarish Gods of the Waste, horrible creatures derived from basic emotion.

"I see you two old geezers have found a new leader." Zixoc said to the two old elves. "It's about time; you've needed one for a hundred years."

"Watch your tongue, young one." The maiden in black advised. Her voice was smooth and seductive, but also held a strangely human quality to it. "I am Aurtulia come to this plane and will take anyone whom I desire."

Zixoc shuddered as the maiden spoke to him. "You kidnapped a human and drugged them?" He asked the two Scarlet Elves. "That is so like your cult."

"She came to us; we knew she was Aurtulia in mortal flesh." The two elves said, eerily, in perfect synch. Their voices creaked with old age and an ageless evil that filled every wrinkle in their body. "We awakened her mind and prepared the body."

"I'm really not interested." Zixoc muttered. He noticed a small, red jewel had been placed in 'Aurtulia's' helmet, right in the middle of the forehead. He could tell it was the Scarlet Elves' artifact, but said nothing.

Next to come in was a brown-haired, sad-looking man who looked to be eighteen. He was shirtless, revealing a muscular yet scar-covered torso, and wore a pair of pantaloons made from deer-flesh. He wore a strange piece of metal around his neck and had a black, onyx gauntlet on his left hand. He took a seat at the very end of the table and rested his head on it.

"Amelia… how could you?" He asked someone unseen. "She doesn't even know I'm alive… I have no reason to live…"

"I take it life isn't treating you very well, Emil." Circe said to the man, a small smile on her face. She knew that Zixoc would be oblivious if she sought other pleasures. "Perhaps I should speak with you in priva—."

The man, Emil, lifted his head and gave Circe a death-stare. His eyes had become yellow, like a wolf's. "This is none of your concern, witch!" He roared. "What do _you_ know about matters of the heart?!"

"Why're you so upset?" Holg asked.

Emil sighed sadly. "Fate is a cruel mistress, my Ogre friend. I, alas, have powerful feelings for a lady by the name of—."

Holg roared in his barbaric language yet again. "STOP TALKIN'!" He ordered. "You're so borin'! I don't got da patients for dat!" "Er… 'the patients'?" "Yeah, ya know! Patients! Like what ya use to wait."

Two men entered the room, both of them almost identical. One wore very thick clothing lined with some kind of white fur. He carried a staff with a large, ape-like skull placed on top. He had black hair and a goatee.

The other man had the same face and hair, though he wore a pair of boots, red, padded clothes, gloves, and had several bottles strapped to his belt. The two men took seats opposite each other, glaring at each other with hatred in their eyes. There was a long silence between the two until the man in red muttered the first word.

"Weakling."

"What did you call me, Walter?!" The man with the goatee yelled, standing up from his set. "You're the weak one; conforming to your alchemy!"

The man in red—Walter—was emotionless in his response. "Well, at least I'm strong enough to nod hide behind those giant flea bags you associate with." He chuckled. "Do you see where your magic has gotten you, Arnald? I rule one of the greatest kingdoms in the world and you're hiding in the snow like a rabbit."

"You cut down my cherry tree when we were young!" Arnald yelled furiously. "I already told you, brother, father cut down the tree." Walter explained. "Do you see how stupid you are?"

"This happens every time we hold a meeting." Emil muttered. He was suffering the most, as Arnald was sitting one seat away from him. "Why do you two hate each other so much?"

"I'd hold my tongue if I were you, Emil."

A man in his late twenties had suddenly appeared on the table. He wore a black outfit with a strange cloak of crows' feathers coming from his shoulders. A sword was strapped to his belt and he wore a black earring.

"If two brothers wish to end the other's life, so be it." The man mocked as he walked down the table until he reached a chair across from Holg, jumped down, and took a seat. "Pity that Bloodroot and Gaping Jaw couldn't be here to see the double-funeral, but they're quite busy."

Arnald sat back down but refused to look his brother in the eye. "I've heard that Patches won't be attending this meeting either. Seems Demogath needs to be more forceful in his invitations."

After Arnald had said this, the shadows in the room seemed to shimmer. A humanoid shadow, free from walls or floors, emerged from the ground and took the seat at the head of the table.

"_**Patches has been sent on an urgent quest**_." A voice hissed from within the shadow. "_**And, Ivan, I would appreciate it if you did not spur fights in your fellow council members.**_"

The man in the feather cape laughed. "I apologize, Lord Demogath, but I'm merely excited at not being the new guy anymore."

"Yeah, you can excited later." Holg scoffed. "Why's we here again? It'd better be 'bout me dad's lookin' for da crown."

"_**The reason we are gathered here is very important.**_" The shadow responded. "_**The planes are aligned; the time is right to release of the Queen of Hives.**_"

"The goddess of swarms will soon be released?" Aurtulia asked. "This is an exciting event, Lrul."

"_**Don't call me that; I dropped that name long ago. I'm simply Demogath now.**_" The shadow hissed. "_**I took the name of the chaos from before the world began; simple, is it not? Until Betulorat is here again, I refuse to go by my human name.**_"

"So, when your goddess arrives, we shall receive what we deserve?" Emil asked the shadow.

An eerie laugh emerged from the shadow as it faded a bit. "_**My plans are far greater than simply releasing the Queen of Hives…**_"

* * *

Author's Notes_: This short little chapter kind of sucked, in my opinion. Well, the next one will be better._

Next Time: Die Ankunft Wolf


	7. Die Ankunft Wolf

Die Ankunft Wolf

**Die Ankunft Wolf**

_Author's Notes: Here it is; after this, I go back to writing PsychoEd. Yay! This chapter will start off our heroes' quest and also begin the first story arc. You ready? No? Good! Here it comes!_

**The non-reviewers are a lie.**

* * *

Ed opened his eyes tiredly and sat up. He had been lying on a mat in the backroom of the Bat's Path School all night but, after two months, he was pretty used to it. He yawned and stood up and began his daily ritual of having a staring contest with the wooden door in front of him.

To Ed's surprise, the wooden door blinked. Or, to be more appropriate, it was opened by Qi. The Naga wasn't wearing his vest that morning.

"Are you ready to start your quest, idiot?" Qi asked. "Some of the king's guards are waiting outside to escort you to the palace."

"All the king's horses and all the king's men?" Ed asked hopefully.

"No such luck." Qi responded. "All of your stuff's been packed, and I can see that you still haven't taken off your training outfit, so I'd say it's about time for you to go."

"What about breakfast?" Ed asked. "There are bound to be taverns and the like scattered about." Qi answered nonchalantly. "You can get your food and drink there. The king's going to give you plenty of gold."

"I sure do love mold!" Ed exclaimed as Qi led him through the door and into the training room, where a few students had begun training already.

Qi pointed to a backpack and a pair of nunchaku sitting near the door. "Everything you need is over there. There's a tent, sleeping bag, and other items you may need. I want you to practice with the nunchaku every day, understand?"

Ed smiled widely and grabbed the items his teacher had prepared for him. He happily walked out the front door and, once outside, found several knights waiting for him.

"You are the Destined One Ed?" One knight asked, his helmet covering his entire face. "Your fellow Destined Ones await you at the city gate."

"Mom's home?" Ed asked.

Two of the knights grabbed Ed forcefully. "Our king has asked us to escort you to the gate." The knight whom Ed had named Chicken explained. "We will drag you, if necessary."

"Nope; I don't smoke." Ed responded. "I am fond of chickens, though! Chickens are why God invented eggs!"

The knights dragged Ed down the road as he continued to rant about chickens. After several minutes, they arrived at a giant pair of wooden doors in the wall surrounding the town. Double D, Kevin, and Eddy awaited them.

"Open up the gates! The Destined Ones are prepared to begin their quest!" Chicken yelled as the knights dropped Ed and marched off.

"Clarence?" A male voice asked from behind the gate. "Is that you, Clarence?" "Oh… Theodor." Chicken realized awkwardly. "I didn't know you were guarding the gates today. Look, I'm sorry about—."

"I already told you, Clarence! It's over!" Theodor yelled. "I told you to never talk to me again!" "But I love you!" "That's not good enough, Clarence! That's not good enough!"

Chicken ran away, almost crying. "That was weird." Eddy muttered. "Usually ex-couples don't fight until after mid-morning… or so my brother tells me."

"Look, do you want to get started on the quest or not?" Kevin asked angrily. He walked up to the gate and knocked on them loudly.

"I already told you to leave, Clarence!" Theodor yelled.

"I'm Kevin." Kevin corrected. "I'm a knight in the king's service. Me and some friends need to get through."

"Kevin, eh? How tall are you?" "What? Just shut up and open the gates!" Kevin ordered.

There was a sound of gears creaking together and ropes being pulled, and the wooden gate opened. Theodor wore a suit of chainmail with a red sunrise on the breastplate. He had brown hair, brown eyes, and a scar going down the side of his face.

"Oh, you're adventurers!" Theodor realized cheerfully. "I sell discount swords to adventurers! And they might not be stolen, even!"

"I'm sure your parents must be proud, Theo." Kevin said sarcastically as the four teenagers walked through the gate. They continued walking down the path, leaving Theodor alone as he closed the gate.

"At least I don't have something living in my chin…" He muttered to himself. "Short little bastard…"

* * *

MEANWHILE…

"Listen, your majesty, we have come from another plane to battle great evils!" One of the Destined Ones yelled at King Lawrence. He and three other warriors in gold and silver armor had appeared from nowhere just a few minutes ago.

"The four of us were spawned from the Plane of Mana." A warrior with a magic staff explained. "We are not living beings as you know them; we have been born to fulfill the destiny of defeating the Council."

The king scoffed. "You can't be the Destined Ones; I already decided that those other four are the Destined Ones." He explained as guards entered the throne-room. "There will be no contradicting the king! Think about that in the dungeons."

The guards dragged the 4 Destined Ones away as the king sat in his throne proudly. "I'm a good person."

* * *

ON THE ROAD AGAIN…

"My legs hurt." Eddy whined. They had been following the road for an hour straight and were in the middle of a large field. Tall grass grew to the left and to the right, completely obscuring their sight.

"We'll take a break in a few minutes." Double D said to his friend. "I need to read the spell book Leopold gave to me."

As the four walked down the path, each of them weighted down by bags given to them before the journey began, they saw the grass come to an end a few yards ahead. They hurried up and ran towards the end, though a sudden voice worried them.

"I'm not sure children should be out and about in the open, Rudolph."

A brown-haired man in his twenties stepped out of the tall grass behind them. He wore simple, brown clothes and carried a dagger. An identical man stepped out in front of them, flanking them.

"I agree, Adolph." The man in front of the four agreed. He had a voice that Double D likened to a German accent. "Perhaps they would like some protection from the Legion der Reinheit?"

Double D was shocked to recognize what they said as a German word. "Legion of Purity?" He translated.

"Oh, just a small group that's growing in power." Adolph explained as he drew a short-sword. "The land of Spatzburg is losing its power, and we've decided to reinstate the old ways; get rid of anyone who's not pure. They're the problem, after all."

"That's Nazism!" Double D exclaimed.

"I'm not sure what you just said." Rudolph responded. "Now, give us your gold and we'll protect you on your long journey."

"We don't need any protection." Kevin said stubbornly as Ed stared forward blankly.

"No, my young friend, you don't understand; the payment also protects you from _us_." Adolph threatened. "Quite honestly, you're going to need our help. Once night arrives, those that are truly impure come out."

"Do you mean your mom?" Eddy asked mockingly. Unfortunately, he hit upon a soft spot.

"What are you saying about our mom's?!" Rudolph asked. "Do you think it's funny that we've got two?! Huh, punk?! You're gonna die! Die right here, right now!"

"No need to kill them yet, brother!" Adolph pleaded, trying to calm him down. "The Legion is still small! We need their money to expand!"

"I don't give a shit about money from people who mock our family!" Rudolph responded. "Besides, with all of the raids from those freaks every night, we lose twice the money we earn!"

"There's still no need to kill them." Adolph pointed out. "None of their insults can disgrace our family!"

"Not even if we said that you two would make a nice couple?" Eddy asked.

Adolph angrily gritted his teeth, glaring at Eddy angrily. He thrust his sword into the thief's side, opening up a bloody wound. Eddy staggered back and fell to his knees as he bled, clutching the wound.

"Adolph, you idiot!" Rudolph yelled. For once, he was the voice of reason. "If word gets out what you just did, we could get kicked out of Spatzburg!"

Realization dawned on Adolph as he stared at the bleeding Eddy. Unfortunately, before he could run away from the three young men a filthy, yellow fist found its way to his face.

"Nobody drinks my friend's blood, foul vampire!" Ed yelled as Adolph fell to the ground. "Prepare to be staked by VanHelsing!"

Adolph got up as if nothing had happened. "Don't we know a guy named VanHelsing, Rudolph?" "Yeah. We burned him to death just last month. I believe he was one of… you know. _Them_."

Adolph chuckled as he wiped his blade off on his sleeve. "Won't be long until they're all but rooted out, eh?" He asked, admiring the silver on the blade. He seemed to have forgotten about Ed, Edd, and Kevin. "What spell did you use to destroy the last one? Feuersturm?"

Rudolph smiled wickedly. He tossed his dagger into the ground and began chanting something. In mere seconds, balls of fire flew from the dagger's hilt and into the sky circling above them.

"You're a mage?" Double D asked fearfully. "Don't associate me with your kind!" Rudolph ordered. "I am a sorcerer!"

"Guys…" Eddy said quietly. "I'm still bleeding… God, I think he hit something…"

One of the fireballs crashed down to the ground, dangerously close to Kevin. "These things are difficult to steer by pure force alone." Rudolph observed as the fireballs danced. "Still, if I only miss by a few inches, that's still enough to kill, isn't it?"

"Make this fast, Rudolph." Adolph ordered. "We have a meeting in a little while, remember? The rallies keep getting bigger and it'll look bad if we don't show up."

Rudolph chuckled as he pulled on his collar. "I'll be quick, then." He said. All of the remaining fireballs flew down on the four adventurers, smelling of smoke and burning fur.

Double D's mind raced as he tried to remember some sort of spell to block the fireballs. No avail. Before doom could arrive, however, a miracle happened.

Black, grisly spikes sprung from the ground around the children. The spikes drove through the fireballs, holding them in place as if they were solid objects.

"What in the Abyss is this?!" Rudolph yelled out before Kevin drew his sword and sliced at him.

The man's shirt fell off, revealing three, long scratches on the front of his chest. The scratches looked infected, and the veins surrounding it were red and visible. While it simply disgusted Double D and Kevin, it horrified Adolph.

"You're one of them." He whispered in shock. Rudolph's eyes were nervous and full of fear, as well. "Please… it's not what it looks like, Adolph." Rudolph pleaded. "I'm just infected! I'm not like them!"

Adolph turned tail and ran, leaving his brother behind. Rudolph stared after him sadly before falling to the ground in sobs.

Kevin angrily kicked Rudolph in the side, turning him over. "Mind telling us what just happened?" He asked as he put his sword to Rudolph's throat.

Rudolph's eyes showed a bizarre mixture of despair, rage, and animal bestiality. "Just kill me!" He roared in his sobs. "You had the chance to simply kill me, but instead you've ruined my life forever!"

"Don't tempt me; I'm more than happy to kill you." Kevin bluffed. "Tell us why he freaked out when he saw the scratches on your chest."

"I was clawed by a wolf three months ago!" Rudolph explained sadly, crying. "I should have known; it was a full moon, after all. I thought nothing of it until a month later, on the full moon!"

"Oh, no!" Ed exclaimed, for once being the only one knowing what was going on.

"I was infected by a lycanthropy." Rudolph explained in despair. "The Brother Beasts turned me into a monster."

* * *

Author's Notes: _Sorry this took so long! I haven't been able to write every day like I usually do. Regardless, this introduces the first story arc. Expect to see a familiar face soon…_

Next Time: Bad Wolf


	8. Bad Wolf

Bad Wolf

**Bad Wolf**

_Author's Notes: Yup. The title's definitely a Doctor Who reference. Okay, everyone who can read this (Word), please review telling me what your opinion is on my fan fic. Anyone who can't read it, review anyways._

**Reviews will be used to fix the icing problem.**

* * *

The one guard that stood outside the city gates of Spatzburg yawned tiredly. It was four in the afternoon; the guest of honor wouldn't arrive until seven. The guard stared forward at the path cut through the woods that sat outside Spatzburg. He could hear someone coming.

A man in very heavy cloaks came over the hill. The guard couldn't make out any of his features through the thick rags that covered him. He saw four others come over the hill behind the man. One was short, dressed in a cloak with the hood pulled up. One wore a black hat, an orange robe, and carried a mage's staff. The other two were a red-headed guard in silver-and-red armor and a young man in a sleeveless martial-artist's uniform.

The five travelers approached the guard. "I'm afraid there's a toll to enter the town." The guard said to the travelers. "One silver piece from each of you."

"A silver piece?" The short one repeated in surprise. The others didn't seem as surprised at this. Did they not know the current exchange rate?

"A silver piece is only one-tenth a gold piece." The short one pointed out as he fished in a pouch on his belt for the money. "How's your town get by charging that much?"

"We don't." The guard said harshly as Eddy pulled out a gold coin and handed it to the guard. "We take what we can get from travelers, however little that may be."

"You can keep the change." The mage said sympathetically. His shorter friend turned towards him, shooting him an angry look.

The guard smiled as he put the gold coin in the pouch the tolls were kept in. "Enjoy your stay in Spatzburg."

* * *

ELSEWHERE:

Nevan sat on a grass hill next to a river, staring forward with his eyes. His eyes were strange; one green, one brown, and neither one had pupils. The 19-year-old was shirtless, wearing a dirty pair of brown pants.

"Nevan, how long are you going to stare at the clouds?" A familiar voice asked. A handsome, black-haired man wearing full-plate armor and riding a black horse rode up behind the young man. The man was accompanied by a red-haired young squire in a khaki tunic.

"I'm trying to lose all of my sanity." Nevan answered as he continued to stare forward. "No matter how hard I try, I still always have a brilliant, logical mind. It's like a curse, really. But a good one."

"Well, we'd better get a move on if we're to get to Spatzburg by seven." The knight reminded his young friend. "They want their problem taken care of."

"Sir Bruce, I could care less about the problems of a few villages when there's a life to live." Nevan said distantly as he stood up. That's how he always spoke; clam, distant, and the illusion of both emotion and emotionlessness.

It freaked most people out. Only people who weren't there when he spoke were immune to it.

"Nevan, you're my sorcerer; if you don't come along, I'll have to knock you out and carry you." Bruce reminded Nevan.

"Yes, well, I'm kind of heavy. All of these spell components I've got—." "You're a sorcerer. You don't use spell components." "That doesn't mean I might not need them."

Sir Bruce found he couldn't argue with this.

* * *

SPATZBURG:

Ed, Edd, Kevin, and Eddy stared at the buildings of Spatzburg with a certain disappointment. They were small and wooden and shabby, unlike the stone buildings of Red River. On a hill overlooking the town was a castle, though smaller than the king's.

"That is the home of Baron Gilbert." The man covered in rags said to them. He was Rudolph; one of the twins who had tried to rob them and who had been disgraced in front of his brother. "There are three inns at various points in the city, taverns where you can find food, and a blacksmith's. There's also the Slayer's Guild in the upper part of town."

Double D smiled at the young man awkwardly. "Thank you for leading us into town, Rudolph. I hope you find a cure for your affliction."

Rudolph jerked suddenly, as if he was about to attack Double D for what he said. The four didn't detect this, however, and merely mistook it for a spasm caused by his disease.

"There's no need to thank me." Rudolph said coldly. "This town's dead one way or another."

The four teenagers stared at Rudolph in shock as he turned and walked away. They had no idea where he was going. He probably didn't either.

"So, now that Hitler Jr. is gone, what should we do?" Eddy asked, completely ruining the ominous mood Rudolph had left behind.

"Well… I suppose we should go get some food." Double D thought out loud. "Then, perhaps we can purchase some supplies."

"Yay! Some plies!" Ed exclaimed happily and incorrectly.

"I've got a question, though." Kevin said to Double D. "Remember, when Rudolph started crying he said he had some disease called lycanthropy? What is that?"

Double D closed his eyes thoughtfully, thinking back to the books he had read on medieval times. "People believed lycanthropes were creatures like werewolves." He answered. "They mistook certain diseases for it and killed anyone who they thought was a werewolf—like the witch trials. People who were disfigured were the most common target."

"So a wolf bit him and he's a werewolf?" Eddy deducted.

"Most likely it's a case of rabies. But it's still possible, considering some of the things we've seen." Double D tapped his staff on the ground thoughtfully. "We might want to investigate into this…"

Kevin shook his head. "Don't we have a job to do? The Fiendish 13 or whatever they're called?"

"They could be connected for all we know." Double D pointed out. "Besides, if there really are werewolves, I'd like to study their condition."

"Mostly if it's a girl?" Eddy asked inquisitively.

Double D's eyes widened in shock at Eddy's joke. "What? No! No—." "Oh, right. You're not like that." "EDDY!" "Sorry, sorry. No more jokes."

With a certain amount of awkwardness, the four walked through the town in search of one of the taverns Rudolph had told them about. After a few minutes of walking, they came upon a medium-sized, wooden building with a sign dubbing it 'THE ELVEN FOX'.

The four entered to find it mostly empty, save for the tavern-keeper and four customers. Despite it being afternoon, there were still some candles lit; there had to be. No electricity to lighten up the patches that light from windows couldn't reach.

The teenagers approached the bar where the tavern-keeper and some barrels of ale stood. The tavern-keeper eyed them curiously; it wasn't often you saw people dressed like that. Unless it was in Frontport.

"You gentlemen from Frontport?" The tavern-keeper asked. He couldn't help it; the town had been on his mind. "It's a nice town. Hear the lord there's very nice; keeps the streets cleans, and such. Near the ocean, too; I'd like to—."

Eddy pounded his hands on the table furiously. "Look, we're hungry here!" He exclaimed. "What kind of food do you have?"

"Oh, well, the edible kind, sir." The tavern-keeper answered. "Wouldn't do us much good to carry any other kind, would it?"

Kevin and Eddy looked at each other with a look that seemed to say, 'As much as I dislike you, I have to congratulate you on managing to not be this tavern-keeper'.

A sudden scream from outside interrupted what would hopefully have been a non-violent lunch. The four rushed outside to see an orange-haired man with a large sack. The man dressed very plainly and carried no weapons. Of course, the sign that he was dangerous was that the bag was screaming…

Kevin chased after the man, but found that the man was disturbingly quick. The others chased after Kevin, hoping to help the young guard in some way. The man with the sack didn't slow down, like an ordinary human should. Their chase led them to the city gates, where the man was trying to escape.

With surprising foresight, Ed got down on all fours and flung himself forward with his arms. He hit the kidnapper, knocking him to the ground and knocking the sack out of his hands.

Double D stopped, his lungs on fire. What's more, the bite on his left hands felt as if it was on fire; stabbing, pointy fire. He dropped his staff as he panted.

Ed got off of the kidnapper, who didn't even bother to stand up. He was lying completely still, unconscious. A thick, grassy smell filled the air and radiated from the kidnapper.

"What in hell just happened?!" The guard asked as he stepped away from his post and approached the four. He sniffed the air in disgust. "What's that smell?"

Eddy walked up to the squirming, wriggling sack that the man had been carrying and cut it open with his knife. An average-sized, red-haired girl in peasant's clothes crawled out. She dusted herself off painfully. One of her ears was pierced with a solid-gold earring. The four teenagers stared at her in shock.

"Sarah?!"

The girl looked at them in a confused yet thankful expression. "I'm sorry… my name is Jenell." She explained. "I have a servant named Sarah, however. She's very old; and blind; and a man."

Eddy looked at the girl, Jenell, with some thought. "No, wait, she can't be Sarah." He pointed out. "I mean, yeah, she kinda looks like her… but the mouth's too small and she's got bigger—."

"Lady Jenell!" The guard exclaimed in an unsurprised shock. "You were kidnapped, even in the peasant's disguise?"

"It's not a very good disguise if father made me keep the earring." Jenell pointed out to the guard. "Besides, that kidnapper knew what I looked like. A simple change of clothes won't throw them off of my trail."

The guard nodded and sighed. "Well, I don't think this one'll be giving you any more trouble. That smell's definitely Blutwurzel; he must have swallowed it just as he was knocked down. Pity, though; now we can't interrogate him."

Double D picked his staff up and approached the kidnapper. He tapped him several times with the staff, but got no reaction. Finally, he turned the kidnapper over with his staff. The glassy look in the man's eyes and his limp body said everything.

"He killed himself." Kevin said in shock.

"This is the second time someone's tried to kidnap me this week." Jenell said worriedly. She bit her lip. "Who could possibly be behind them?"

The guard gave Jenell a cold, cynical look. "The Brother Beasts? The Legion der Reinheit? With all due respect, milady, Spatzburg is dead one way or the other."

* * *

SPATZBURG CASTLE:

Baron Gilbert stared at the assassin in a way people don't stare at most assassins. The assassin sat leisurely in the baron's chair, at the baron's desk, with his feet up on the desk. He was dressed exactly like a palace guard. However, most disturbing was that he looked exactly like the baron.

"Baron, I assure you I'm not here to kill you." The assassin said to the shocked baron. "Lord Zanipolo has given me very specific instructions, and my next meal is, as always, riding on it. Do you have any brandy?"

"You're Mr. X, right?" Gilbert asked. "You're Zanipolo's secret police in Frontport."

"Mr. X retired." The assassin explained. "I'm his apprentice: Mr. Y."

The way he said it, Gilbert could actually hear the colon separating the words.

Without waiting for the baron to answer his question about the brandy, Mr. Y opened a shelf in the desk and produced a bottle of brandy and two small glasses.

"I know all about you, my lord." He said as he poured the drinks. "I know you sometimes sneak a drink while you're working; I know you love visitors, so you always keep the kitchen stocked; and I know you have a secret room beneath the library where you secretly worship Elf gods."

Mr. Y poured the baron's drink and handed it to him. The baron took it and eyed the assassin suspiciously. "You seem to have a lot of free time on your hands; are you single?"

"No, worse. I'm married."

Gilbert laughed. "So, why does Zanipolo want to speak to me?" He asked the assassin.

Mr. Y downed his brandy in almost one gulp. Gilbert, seeing this, quickly drank his. Mr. Y poured them both more drinks, smiling inside.

"My Lord realizes that there has been a recent outbreak of lycanthropy in your town." Mr. Y explained as Gilbert drank his brandy. "Are your Slayers not doing their jobs?"

Gilbert gave a loud hiccup before he answered. "Well, we're trying our best, but we can't find out where they're hiding. The people fear them, Mr. Y; they kill them as soon as they find out they've been infected, either that or run 'em out of town."

Mr. Y poured Gilbert another glass, which he happily accepted. "So, as of yet, nobody's been able to control their infections?"

Gilbert quickly drank his brandy, the other drinks making him crave more. "No, no… not yet, as such. Really, the best we can hope for is that they're clever enough to not get bitten, know what I mean?"

Mr. Y chuckled as Gilbert poured himself another drink. He didn't realize that Mr. Y hadn't even started drinking his second glass. The secret to this kind of work was to get the person drunk; that would be easy enough, if you finished your drink before them. Sparked a certain competitive drive between males.

"I also hear that your daughter's almost been kidnapped a few times?" Mr. Y asked the drunken baron as he downed his brandy. "Any idea by whom?"

"No, no… sorry, there, but all we know is they're local…" Gilbert explained as he swooned. "Why do we have to talk about this? We're friends, ain't we? Let's go out! Spatzburg's beer is always the best!"

Mr. Y skillfully pulled an iron flask out of the drawer and poured it into the baron's now-empty glass. The contents were golden, and fizzed just like beer. The baron happily took it and downed it before quickly falling unconscious.

"It's amazing how a drunken person can assume something that looks and sounds but doesn't smell like beer is beer, isn't it?" Mr. Y asked as he put the flask back in his armor, where it belonged. "When you wake up, all of the alcohol you consumed in the last twenty-four hours will exit your body. Not a pleasant process, I can tell you."

The assassin took his still-full glass of brandy and drank it. His own reward for a mission well-done. He had extracted the information needed from the baron and had even learned something new.

The assassin calmly walked out of the office and waited for the elixir to take its course.

* * *

SPATZBURG—7:00 PM:

As the sun began to set on the town of Spatzburg, a knight on horseback rode in through the city-gates. He was accompanied by a red-haired, shirtless, skinny man with odd eyes and a squire.

Crowds had gathered on the sides of the street to watch as the knight rode in. Sir Bruce de la Marcelato, the most famous knight from the town of Marcelato, had been called by Mayor Von Spatzburg himself to deal with the lycanthrope problem.

After all, the Slayers weren't doing anything.

Bruce rode to the center of town, where six people were watching him from inside the crowd. Bruce smiled accordingly as he put on his most heroic voice. It was show time.

"Good people of Spatzburg!" Always start off with a compliment. That's how a public address needs to be. "Your days of suffering are at hand; I, Sir Bruce of Marcelato, am here to put your suffering to an end!" Always put extra force when calling yourself 'Sir'; it reminded everyone you were a knight.

"I, and my sorcerer assistant Nevan," Remind them you have a sorcerer; it instills confidence, "will march into the woods where these vicious beasts live and put an end to them!" Always insult the enemy. It reminded the crowd that you were better than them.

The crowd was going crazy. Now, all that remained was to raise your weapon into the air and declare something triumphantly.

Sir Bruce followed the final step and held his sword up. "Tonight, these monsters di—!"

At that moment, right before he could say a complete word, one of the spectators snapped.

The man pushed his way through the crowd, shoving women and children aside as he made his way towards the knight. He wore simple clothes, perfect for not standing out, and had a piece of white rock hanging around his neck.

He had a knife.

Nevan pointed a hand at the man and fired a blast of pure, magical energy. The blast hit the man head-on, knocking him down. The blast didn't stop the man from standing up and continuing his charge.

"Some sort of natural, magical resistance." Nevan realized as both of his hands glowed with a yellow magic. He smashed them together, causing the yellow aura to expand over everything, bathing the people in differently colored auras.

"His aura's brown." Nevan observed as he fired another blast at the man, knocking him down yet again. "I'd say it's about a size 3; no magical experience, but he's carrying something magical on him. The stone, most-like—."

"Would you stop talking and finish him?" Bruce ordered as the man jumped back up. He wasn't even slightly dazed. The fact that his necklace was glowing might have been good, though.

Nevan snapped his tongue angrily. "This isn't good. My Magic Detection spell indicates that his aura's growing. My spells are completely useless; he seems to be absorbing them. What should I try now? Perhaps I should attempt a more indirect s—."

Before he could finish his conversation with himself, the man jumped on top of him. Nevan was knocked to the ground as the man grabbed his neck. The stone began to grow even brighter.

His eyes were completely black.

"XOULODJ!"

With the cry of a mage's spell, a thunderbolt flew from the crowd and hit the man, knocking him off. Four more spectators, each one garbed differently, had emerged from the crowd. One of them was a Mage, wielding a staff and spellbook.

The man stood up from the blast, still unscathed. His white rock was now blinding. The light then seemed to move from the rock to the man, like a transfer of magic.

"Two legs bad, four legs good."

Hair began sprouting from every pore of the man's body. He grew in size, ripping his clothes off as his body twisted and contorted. His face and nose stretched out, and two long tusks grew from his mouth. The man crouched over, like a predator.

"What the hell is that thing?" The young man in Red River guard armor asked.

"A Wereboar? Natural, by the looks of it. What should I do now? Hmm… his necklace has been torn off, as well. I can probably use my spells against him now." Nevan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Still, I don't know if that stone had any other affects on him…"

The other four didn't stop to talk to themselves however. One of them, dressed in a black, sleeveless outfit, attacked the Wereboar head-on. He had no weapons, choosing to attack with his fists.

This method proved quite inefficient.

The Wereboar grabbed the young man's arm in mid-punch. The best swung him over his head and slammed him into the ground with a sickening thud. The creature laughed mockingly in a deep, guttural voice.

"_Weak; flesh; little muscle beneath the skin. Even being bitten by one of us is not enough to liberate the weaker species; you are weak in every way. Unfit to crawl in the mud of the world._"

By now, the crowd was running away screaming. Only one person had been defiant enough to stay; Lady Jenell, the daughter of Baron Gilbert Von Spatzburg. Nevan had no idea why the beautiful young woman had decided to stay where she was. Wasn't she afraid of these creatures?

The mage pointed his staff at the Wereboar, preparing another low-level spell. Electricity gathered around his staff as he cried out the spell's name and fired a ball of lightning at the lycanthrope.

The spell bounced off of the Wereboar's pelt. With a roar, the Wereboar charged at the mage, who barely managed to avoid it.

Predictable. Wizards were all flash, no substance.

Sir Bruce turned his horse towards the Wereboar, who was turning around to attack again. "Nevan, what are this creature's weaknesses?"

"Silver, Sir Bruce." Nevan answered nonchalantly. "That or just about any plant blessed by the god Yybell; wolfsbane, endroot, and Yybell-moss are all extremely potent. I suggest you use that silver sword that the old count of Draculvania gave you."

Sir Bruce nodded as the Wereboar stared them down angrily. His human mind seemed to be dampened with bestial fury; he most-likely wanted to simply rip Sir Bruce limb from limb.

"What is your name?" Sir Bruce asked as Nevan reached into a bag tied to his belt.

The creature snorted at the knight's question as the martial artist stood back up. His rips were most-likely broken. "_Lamar. Lamar Boar-Tusk._"

Nevan suddenly pulled a large, silver greatsword from the bag and handed it to Sir Bruce. "Well, Lamar, I hope you've made out a will."

Lamar snorted mockingly. This human planned to kill him? "_If I feared death, I wouldn't have come here in the first place, Your Majesty._"

Sir Bruce nearly dropped his sword in shock. Majesty…?

"_I am the First Brother of the Brother Beast's leader._" Lamar continued knowingly. "_If you kill me, you will call down the Brother Beast's wrath upon this sickening town._"

"Why did you call me 'Majesty'?!" Sir Bruce asked angrily. "Answer my question before I run you through!"

Lamar laughed at Bruch wickedly. "_But I know who you really are, _Sir_ Bruce. We did our research before you same to Spatzburg._"

Bruce felt the mage, boy in the hood, and boy in armor look at him. He scowled angrily. "Leave town now!" He ordered loudly. "I wouldn't hesitate to kill you!"

"_How easy it is to lie, hmm?_" Lamar asked as he began backing away. "_I'll leave the town; no more business, Sir Bruce._"

Slowly, the Wereboar turned until he faced Jenell. If a boar could smile, he would. "_My brother sends his love, human._"

* * *

Author's Notes: _Confusing? Good. Now you'll _have_ to read the next chapter! Wanna find out who the leader of the BB is? Read the next chapter! Wanna find out who the Slayers are? RTNC! Wanna find out more about lycanthropes?_ _Lesen Sie das folgende Kapitel!_

Next Time: The Boys Who Cried Wolf


	9. The Boys Who Cried Wolf

The Boys Who Cried Wolf

**The Boys Who Cried Wolf**

_Author's Notes: Two in a row? Yeah, I'm just not excited enough to write a chapter for Doctor Ed. Oh, well. I'll do it eventually. Now, get ready for some interesting surprises in this chapter, my dawgs…_

**Give a man a review and you'll make him happy once. **_**Teach**_** a man to review, and you make me very, very happy.**

* * *

The sun rose over the forest. Nobody forgot what had happened last night. Not even the person who did it.

Lamar Boar-Tusk walked through the forest naked, furless, and ready to fall asleep on a preferably soft pile of moss. Lamar calmly scratched a large, red rash on his chest before reaching a large, ominous cave. Two wolves slept on the left and right of the cave's mouth, ready to pounce on any human who dared to enter.

Originally, Lamar believed you had to kill the wolves to enter the cave. He had learned a few years ago that they were trained to allow lycanthropes through. That didn't stop him from killing them every now and then, though.

The lycanthrope calmly walked into the cave's entrance. The wolves didn't even stir at his approach. Lamar began to walk down the declining path that led to the lair of the Brother Beasts.

With a loud thud, Lamar realized this wasn't going to happen. He had come to a sturdy, stone door blocking the entrance to the lair. Disgusted, Lamar looked closer to find a piece of parchment with writing had been attached to the door.

—_Gone to town to survey situation. Rattrap hasn't reported back yet. Make sure you don't try to smash the door in. Last time you did that, the magic caused an explosion that almost gave us all away._

Below the scratchy writing was the symbol of the Brother Beasts; an inverted wolf's paw print made with the red juice of a special berry.

It sickened Lamar.

They would go to the _human_ village? Just to look for that idiot _Rattrap_? And they had left a _note_?

Lamar realized with disgust that their leader was becoming weak. Something had to be done.

* * *

SPATZBURG:

Father Volker Urban sat in his office peacefully. It hadn't been a busy day in the Moon's Church of Yybell. Papers covered the old man's desk, holy books and books on various creatures' anatomy keeping them anchored down.

The oak door to Urban's study was opened by a dark-skinned thirty-year-old. He wore the brown, thick, leather armor of the Yybell clergy. He wore a wide-brimmed hat on his head with the symbol of Yybell, a single eye, sewn onto the brim.

"I take it I have visitors, John?" Urban asked the man. The cleric, Mute John, nodded quietly.

"How many, my son?" Urban asked as he sat up.

Mute John held up six fingers.

"I see." Urban said as he stroked his beard. "Hmm… John, I seem to have forgotten vhat day it is."

"Ashday, Father." Muter John answered. He covered his mouth quickly, realizing his mistake.

"I knew it!" Urban exclaimed as he pointed an accusatory finger at Mute John. "I knew you veren't really mute, I knew it! Trying to fool us vith zhat 'Mute John' trash… Ha!"

"Forgive me, father, but there were already four other John's in the priesthood." Not-Quite-Mute John apologized. "I needed to have a way to stand out."

"You're the only John from Tameri! We could have called you John of Tameri!"

"If it's all the same to you, Father, I would appreciate it if everyone continued to call me 'Mute John'." Not-Quite-Mute John said to Urban.

Urban sighed as he sat back down at his desk. "You're not fooling anyvon, you know." He said. "Just go out there and bring in my visitors, would you?"

Not-Quite-Mute John said nothing at Father Urban's sudden disappearing accent. He instead left the father's office to get the six guests.

Urban sighed as he picked up a book on vampirism. The gods gave special powers to those who worshipped them. Yybell, the god of the night and of judgment, endowed his followers with the knowledge necessary to slay unholy beasts.

In many circles, the clerics of Yybell were called Slayers.

* * *

SIR BRUCE OPENED the door to Urban's office. He, Nevan, Double D, Kevin, Eddy, and Ed entered the office one after another. Double D noticed that Kevin seemed a bit on-edge.

Urban, an old man in brown and gold, sat down at a desk surrounded by bookshelves. It reminded Double D strangely of Dean Snagaplakdangletripper's office.

"You're the young men who fought off the Wereboar last night?" Urban asked. When the group nodded together, he smiled. "Good, good, good. We vill answer any questions you have about ze were—verecreatures."

Eddy stared at Urban. Was he faking his accent?

"We wish to know what that stone around his neck was." Sir Bruce explained. "It seemed to trigger a transformation automatically."

Urban nodded solemnly. "It's lucky he left it behind, eh? We're not quite sure what it is, but it seems to have the same magical powers of the full moon."

"Yes; that's exactly as I predicted." Nevan confirmed. His eyes made it hard to tell if he was telling the truth or not. "Normally, it takes great anger or the magic of the moon to transform them."

"Oh, yeah." Eddy muttered. "He sure didn't seem angry to _me_."

Urban stared forward at the group calmly. "We haven't been able to do much against them, I'm afraid. I fear zhat the church of Yybell may have a spy."

Double D looked at Urban. He was almost _positive_ that Urban was faking one of his accents. "How is the spy affecting you?" He asked the holy figure.

Urban's face seemed to become angry at the mere remembrance of what had happened. "Four times in ze past two months our sacred altar to Yybell was defaced. There were claw marks all over His sacred visage, His hand was nearly broken off… it was disgusting."

Nevan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Any idea who it might be?"

"Vell, a few months ago a foreigner arrived at our church." Urban answered. "The accidents started a week later. I'm almost positive that she's an agent of the Brother Beasts."

"Brother Beast is my favorite X-Man." Ed said with a smile. "He's like a big, blue chicken."

"The Brother Beasts are no men." Urban corrected sternly. "They are lycanthropes; verecreatures zhat are unholy. They despise all things of man and wish—vish to destroy them."

The same thought ran through the 3.4 minds of the 'Destined' Ones; the Brother Beasts were somehow connected to the Council of 13.

Well, in Ed's case it didn't really run; more like it casually strolled.

The door opened once again, and a girl entered the already-crowded room. She was fairly tanned, had long, black, curly hair, and—Eddy and Double D were quick to notice this—fairly well-formed. The brown armor of an Yybell cleric did little to hide this.

"What is it, Donna?" Urban asked the girl.

"Father, Baron Gilbert has requested that a cleric be sent to protect his daughter." Donna answered calmly. "With all of the kidnapping attempts, he wants her to be as safe as possible."

Urban sighed irritably. "Send the new member to look after her." He ordered. "Also, send… uh, Mute John to spy on zhem. I'm almost certain zhat she's zhe spy."

Donna nodded calmly. "I'll make sure to inform them both, Father."

"Excellent." Urban smiled cheerily. "Now, Donna, your brother has a message for you—"

The room suddenly filled with artificial darkness. There were exclamations of confusion from Eddy and Kevin, the sound of someone being hit, a scraping noise, and Double D was almost certain he felt someone's hand on his face.

When the darkness cleared, Donna had been pushed to the ground and the door was wide open. Urban's desk had been toppled and the Father lay on the floor.

"They took ze rock!" He exclaimed. "Zhey took the rock!"

* * *

SEVERAL HOURS LATER, on the other side of town, a black gauntlet reached into a hole in a tree and pulled out a silver rock on a string. The figure wearing the black gauntlet was shirtless, brown-haired, and muscular yet covered in scars.

Emil of the Council of 13.

Emil smiled as he pocketed the rock. The spy had done well to get this back. Couldn't have humans knowing the secrets of the Brother Beasts, could he? The young man sighed heavily. His soul still felt hollow.

"Amelia…" he sighed sadly. He had seen her in town and had almost fallen in love at first sight. That was pretty much how it was with the poetic. And werewolves. But he liked to think it was mostly his poetic soul.

Of course, he had never actually spoken to Amelia. He didn't even know here real name; he just called her Amelia. He had tried to get her attention a few times, but it didn't seem to work very well.

As Emil leaned against the tree sadly, he saw many yards away a girl with red hair. Was that Amelia? He was almost sure it was; he had seen her enough times before to recognize her from a mile away.

With great excitement, he ran up to her as quickly as possible.

* * *

THE BLACK-HAIRED 16-year-old struggled under the weight of the large pot of incense he was carrying on his back. The incense could be used to craft a summoning circle for spells or for contacting one's gods.

The young man wore a sleeveless, khaki tunic and matching pants. His eyes were bright, striking green. His black hair was long and went down to his shoulders. And he was ill-suited to carry a 60-pound pot of incense.

Just as the young man felt he was about to fall, he felt someone even out the back, holding it up. "Do you need a hand?" A deep, foreign voice asked.

"Yes, thanks." The pot-carrier thanked as he and the stranger continued carrying the pot towards the city gate, quite some way away. "My name is Manfred."

"I'm Kevin." The person behind him introduced. "What's inside this pot, anyways?"

"Magical incense." Manfred explained. "We were running low on it. _Really_ low, apparently. Don't see why we need the powdered remains of golems; the stuff is so damned expensive when eye of newt is just as effective."

He could hear Kevin grunting as he struggled with the weight of the pot. "You can leave if you want to." Manfred said calmly. "I'm getting a second wind."

Manfred felt Kevin let go of the pot. He saw a young man in red and silver armor run out in front of him. "Thanks; I need to talk to the dorks I'm travelling with, anyways."

The young man ran off, leaving Manfred not-quite-alone.

"Do you need a hand, Brother?" A familiar voice asked. The weight of the pot greatly decreased as someone behind him practically lifted it off of Manfred's shoulders.

"Thank you, Lamar." Manfred thanked with a tired smile. He couldn't see the muscular giant, but he knew he'd be heavily disguised. "I've heard rumors about what you did here last night. It was—"

"Impressive?" "Brutal." Manfred sighed. "Emil wanted you to bring that girl he fancies back to the Brotherden."

Lamar grunted angrily. "If Emil wants this girl so badly, he shouldn't have a room made for her in the den. If you ask me, he should just capture her and use her when he wants to. That's how we breed."

Manfred shook his head and chuckled. "Emil is very complex, Lamar. He's an artist."

"He's let human books and philosophies get to his head." Lamar grunted. "He's been that way since we were young. When my father led the Brother Beasts, we would attack any humans or caravan that made its way through our territory. Now, we're lucky if Emil lets us attack one."

Manfred grinned. "Upset that your father gave Supremacy to Emil?"

Lamar gritted his teeth. "I'm starting to think Emil's too human."

* * *

EMIL HID IN AN alleyway just beyond the girl's line of sight. He hadn't had the guts to speak with her. How could he confess his love if—wait… what if he used the gauntlet's power?

Before he could decide to do this, however, 'Amelia' began walking past his alleyway.

Not sure what he was doing, Emil grabbed her and pulled her into the alleyway. She seemed afraid—Emil wasn't sure why until a later date—and the fact the she had a sword tied to her dress didn't even register with Emil.

"Hello, miss." He said as friendly as he could manage. Was friendly to humans different from friendly with his kind? He decided to simply stick with what he knew. "Please do not be alarmed. I simply wish to speak with you."

'Amelia' stared at Emil in mix confusion and horror. "Who are you?"

"I am Emil." Emil answered with a smile. "Emil Great-Wolf— the leader of the Brother Beasts."

The girl's expression shifted more towards horror. "Y-You're a lycanthrope?"

Emil nodded proudly. "I am merely in my human form. The form I was born in will emerge tonight. I prefer that form; the human flesh is too hairless."

The girl's mouth closed a bit. She seemed to be getting over her initial horror and realizing that Emil meant her no harm. "Your kind dislikes humans?" She asked.

Emil was shocked; didn't the humans know? "Two-legs are the oppressors of all of Vulpynne's creatures! All disasters that befall the Two-legs are the work of our god and his Star-Creatures!"

"The god of animals doesn't hate humans." The girl said.

"All animals hate humans." Emil disagreed. There was a strange friendliness to his tone. "Are you sure you even want to be human?"

For some reason, the girl laughed. "Oh, right. I suppose I'll just have one of you bite me and then I'll go live in the woods." 'Amelia' laughed again before turning and leaving the alley.

Emil watched his love leave with confused eyes. There was something strange about how she had said that… but hadn't she practically _asked_ him to convert her?

* * *

NIGHTTIME. THE time that clerics of Yybell were supposed to practice their rituals. The time vampires came out to feast on their prey. The time when the most dangerous fights in taverns broke out.

Jenell had always loved nighttime.

What she didn't love was travelling with a 13-year-old cleric from the church of Yybell. The girl wore the brown, leather armor and hat so Jenell couldn't make out any features. Pouches of magical supplies were tied to the girl on a sash and a crossbow and quiver were strapped to her belt.

How had a 13-year-old even become a cleric of Yybell?

The two walked down a street. Jenell was taking her nighttime stroll. She loved the mystery and dark of the night. It was the only thing that she and the church of Yybell had in common.

"So… how long have you been a cleric?" Jenell asked, trying to make decent conversation.

"Just a couple of months." The girl answered. "I came here one day and the religion really spoke to me. I was surprised that Father Urban took me in."

Jenell smiled. This girl seemed nice.

"My only problem is that I have to wear this hat." The girl sighed as she pulled off her hat…

NOT-QUITE-Mute John gasped in horror was what looked like a wolf—it couldn't be a wolf!—jumped to the roof he was perched on and hit him over the head with the hilt on some bladed weapon.

The large, wolf creature sniffed the night air as it looked down on Jenell and her bodyguard. It strained its eyes to look harder. No good. In this form, there was no color. Cursing its poor eyesight, the wolf had to take a gamble.

The wolf leapt from the rooftop and landed before the two figures. Before they could react, it quickly knocked out one and grabbed the other. Howling, the wolf ripped off the figure's sleeve and bit down on the arm…

Author's Notes: _Hmm? The god Vulpynne? I wonder what kind of animal he could be. 20 points to anyone who can guess. Of course, the points are exploding…_

_As for reviews… King Lawrence is based on King Steve! Now you must fear him! Also, Kevin's technically not a knight; more like a guard. Sir Bruce is a knight because he's of noble birth._

_Also, sorry for not a lot of the Ed's and Kevin. There'll be more next chapter._

Next Time: Discord and Rhyme


	10. Discord and Rhyme

Discord and Rhyme

**Discord and Rhyme**

_Author's Notes: 15 exploding points if you can guess what wolf-related song I got the title from. Or if the exploding points from the last chapter didn't kill you._

**Reviews SMASH!**

* * *

DOUBLE D WOKE up with a small yawn. The small room in the inn that he and the others had rented was just big enough for the four of them to share. Of course, since it had only two beds, Eddy and Ed were forced to sleep on the floor.

It took Double D a few seconds to realize something was wrong.

The window, which he was positive had been closed the night before, was wide open. There were several scratch marks on the wooden floor, as if some large creature had come in through the window and…

… Walked over to Edd.

The mage disgustedly realized there were several hairs on the floor and on his sheets. He carefully picked one op and inspected it. It was thick and brown. What's more, there was a certain… smell to them.

Double D crawled out of his bed as carefully as he could, trying not to disturb the evidence, and carefully stepped over Ed as he made his way to his clothes. They had been set on a trunk at the foot of his bed.

Edd picked up his orange robe and was shocked to see that a piece had been torn off at the bottom. He also saw that another one of the brown hairs stuck to his robe. Why would whoever broke into the room have stolen a piece of his robe?

It was then that the young mage looked down at his hand.

The three bite-marks had shifted. They now formed a complete triangle. Four unknown runes surrounded the triangle, vaguely resembling the placing on a compass.

Double D fearfully dropped his robe. He quickly opened up the chest at the foot of hid bed, where his and Ed's backpacks were. He knew he wouldn't have anything that could hide this, but maybe his friend…

Opening up Ed's backpack, Double D found a roll of bandage. This would have to do.

* * *

EMIL WALKED THROUGH the woods, just as Lamar had done the day before. Emil still wore his rock around his neck, and his gauntlet; his pants, however, were sufficiently torn.

The young leader sighed as he sat down under a tree. The leaves on the trees were already turning red and yellow. It was beautiful to the artist inside Emil, but it didn't take away his worry.

It had been dark last night. So dark that he wasn't able to see anything. He couldn't recognize his love by her smell, so he'd just bitten one of the two. Had she even been _near_ that spot?

Emil licked his teeth in an effort to recognize the taste of whoever he had bitten. They tasted… different. Not bad, just… weird. It was like a lemon in a world of apples.

Sighing, Emil closed his eyes to look back at his life. He had been born a naturally lycanthrope and his mother and sister had died in childbirth. He'd been adopted by Lamar's father, and the two had been like brothers for years.

When Emil turned 10, his adopted father joined a group that he was convinced would fix the way the world was. He died six years later.

Sixteen—Emil was now the leader of the Brother Beasts; a member of the group that his father had belonged to arrived and asked him if he would like to join the council. Her name was Circe, and thoughts of what had happened still made Emil feel uncomfortable.

Emil had joined the group called the Council of 13.

A foot in Emil's side woke him up with a start. Had he been dreaming this whole time? Lamar stood over him, wearing a guard's suit from the city of Spatzburg.

"Are you insane?"

The question was low, gruff, and angry. Emil could tell Lamar was pissed. Or possible he _had_ pissed.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Lamar yelled. Birds flew from nearby trees at the sound of his fearsome voice. "Reports from Rattrap say you went into town and just _attacked_ someone!"

Emil sighed heavily as he stood up. He was about a foot shorter than Lamar, whom he suspected was at most a quarter giant. "I had some important business and someone I needed to convert."

Lamar's eyes narrowed angrily. "Why do we need _more_ of those infected bastards?" He asked harshly. "We're supposed to _kill_ Two-Legs, not _welcome them!_"

Emil stared his brother in the eyes. "Lamar, I care for you." He said coolly. "That is why you were given a Stone of Slirva. Unfortunately, you lost the stone and our spy had to go through a lot of trouble to get it back. Do you think you're in any position to give orders to your leader?"

Lamar growled, and not in the sexy way. "This isn't how father wanted it to be. The full moon begins tonight; we need to attack Spatzburg!"

Emil shook his head at Lamar's anger. "We'll attack when we're ready. Until that time comes, we'll let our spies keep Spatzburg weak."

* * *

RHYME:

"I already told you, we don't got no butter for that bread!"

"But Ed needs buttered toast!" The tallest Ed pouted at the inn-keeper as he held a plate of bread, eggs, and something wet over the counter. "The best part of waking up is drinking buttered toast from a cup!"

Double D, Eddy, and Kevin ate their breakfast as Ed tried to get butter and invent toast. Nobody had asked why Double D had bandage wrapped around one of his hands. But then again, nobody asked why Ed had no chin; they just pointed and laughed.

"Ed seeks the tastiness of the toast and the butter!" Ed yelled at the inn-keeper. The old man was annoyed—and slightly scared—by Ed's bizarre obsession with buttered toast and gravy, which he'd already had two cups of.

"Listen, you little bastard," the innkeeper growled, "I get at least two customers in here every day who sprout gibberish; I don't need a third. So, why don't you just go along and—"

"I WILL FREE THE TOAST!"

Ed pushed the innkeeper down and ran over him into the kitchen, seeking that which he desired. He didn't find any buttered toast, but he found some nice, green stuff which he promptly ate.

After a bizarre ringing noise from his stomach, Ed passed out.

* * *

DISCORD:

Double D pushed open the door to the church of Yybell and, with the help of Eddy… and Kevin… and someone they'd met off the street; he dragged the unconscious and strangely green Ed into the place of worship.

A tall, dark-skinned cleric approached them. He looked at Ed and then pointed to a door on the other side of the room. Apparently he was mute.

Eddy and Kevin dragged Ed to the door, which had a green cross in a square on it. The door opened; many people were lying on beds. Many more were dying on beds. A cleric came and took Ed, setting him on an empty bed.

"He ate something and passed out." Eddy explained as the cleric opened Ed's mouth. There were bits of green mold clinging to his teeth. "Is he gonna die?"

The cleric shrugged. "Beats me, kid; it could either just give him some bad cramps or it could wind up killing him. Hard to say, really; it's not like a werewolf attack, where they're _bound_ to die. They either die from infection or we kill them."

Kevin raised an eyebrow. "You kill the… things so they don't bother you?"

The cleric shook his head. "It's sort of for that reason, but also because of our religion. Lycanthropes are unholy so we kill them… unless they're one of ours; then we just lock them up and try to cure them."

The cleric pointed to the far end of the room. "The other night, a werewolf attacked a cleric guarding Lady Jenell. It's kind of funny, actually; we'd suspected she had been a spy."

Eddy and Kevin walked over to where the cleric pointed. On a bed, a person—presumably a girl—was lying under the sheets. A white cloth covered her face, inscribed with a red eye. The girl's arm was bandaged, though blood was visible through the wound.

"The cloth's on her face to draw out impurities."

Eddy and Kevin both jumped in fear. When had that cleric walked up behind them?

"Come back later tonight. Your friend will either be better or dead." The cleric, whose people skills were obviously why he became a monk, smiled. "Yybell save you."

* * *

DISCORD:

Urban sat back in his chair, comfortably reading one of his many books. Life was good. Then, the tranquility was ruined when Mute John opened the door and entered the office.

Urban sighed as he closed his book. "What is it, John? I'm a very, very busy man."

Mute John smiled. It was the smile you put on before delivering awkward news. "Sir, the cleric who was supposed to guard Lady Jenell was attacked by a werewolf last night. We're treating her as best we can, but… this means she wasn't the spy, doesn't it?"

The leader of the church's mouth almost opened in surprised. He quickly gathered his composure and put his hand to his chin. "Hmm… the guard who was with Lady Jenell _look_ like Lady Jenell, doesn't she?"

Mute John paused. "Well, I guess so, Father, but—"

The bearded man stood up coolly. "I still believe that she is the spy; I just believe that her attacker mistook her for Jenell. After all, it would make more sense for a werewolf to attack a baron's daughter than a cleric who's only been here for a few months, doesn't it?"

Mute John rubbed his head, trying to think. What Father Urban said made sense eventually; still, the girl _couldn't_ be a spy… could she?

* * *

RHYME:

"Lady Jenell, after the attack last night your father wants you to be better protected. That means that I will have to follow you everywhere. Now, I promise I won't look while you change."

Jenell sighed as she shoved the guard out of her room. Her father was as protective as any ordinary father; the only real difference was that he could assign guards to make sure that she was safe at all times.

Jenell thoughtfully walked over to her bed and sat down. She was almost certain that the werewolf who had attacked her last night was the same one she had spoken with; but he had seemed so peaceful… why would he—

"Mmurmph."

Jenell gasped and jumped up off of her bed. The muffled voice had come from underneath her mattress. Carefully, she took the mattress in both hands and lifted it up.

Emil smiled widely as soon as the mattress was lifted. "Oh, hello." He attempted to wave, but the tight space between him and the bed made this difficult. "I, er… I see that you're well."

The girl's eyes focused on Emil's calmly and coldly. "I can call guards in here and they will drag you into the deepest dungeon." "Yes, you could." Emil agreed. He slowly crawled out from under the bed and stood up cheerfully. "Um… I've been meaning to ask you your name."

Jenell glared at Emil calmly. "You tried to attack me last night and you want to know my name?" "I thought that was what you wanted." "I was being sarcastic!"

The lycanthrope rubbed his chin. "Huh. Yes, we don't really use that very much in the Brotherden. Still, I would like to know your name."

"It's Jenell." She answered. "I'm the daughter of Gilbert, the baron of Spatzburg."

"That explains why you live in a manor! It's very nice, you know. Er… I don't suppose you're a lycanthrope now. I mean, there are rumors going around that I bit your bodyguard…"

Jenell stared at Emil tolerantly as he talked. She knew he didn't mean her any harm; he was just… confused. But he had attacked her the night before; didn't that make him dangerous?

"… so there will be at least two slices of ham left." Emil concluded. He nodded, satisfied with this explanation. "Well, anyways, I think you need to come with me."

This caught Jenell off guard. Was he threatening her?

"I mean, I'm not threatening you…" Oh. He wasn't. "But Spatzburg is in terrible danger, both from the inside and the outside. I'm not sure it will be safe for you."

Jenell shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere, Emil. Thanks for the offer, I guess."

Emil's face suddenly became a picture of despair. "F-Fine… I-I guess that's okay…" he said. Was he actually fighting back tears? "I-I'll just go talk to my brothers; maybe I can stop the invasion."

Jenell's eyes widened in shock at the last word. Before she could ask Emil anything, however, he had jumped out of her bedroom window and ran away.

* * *

RHYME:

Spatzburg had a College of Magical Studies. By College of Magical Studies, of course, I mean that the town's wizards met in a tavern every now and then to drink beer and… well, drink beer.

Now, unless you were born yesterday, you'd be able to tell that a dirt town like Spatzburg couldn't possibly have an _actual_ College of Magical Studies. If you _were_ born yesterday, let me be the first to welcome you to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so quickly!

Apparently, Double D had been born yesterday and had aged fifteen years in the last twenty-four hours. When he had heard that there was a 'College of Magical Studies', he had sprinted to the tavern only to find a bunch of old wizards drinking.

"You know, I remember when it wasn't illegal to summon demons. Those were the good days, eh? Cheap work and all it cost you was some incense?"

"_Ja_, but demons are servants of evil gods. If we kept summoning them they'd have taken over the earth before you could eat some cheese."

"Oi, I can't eat cheese. It makes me gassy."

"I wonder if the gods ever get gassy."

"They're the belief of man combined with pure magical energy! If one of 'em ever let one rip it'd break a hole in the magic continuum!"

"So, what; they hold it in for eons upon eons?" "I suppose so." "That would hurt after a while, wouldn't it?" "I don't really think gods can feel pain, Alice." "I'm a man."

Double D had been sitting at their table for several hours, listening to them talk. He had tried to be patient but it was the kind of patience reserved for nursing homes and tutoring. Finally, after about two hours, something new finally happened.

The red-headed, shirtless man who traveled around with Sir Bruce entered the tavern, grabbed a chair, and sat down the wizards' table. They could tell something was different about him because of his eyes; one green, one brown, and no pupils. After a few minutes of him smiling pleasantly, one wizard finally spoke.

"Are you a wizard?"

"No. Now shut up, you old bastard." Nevan said without losing his cheery smile. The wizard stared at Nevan for several seconds before getting up and walking away.

Nevan reached for the beer the man had been drinking and took a sip of it. "Right. I hear this is where the town's wizards meet."

"Erm… technically, I'm a mage." Double D corrected timidly.

Nevan shrugged calmly. "Wizards, mages; same difference. You both need books and ingredients to cast your spells. Still, I suppose you're better than nothing. I have a few questions about that piece of metal the boar was wearing when he attacked."

One wizard stroked his beard. "It's dark magic, that's all I know. New stuff, too; nobody's seen anything like it. It's decidedly otherworldly."

"You're a load of help, you old fart." Nevan said as he sipped from his stolen beer. The wizard glared at Nevan before angrily getting up and walking away.

Nevan reached for the beer he left behind and set it next to his other cup. "Okay, there are three wizards left and one skinny guy in a hat." Nevan said calmly as he drank from his most recent victory. "Anyone wanna leave right now?"

The three wizards left quickly got up and walked away, each of them leaving behind their beers (which Nevan promptly took). Double D looked back at them as they left.

"Why in Sam Hill did you make them leave? I was going to ask them to help identify something for me!"

Nevan downed one of the mugs quickly before looking first at Double D and then at his bandaged hand. "The only thing a wizard can do is mistake something for something else. What's the problem?"

Double D looked around cautiously. When he was certain nobody was looking, he unwrapped his bandaged arm. The bright-red markings on his hand were now surrounded by a bright-red circle.

Nevan took Double D's hand curiously. "These symbols… they're Night Elf runes."

"Night Elves?" Double D repeated. His mind flashed back to the Night Elf attack a week ago.

"Yes. They're some sort of religious marking, if I'm not mistaken. Most likely they act as a connection to some Night Elf god."

"Oh." Double D sighed as he took his hand back. "That's good, right?"

"Not really." "Why?" "Well, for one thing, the Night Elves worship death gods."

* * *

RHYME:

Ed opened his eyes sleepily. A tall, shadowy figure hung over him impatiently. Ed couldn't make much out, but he knew he was in some sort of infirmary. Or Sesame Street.

_**Come on, kid, I can't wait forever.**_

"Big Bird?" Ed asked. His throat was dry and scratchy. What had he eaten, anyways?

_**Hardly. Now hurry up; Laroror is waiting for us both.**_

"I like buttered toast."

_**You're dumber than most mortals, aren't you? That's not saying much, though, considering the way they measure time. Listen, I'm expecting a lot of horrible deaths tonight; can you hurry up and DIE?**_

Ed grinned happily. "Sure thing, stretch!" He winced his eyes and strained his body in an attempt to comply with the stranger's demand.

_**Huh. Must have you mixed up with someone else, then. Er… just to be clear, you never saw me.**_

"I'M BLIND!" Ed screamed as he sat up. He was sweating heavily and a monk of Yybell stood next to his bed.

"You must have been hallucinating." The monk said calmly. Ed looked around and saw several sick and/ or dead people lying on beds.

"I'm surprised you survived. I owe Mute John quite a lot of gold, you know. Uh… I don't suppose you could die anyways?"

The doors to the infirmary opened and Ed saw his friends (and Kevin) walk in. "My friends!" Ed exclaimed happily as they reached his bed. "You're here! I met a funny, not-talking man!"

Double D sat a plate of food on Ed's lap, smiling pleasantly. Something about him seemed on-edge, though.

Ed happily took a handful of… whatever was on the plate and ate it. If he paid attention to what he ate, would he have wound up in an infirmary? He stopped eating suddenly.

"Uh… guys? My tongue peels punny."

Ed stuck his tongue out. It was swollen.

"Yes, it turned out your friend had eaten some Dynian Mint." The cleric held up a waxy-looking, green leaf. "It's a holy plant used in Yybell ceremonies. It seems he's allergic to it."

Ed grunted something awkwardly. "Eyes! I hink I han swell a puppy!"

It took Kevin several seconds to decipher that mess. He watched as Ed stood up and sniffed the air, excited at the thought of finding a puppy. He jogged to the end of the infirmary with his tongue trailing behind him.

The others chased after Ed as he reached the bed with the girl cleric in it. Her face was still covered up and nothing had really changed. Ed happily reached for the cloth covering her and pulled it off.

The four heroes stared in shock. Ed was the first to speak. He looked at the girl in the bed curiously before asking his question.

"Blarah? Guyth… it's Sarah!"

* * *

DISCORD:

Jenell awoke in shock at the sound of footsteps. There was a sound like nails going into wood from above her bed. The full moon shown in from outside her broken glass window.

The lady stood up and got out of her head. She reached for a candle on her nightstand and looked around. There didn't seem to be anyone nearby. She opened her mouth to call for the guards.

There was a springing noise from above and a furry hand covered her mouth. A plant was forced into her mouth. It tasted bitter.

"_Jenell… I'm so sorry I have to do this._"

The voice was gruff. It was the voice of a creature that shouldn't be able to talk but, through some miracle or curse, could. It was also the voice of a sad man.

"_Please know that I'm protecting you out of love… I can't stop the invasion._"

The creature's words became slurred in Jenell's ears as her eyelids became heavy. The room seemed to warble, like it was a mirage. Everything seemed fake…

"_You'll be safe with me, Jenell… I really am sorry._"

* * *

Author's Notes: _Meh. You can look forward to some action in upcoming chapters. Also, I'd like it if everyone reviewed and was awesome. Thank you._

Next Time: Dances With Wolves


	11. Dances With Wolves

Dances with Wolves

**Dances with Wolves**

_Author's Notes: I'm running out of things with 'Wolf' in the title._

* * *

The four heroes stared at the unconscious red-head for several seconds before Double D spoke. As usual, his was the voice of obsessive-compulsive reason.

"Unbelievable… the spell that took us from our home placed Sarah just several miles away from where we arrived." The sock-head's eyes widened in an excited glee. "What does this mean? Perhaps the spell started dropping us off somewhere far away and travelled from place to place until it reached our desti—"

"Jeez!" Eddy exclaimed. "I thought you were bad with science and germs and crap! You're even worse about magic!"

Edd smiled nervously. "Yes, well… this proves that we all made it here safely, at least. Perhaps we'll run into the others along the way?"

Kevin shook his head calmly. "Weren't you listening earlier today?" He pointed at the bandage on Sarah's arm. "She got attacked by a werewolf, dork. That hardly seems 'okay' to me."

Kevin's words hit the two-and-a-half-Ed's (Ed only heard the words 'she' and 'werewolf') at the same time that Father Urban shoved Double D aside. He wore a suit of bronze armor over the traditional garb of an Yybell Cleric. A silver-bladed dagger was in his right hand.

"What are you doing?" Eddy asked slowly. Mute John walked in behind the Father. "Erm… Father Urban is going to eliminate the lycan spy." He explained un-mutely. "You may want to stand back; this tends to… well, get bloody."

"Eliminate?!" Double D repeated in horror. "She can't be a spy, though; we know her!"

Urban held the dagger over his head. "Once someone's blood has been infected by lycan genes, my son, you _don't_ know them. It is the full moon; the Furred-Ones will begin their attack on the town tonight. We must kill the spy before any information can be given to its masters."

Ed looked from the blade to his sister, having one of his oh-so-rare moments of thought. "But… she's my sister."

Urban shook his head calmly. "I have proof that she has been a traitor since she came to our temple." He reached into his sleeve and pulled out a piece of metal—the same kind Lamar had worn when he had attacked the town. "When we brought her to the infirmary, we found this piece of moon-rock in her pocket."

Double D stared at the metal hesitantly. "But… w-why would the lycan attack—"

"She looks very much like Lady Jenell!" Urban pointed out. "He obviously mistook her for his true target. I have given you full proof that she is a spy! Now let me kill her!"

Urban raised the knife even higher and muttered something unintelligible. He closed his eyes as tight as he could and brought the knife down.

_CLANG!_

The sound of knife meeting knife rung through the infirmary and Urban's blade was knocked out of his hands. Eddy smiled cockily. "You called that hunk of metal a moon-rock."

"Yes." Urban agreed. "That is its name."

"When we came here the other day, you told us you had no idea what that stuff was." Eddy sheathed his knife cheerfully. "How'd you find out what it is so soon?"

Urban stared at Eddy for several seconds. "Well… t-the wizards here helped us identify the fragment we had—" "You mean the one that was stolen?" Kevin asked.

Urban pointed at Sarah's sleeping body accusingly. "S-she's the spy! She _has _to be! Whenever we'd use Dynian Mint in our ceremonies, she would faint! Just like a werewolf would!"

"Sir—" Mute John whispered.

"She's probably allergic, just like Ed!" Double D exclaimed. "He fainted after he ate some of that Dynian Mint!"

"Sir—"

"_Nobody_ can be allergic to Dynian Mint!" Urban yelled. "It's a damned holy plant! Everyone here uses it, even Mute J—"

"SIR!" Mute John yelled with a scream that could (and probably just did) wake the dead. "Sir, y-you've never touched Dynian Mint in the four months you've been here."

There was a long silence. The light of the full moon fell in through the temple's windows. Urban sighed as fur began growing from his skin. "Very well… _I'll have to kill you all, then._"

The armor and robes on Urban burst off as thick, coarse, brown fur covered his body and he began increasing in size. His hands and feet lengthened into thick, padded paws with long claws coming out of each finger and toe. His face contorted and stretched into that of a bear's, but with eyes like a person's.

"_It's really nothing personal, you understand. Just common sense._" The werebear turned its head, cracking the bones in its neck. "_I can't have you going and blabbing. And, honestly, your sister will be better off dead._"

Urban pulled back his paw and swung, knocking down Ed, Edd, Eddy, and Kevin all in one blow. The four heroes were knocked to the other side of the room, slamming into the wall and sick patients in beds.

The creature then turned around and grabbed Mute John, pulling him up in the air by an arm and a leg. "_Quite frankly, John, I thought we got along quite well. Still, you're a human, and I can't say I really support that._" Urban pulled on the opposite ends of Mute John, who screamed until he actually became mute.

There was a sickening ripping sound, and Urban tossed both of Mute John away.

"_It feels so good to be me again._" Urban growled as he turned around and looked at the four heroes. "_Your human skin is uncomfortable and tight; when you're an animal, you have true freedom. No selfish wants or desires; you simply know what you must do and you do it. A bit like ants, really._"

Kevin stood up and drew his sword. He charged at Urban, who merely swatted his weapon aside and grabbed Kevin's arm.

"_Ugh… you reek of over-indulgence!_" The creature growled in his face. "_I suppose you're one of those new-fangled types that worships Cabai. Sick._" He tossed Kevin onto one of the sick-beds (Already occupied).

Ed was next. He stood got up on all fours calmly. "Okay! Check this out, bear-man!" He launched himself forward with his arms, his hands in a striking position as he flew at Urban.

"Mid-Air Strike!"

The no-chinned wonder's hand flew into the werebear's gut, knocking him into the wall behind him. Ed landed on his feet and stood up triumphantly. "I have defeated the—"

This sentence has been interrupted due to a paw-strike to the head and sudden loss of consciousness. Urban stepped over Ed calmly. "_Only two are left; a thief and a mage. In my experience, those are the ones to watch out for._"

Double D hesitated. He wasn't ready for this! He didn't even have his staff with him!

"Hey… you've got a plan, right?" Eddy asked as he tossed his knife from hand to hand. The werebear watched them mockingly, as if he was sure that they couldn't hurt them.

"Well… I only have a few spells memorized, and even then I'd need my staff." Double D whispered.

"Why can't you make that dog thing appear again?" "That was an accident, Eddy. And even then, I'm pretty sure it was just a one-time thing." "Stupid, otherworldly dogs! Never there when you need them."

"_If you don't come prepared, you can never succeed._" Urban mocked as he stepped forward. "_You're the worst wizard I've ever seen! Well, maybe second-worst; the first worst would have to be Rice—_"

Urban stopped suddenly. The pointed of a silver-tipped knife was just visible coming out of his heart. The monster collapsed on the ground, motionless.

Sarah breathlessly pulled the knife out of the fallen werebear. "You idiots… had better tell me why I've spent that last three months in Germany… or I'm telling mom!"

* * *

SPATZBURG MANOR:

"Sir, we can't find her anywhere." The guard said to the worrying Baron Gilbert. The baron sat in his study, alone as always. "We can't find anyone strange in the building, either; your daughter is most-likely in the woods."

Gilbert sighed as he drank from a glass of brandy. Despite his previous experience and a pounding headache, he needed it. "Tell Urban to send as many of his Slayers into the woods as he can. I don't want anything to happen to my daughter!"

The guard bowed and ran out of the study as quickly as he could. The Baron held his head in his hand worryingly. What would he do if they hurt his daughter? His wife was already dead, his brother murdered—what would he possibly do?

"I see you haven't lost your taste for brandy." A familiar voice said. "Sorry about knocking you out the other night, but… well, you know. Force of habit."

Gilbert got out of his chair and turned around. He found himself facing an exact duplicate of himself. "So you _are_ a doppelganger." The baron said.

"Am I? I hadn't noticed." The other baron replied. "Seems Spatzburg is in a bit of trouble. Werecreatures running around, the Legion der Reinheit; I thought I'd stick around to see if I could help."

Gilbert sighed. "I doubt you'll be much help. I've got Sir Bruce here and so far he hasn't done much."

Mr. Y chuckled through the baron's mouth. "If you want a job done then you need to get a real hero; someone like Hammersong or maybe Reaper. Instead, you've got a fake knight and his sorcerer friend."

Gilbert growled angrily. "Get out of my house."

* * *

"BAD FOR ED! BAD FOR ED!" "Sarah, stop pulling his hair like that!" "We should've let the bear thing kill her!" "No! Eddy! She'll attack you next!"

Sarah growled angrily as she stopped pulling her brother's hair. She stepped off of the martial artist's back and glared at the three other adventurers. "What took you idiots so long to find me?! Do you know what I've had to put up with?!"

Double D smiled nervously. It was important to be as polite as possible whenever Sarah was involved. "W-We've had our fair amount of trouble as well, Sarah." "Trouble?! Kevin's wearing a suit of armor!"

Kevin looked at his plate-mail ashamedly.

"Sarah, we have been attacked by Night Elves, two hideous Nazis, and I may be sick." Double D defended. Eddy stared at him in shock. He was starting to sound like a parent.

Double D continued. "I realize you've most-likely had a hard time over the past few months, but that is no reason to yell at us."

Ed stood up and watched Sarah calm down a little. How come this never happened when Ed talked to her? When he tried to think of a reason, a picture of Eddy in a chicken suit popped up. Part of him realized this _was_ the answer.

Sarah scratched at her bandaged arm. "So where's everyone else?" "No idea." Kevin answered. "We got lucky, finding you." Eddy scoffed but Kevin ignored him. "But here's a question for you; how'd you end up as one of these Yybell guys?"

The red-haired girl's cheeks turned pink. "Oh… well, I woke up here a few months ago…"

* * *

3 MONTHS AGO:

_The world was so dark. There wasn't any noise or any light; just pure darkness, stretching on for eternity. It was impossible to tell if your eyes were open or closed. Nothing could be seen; not even one's own self._

_The darkness was suddenly filled with a room. It was a small bedroom with only one bed, a chest at the foot of the bed, and a door to the left. Sarah found herself lying on the bed._

_"It's good to see you're awake."_

_Sarah jumped at the presence of the female voice. She turned her head and saw a dark-skinned girl with long hair. She wore a strange suit with an eye symbol on it._

_"My name is Donna." The girl introduced with a smile. "I found you outside the temple." Her voice suddenly trailed away from her. "I like your shirt. It's pink, like flowers."_

_For once, Sarah was too shocked to be angry. She had just been in the school library… hadn't she? Her brain was too fogged up for her to remember what had happened. Finally, the fog cleared and she was able to ask a question._

_"Where am I?"_

_Donna grinned as she sat down on the foot of the bed. "This is the temple of Yybell in the hamlet of Spatzburg. I suppose you didn't come here intentionally if you don't know where you are. Hmm… I wonder how I'd look with red hair…"_

_The older girl stared off into space for a few seconds before returning her full attention to Sarah. "I'm sorry about that; it happens."_

_"Um… was there anyone else with me? A tall, stupid-looking guy or a boy with a retainer?" "What's a retainer?" "Oh… I'm starting to get it now."_

_Sarah sighed sadly. This couldn't be a dream; her head was pounding in pain. She looked down at her trembling hands in realization that, wherever she was, it wasn't her home. So was she in another country?_

_Donna saw the look of fear and uncertainty on Sarah's face and gave her a comforting smile. "If you need a place to stay, I'm sure Father Urban will let you join as a cleric of Yybell."_

_Sarah looked back at Donna and realized she had no choice. She returned the smile and nodded slightly. Her new friend took her hand and led her to her new life._

_At first it was difficult; Sarah had a hard time adjusting. Training with the crossbow and knife was the hardest part; sure, she was decent in a fist-fight, but she wasn't as good with actual weapons._

_She picked up on the religion well-enough. The stories in the Book of Yybell weren't very believable, but… the more you heard them, the more true they seemed. Something else that was strange was… it started making sense to Sarah. The philosophies matched Sarah's almost hand-in-hand._

_Finally, after three months, Sarah was as skilled as most of the other clerics in the temple. She knew all of the basics about the religion of Yybell—creatures of the night are bad, learn the healing practices of any plants you find—and could even wield her crossbow with some proficiency._

_She was enjoying herself until the werewolf attack._

* * *

SPATZBURG:

Sarah sighed as she finished her story. It hadn't exactly been thrilling, but at least it got the Four's attention. Kevin was the first to speak: "So… you worship this Yybell guy now?"

The red-head shrugged. "More or less. I mean, I don't go off and prey to him every day like some of the others do." Kevin tried not to turn red with embarrassment. "Well… that's stupid. Why are you getting sucked into one of this world's religions? I-I wouldn't. Nope."

"Um… excuse me."

It was then that the group remembered they were still in an infirmary filled with sick people. One of them, a man with Mad Goblin Disease, raised his fingerless hand. "Should we be panicking?"

Eddy groaned. He hated sick people. You couldn't legally scam sick people. "You can all go back to dying now; the threat's been taken care of." "Eddy!" Double D glared.

"What happened here?"

Everyone in the room who could turn their head turned their head to the entrance. The same dark-skinned girl who had spoken to 'Father' Urban before the moon-rock was stolen and helped Sarah become a cleric stood in the doorway. It was Donna.

Donna looked first at the remains of Mute John and then at Urban's. "A lycanthrope attacked? Was it the spy?"

Sarah nodded. "It was Urban. Urban was the spy all along, Donna!"

Donna sighed as she walked up to the group. She smiled at them all playfully before pulling a knife out of her belt. "I'm afraid I can't allow anyone to know about this." She said. "You see, Urban wasn't the only spy."

The words hit Sarah like a missile. "Wait… you…"

"They call me Rattrap, you see." Donna explained. Fur began growing out of every pore of her skin. "I was the second spy."

* * *

GUIDE TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU:

RELIGIONS

The Church of Yybell has existed since before the Great Mage Wars, making it one of the five oldest human religions. Its founder, Marcus Wilhelm, claimed that Yybell, the God of the Night, appeared to him in a dream and told him to spread the Gospel of the Twilight. Wilhelm also claimed that Yybell impregnated him.

While running into opposition at first due to Wilhelm's unpopularity in the world, it finally gained momentum in the Saint Michal Mental Hospital. The inmates were amazed by Wilhelm's stories of Yybell's accomplishments. The religion soon spread to the guards, those who visited the inmates and even a plate that Wilhelm had conversations with.

The first hero that worshipped Yybell was Hornet, Slayer of Vampires. Hornet reached legendary status during the Great Mage War, when he single-handedly defeated an entire platoon of vampires with his famed blade, the Stinger. Unfortunately, after the end of the Great Mage War, Hornet was imprisoned for tax evasion. Ironically, the count who imprisoned him was a vampire.

The Commandments of Yybell are as follows: "_Thou shall not let the foul creatures of the night—vampires, undead, werewolves and their ilk—walk in the darkness. They shalt be slain before they can harm the innocent. Also, seek out those who doth worship mine half-brother, Nevoo, and slay them with no mercy. Seriously, thou should feel free to just hack them into tiny bits._"

The commandments go on for several more lines, but those are about the most important parts. Yybell himself is the son of Daeva, the human god of creation. He was one of the first children and, for this reason, holds some of the most power. He and his half-brother, Nevoo, the good of undeath, have waged an eternal battle ever since Yybell stole Nevoo's girlfriend when they were younger. However, in a recent turn of events, it turns out that the girlfriend might have actually been Yybell's long-lost sister! Can you believe that? And the other day, I saw Nevoo talking to Vulpynne! Vulpynne! They _never_ get along! And I hear that the god of war knocked up an elf god! Imagine the scandal!

* * *

Next Time: Battle of Wolves


	12. Battle of Wolves

**Battle of Wolves:**

_Author's Notes: Sorry it's been a while. I've had a really busy schedule. Also, I was attacked by Pyramid Head. Anyways, enjoy this chapter or I'll gouge out all of my friends' eyes with a rusty spoon._

* * *

The creature that stood before the heroes no-longer resembled Donna. It looked like a rat walking on its hind-legs—a fairly feminine rat and one that was fairly skinny, but a rat nonetheless. Donna—no, her real name was Rattrap, wasn't it?—held her knife tightly as she stepped towards the group.

_"I did kind of like you, Sarah."_ The voice emerged from Rattrap's muzzle. "_But you were still just a means to an end. We needed someone to throw suspicion off of ourselves while we spied, and a sudden new addition to the church was just what we needed. For your help, I won't kill you and your friends—maybe just knock you out."_

The news of the betrayal struck Sarah hard. "I… I thought you were my friend."

Rattrap's red eyes contained what looked like pity. _"I'm sorry, Sarah, but I was given orders. You understand, don't you?"_

Double D stepped forward, glaring at the rat. "You… you were the creature that snuck into our room the other night. Why?"

The lycanthrope simply chuckled. _"I was obeying my animal instincts—to be honest, I've always been attracted to mages. You're lucky I was able to restrain myself from doing anything other than stare at you."_

As Edd backed away in shock, Eddy and Ed stepped forward. "Your bear-buddy took a lot out of us." Eddy spun his own knife around in his hand as he spoke. "Doesn't matter, though—we don't need to be at 100% to take you out."

The lycanthrope's muzzle somehow turned into a smile. _"That's not what _she _seems to think."_

The Ed's turned and looked at Sarah. Much to their shock, they saw ginger fur slowly growing on Sarah's body.

* * *

JENELL OPENED HER eyes tiredly. She found herself in a cave—a large one, illuminated by torches bound to the walls. Piles of hay littered the cave's floor and Jenell realized that she was lying on one herself.

Jenell stood up and realized that the cave she was in was actually a chamber in a series of catacombs—the entrances to three tunnels lined the cave walls.

She made her way towards one of the tunnels. It made its way even deeper into the earth—a steep incline, almost impossible for one to conceive that it was natural. She began to make her way down the tunnel; carefully, so as not to fall.

There was no time in the tunnel. Any hours or minutes that passed couldn't be made out in the torch-lit darkness that Jenell descended into. Finally, she reached the other end of the tunnel. An end that led to a much larger chamber than the one she had just been in.

Strange symbols covered the floor—most-likely magical ones, as there really isn't another reason to write strange symbols on a surface. Jenell couldn't make out what had been used to write the runes, but the dark-red color aroused certain suspicions.

Footsteps clicked down the tunnel behind Jenell. In a panic, she looked around for a place to hide.

* * *

RAGE… Anger; pure, bestial instinct that man had tried to control over the years burned up inside of Sarah like a rag soaked in gasoline. But this wasn't the anger with a passion that human-kind had perfected—it was something far simpler; feeling emotions simply for the sake of feeling human.

Miraculously, the Cleric suit had remained on Sarah's body, if it still _was_ her body. She resembled a walking, ginger-furred wolf—her yellow eyes glowed fiercely as she stared down the rat before her.

"**S-Sarah?**"

Sarah cringed at Double D's voice. She could hear things in his voice normal people couldn't—the strain of his vocal chords as they formed the words rung in her ears. Sarah attempted to form words herself with her now inhuman muzzle:

_"I… I'm fine. This is so weird… I can hear and smell everything… especially Ed…_" Sarah the Werewolf adjusted her crouched position until she was standing up straight—a difficult task. _"My brain feels like it's telling me to do two things at once…"_

Rattrap chuckled slightly at Sarah's discomfort. _"You were bitten by our leader, and he passed on his Life-Blood to you. Your first transformation was purely accidental—brought on solely by your anger towards me. However, you should be careful from now—"_

In an instant, Sarah had attacked Rattrap. The speed of the attack almost blinded the Heroes. The two blurs scratched and bit at each other at a speed well beyond what most people could achieve. Soon, it was impossible to distinguish which beast was which.

Sarah and Rattrap tumbled all over the infirmary (Much to the patients' confusion) and Sarah found herself attacking with an above-average savagery. Normally, she would simply pummel someone who angered her—now she was scratching, biting, and grabbing.

After seconds of fighting, Sarah was tossed aside by her opponent. Rattrap, clumps of fur missing and bleeding slightly, stood up slowly.

_"You didn't let me finish, Sarah. That was impolite."_

"SARAH!"

The rat turned around just in time to see Ed charging at her. Without a moment's pause, she swiftly grabbed the top of his head and slammed him into the ground. There was a thud as the floor cracked slightly. Rattrap calmly pressed her foot on the back of Ed's neck, keeping him pinned.

_"There are only two of you left."_ Rattrap seemed almost apologetic in the way she said this. "_A thief and a mage… what happened to the big-chinned one from a few days ago?"_

"SURPRISE ATTACK!"

Kevin dropped down from the ceiling onto Rattrap, much to everyone's surprise and confusion. The young warrior knocked Rattrap off of Ed and pinned her down with his sword.

"When nobody was looking, I climbed up to the rafters for no religious reason." Kevin explained. "Because I don't worship anyone in this world! Nope!"

Ed slowly stood up, rubbing his non-existent jaw soothingly. "Where's the ice-cream?" Sometimes it was just hard to tell if Ed was faking it or not. Sarah was lying motionless on the ground—however, a slight twitch from her arm showed her to be alive.

_"Are you going to kill me?"_ Rattrap asked calmly as Kevin pushed the blade down. _"Go ahead. It'll be better than if Lamar gets a hold of me. If he finds out I didn't kill you all when I had the chance…"_

Double D rubbed his chin. "Wasn't Lamar the boar that attacked the village a few days ago? Is he your leader or something?"

Rattrap merely scoffed at this idea. _"He might as well be. Emil is powerless over the brothers—they feel that he's become too human. They think he spends too much time with that council of his…"_

A cold chill ran down the four heroes' spines. Eddy, for once, was the first to speak.

"Council? Like… thirteen?"

Rattrap grunted acknowledgment. _"He has been a member for a few years. They gave him a powerful artifact of pure dark magic. However, his relationship with members of another species has weakened support. Lamar now holds more power."_

"So this Emil dude was the one who attacked Sarah…" Eddy realized obviously. _"He also organized an invasion-force to attack this village."_ Rattrap grunted under the pressure of Kevin. _"They'll be attacking in an hour…"_

The whole room seemed to gasp—even the sick people who technically couldn't gasp. "An hour?!" Kevin repeated as he got off of the prisoner. He kept the edge of his sword on her neck. "Why the hell are you even attacking Spatzburg?!"

_"Because humans take everything from us!"_ Rattrap yelled. She seemed to sob as she said this. _"The world used to be covered in forests, but the others races took that away! These were the homes of animals and our ancestors, the Pricolici, until elves and others of their kind started taking over!"_

Double D was left speechless for once. "Wow…" was all he could say. "Do you really hate humans that much?"

_"No, I'm just screwing with you."_ This earned a sharp poke from Kevin's sword. _"But many of my kind do hate humans. Lamar is just one of them. His invasion-force will show you how strong their hatred can be."_

* * *

EMIL STEPPED into the summoning chamber calmly. The full moon was out—he could walk in his true skin. Silver fur covered his body and a wolf's head replaced his normal one. His black gauntlet had changed so it fit his wolf-form. Emil looked down at the runes written in squirrel blood, but not before sniffing at the air.

_"… Jenell?"_ He growled. He sniffed again—it was definitely Jenell. She was nervous. _"Jenell, don't be afraid—you're safe here."_ No response.

The wolf stepped forward cautiously. _"I wasn't going to leave you there, Jenell!"_ He yelled tearfully. _"They're attacking tonight! Lamar's said he won't let anyone survive! JENELL, PLEASE!"_

He heard a faint noise coming from a boulder on the far-side of the chamber. Almost instinctively, he raised the black gauntlet so it pointed at the rock. An otherworldly glow covered his body as he moved his fingers like a puppeteer would.

Slowly, Jenell stepped out from behind the boulder. Her movements were jerky—like a machine that had not been perfected. Finally, she came to a stop across from Emil. The otherworldly glow dissipated from Emil's body as he lowered his hand.

"What did you just do?" Jenell asked fearfully—she seemed to be almost crying.

Emil pointed at the gauntlet he wore. _"This was given to me by a group of horrible power. It is an artifact of dark magic called the Master's Hand. I try not to use it, Jenell, but sometimes… it _makes_ me do things."_

Jenell began to cry. "Please… Emil, let me go. My father—" _"I wish I could save him, but Lamar would stop me."_ Emil explained quickly. _"Jenell, listen… if I could save everyone in that village, I would… for you."_

"Touching sentiments, Brother."

Emil saw a look of horror on Jenell's face. Quickly, he spun around to see a human Lamar and two werewolves standing behind him. Before he could respond, Lamar's fist collided with Emil's snout, sending him flying into the summoning circle.

"I expected you would try and rescue this girl." Lamar said sternly. His face was humorless as he spoke. "You were raised as my brother, Emil—you were chosen by my father to lead the Brother Beasts, and this is how you act? It shows my father's ultimate wisdom, I suppose…"

Before Emil could stand up, one of the werewolves delivered a painful kick to the stomach. The second stomped on Emil's side as Lamar continued talking.

"You're obviously unfit to lead us anymore." He pointed out angrily. "I will assume the role of leadership from now on, _Brother._" He snapped his fingers and the two wolves backed away. Evidently not satisfied with what had been done so far, Lamar lifted his foot and brought a kick to Emil's forehead.

"I'll deal with you and your lover after the invasion is complete." Lamar spat. "And to think I once looked up to you…"

The three lycanthropes walked away, leaving Emil in a heap on the floor. The Master's Hand clenched tightly despite Emil's lack of consciousness.

* * *

ED KICKED the rented tavern room open and ran in as quickly as he could. He set the unconscious Sarah on his bed and knelt down beside her. Eddy and Edd followed in after him. Eddy walked up behind the one-chinned wonder and patted him on the back. "Don't worry, monobrow. She's gonna be okay."

Ed stared at Eddy in confusion. "Who's going to be okay? I'm just helping Sarah into bed. It's her bedtime."

Edd picked up his staff, lying on his bed, and winced as a pain ran through his marked hand. "Do you think Kevin has told someone by now?"

This was met with by a chuckle from Eddy. "He probably found that red-haired guy or maybe the gay knight." Double D stared at Eddy in shock. "Eddy! I highly doubt that Sir Bruce is gay!"

"Dude, he travels around with a shirtless dude." Eddy pointed out. "That's enough evidence for me. I mean, I don't have any problem with gay guys—I talk to Jimmy sometimes."

"Jimmy isn't gay!" Edd defended. "He's just horribly effeminate! Besides, have you _seen_ that scrapbook he has of Sarah? It's downright disturbing."

_"Can I come in now?"_

Rattrap's voice surprised them all—they had almost forgotten they had brought her with them. It was strange that she hadn't run away when she had the chance, but Eddy had a few theories about why. All of them involved Double D somehow being attractive to a girl.

"Just wait outside!" Edd ordered. He looked at Eddy seriously. "Alright—we need to get to the Brother Beast's lair if we want to find this 'Emil'." "Why don't we just stay here?" Eddy asked. "He's bound to come, isn't he?"

This time, it was Edd who chuckled. Poor, simple Eddy—years of mindless cartoons had rotted his brain from the inside out. "I doubt it's in his character, Eddy." He explained simply. "Seeing as this man is a member of the Council of 13, I don't think he would risk is life on such a trivial battle."

"TRIVIAL BATTLE PURSUIT!" Ed yelled as he stood up. His annoying voice caused Sarah to slowly open her eyes. Her eyes seemed somehow different—more bestial. "What happened?" She asked.

"I'll explain later." Edd said simply. In a matter of seconds, Kevin entered the room. "I found the knight with the anticlimactic name." He explained. "The dude said he'll alert the town guard."

"Excellent!" Double D exclaimed. He held his staff in the air as his comrades all stood up, each one ready for the coming fight. "Let's begin!"

* * *

GUIDE TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU:

LYCANTHROPES

Modern-day lycanthropes are descended from the Pricolici, an ancient race of half-man, half-animals who were among the first races. The Pricolici lived like animals in small tribes—however, the more structured races of Elves, Orcs, and Naga, began tearing down the Pricolici's wilderness homes to build towns and cities.

Over the centuries, the Pricolici magically adapted into humans that could change into beasts under the full moon or when enraged. This new races was called 'lycanthropes', from and old Elven word whose meaning nobody knows. While many members of this race are xenophobic, there have been records or peaceful relationships between lycanthropes and other races.

Lycanthropes largely worship Vulpynne, the god of the wild. While all other races believe Vulpynne's commandments are to live in peace with nature, lycanthropes believe that Vulpynne wishes lycanthropes and other animals to reign supreme.

The child of a lycanthrope and a member of another race is a Bestial, a humanoid being with animalistic traits. A descendant of a Bestial (Usually the great-great-grandchild) can sometimes be a natural lycanthrope, despite two non-lycanthrope parents.

To date, the only known lycanthrope hero is a wererat named Velox the Quick. Velox achieved legendary status by slaying the _Legaselep_, a 12-headed, man-eating giant. Velox was unable to wear the creature's head as a trophy due to the sheer number of them. He instead settled on its little toe.

* * *

Next Time: Now the Wolf Cries


	13. Now the Wolf Cries

**Now the Wolf Cries**

* * *

It was midnight over the quiet province of Spatzburg. A mist hung in the air, creating an almost-peaceful illusion as drops of water were caught on leave and in the hair of drunken men who had lost too much money playing an Orc drinking game. One of these men stumbled out of the tavern and onto the grass. The alcohol in his breath mingled with the water in the air until it was almost visible. That's never a good sign.

Through near-sighted beer-goggles, the man made out a shadow on the roof of a store across from him. Painful double-vision blurred the figure until the man thought it was simply part of the house.

This misconception was proved wrong when the figure jumped down from the roof and, like a storm of fur and teeth, began tearing the man apart.

The man's drunken screams rallied a small troop of guards to run towards the sound. Slowly, however, furred creatures jumped out of alleys and tackled the guards to the ground. The guards found their armor being torn off, followed by their skin and the gooey stuff just above the bone.

The lycanthropes stood up off of their prey. There were eight of them—three werewolves, two werebears, two rats, and the hulking Wereboar that was Lamar. Silently, Lamar signaled for them to move towards the large manor in the center of the town—they had much more work to do.

* * *

"OKAY, HERE'S ONE…" As the five heroes (Plus Rattrap) marched through the woods solemnly, Eddy tried his best to strike up a conversation. "If you could fight any historical figure, who would you fight?"

Edd sighed as he followed Rattrap towards what he hoped was the Brother Beasts' lair and not her bed. "Eddy, this isn't the time. We need to be prepared for when we reach the cave."

"I'd fight Gandhi." Kevin answered nonchalantly, playfully twisting his sword around in his hand. Eddy gave Kevin a quizzical look before asking the question that Edd knew he would have asked: "Who the hell's Gandhi?"

Sarah tried her best to ignore whatever the hell Eddy was doing and instead began focusing on the woods around her. She had never noticed a forest the way she was now: it was like its own little universe, completely uncaring of what went on outside it. Every snapping twig, tweeting nightingale, and dying rabbit made up a picture—kind of like those collages magazines did. It took her a while to realize that the conversation was still going on:

"Okay, I'd fight Lincoln." Double D conceded finally, much to Eddy's delight. "Are you happy?"

"Not yet." Sarah saw Eddy turn to her. "How about you, Sarah; who'd you fight?"

The question was pointless, stupid, and completely useless. Sarah didn't see why she should answer: after all, she didn't even like Eddy. He was an annoying little trout. He was short, egotistical, and… and…

"Napoleon." Sarah answered smugly. "I'd fight Napoleon."

* * *

BARON GILBERT sighed weakly, the stench of alcohol heavy on his breath. As he walked up the path to his manor, he found himself having trouble remembering why he was so depressed. Oh, yeah, his daughter was missing…

Putting one foot in front of the foot he'd just put behind him, Gilbert stumbled his way to the oaken doors of Spatzburg Manor. It was incredibly late—no doubt it was locked. Gilbert pounded on the door for what seemed like forever (2 seconds.) and there was no reply. Gilbert's brow furrowed in frustration.

"Hey!" He yelled angrily. "Lemme in! I'm the baron 'round here!" His shouts were ignored by whoever was inside the manor. He yelled loud enough, however, to attract unwanted attention.

The hulking figure of a werebear approached the king from behind. It moved surprisingly quietly for something so large, mainly due to pads on its feet. The werebear readied a paw to strike down the baron, but hesitated.

Why was he doing this? He had no personal vendetta against this man. In fact, he had never met a human who had wronged him, or any human for that matter. Why was he judging another by their species? True, Vulpynne wanted his kind to rule the earth, but couldn't they do that without harming others? Slowly, the werebear lowered his paw.

"BARON!"

A blast of magical energy knocked the werebear to the ground. The lycanthrope hit its head on a rock, severely damaging its vision. As it painfully lifted its head, it could just make out a shirtless fellow with red hair. A swirling, green power surrounded his body, pulsing with every heartbeat.

(Occasionally, someone is hit on their head hard enough to see magical energy around a person. The side effects of this are usually forgetting any recent epiphanies and developing Foreign Accent Syndrome. Many have tried to achieve this but have wound up becoming very ugly and eventually forget why they keep hitting themselves.)

The baron turned to see Nevan, the perpetually shirtless. He turned again and saw the werebear. Being as drunk as the baron was, it was difficult for him to be surprised. All we could manage was a half-hearted "Wow."

Without uttering a Word of Power, Nevan gathered the magic around him in his hand. With a bit of concentration, he formed it into something solid—more specifically, a sword that glowed under the full moon. The sorcerer let go of the sword and, as if driven by some unseen force, it flew into the werebear, piercing its heart with fatal precision.

"I'll expect to be paid double for that." With a wave of his hand, the sword Nevan had summoned vanished just as instantly. "I could have been hurt. It was a close fight."

This was an outright lie. Nevan was half-Fey, though, so it came naturally to him.

"I'd best be off—see how Sir Bruce is doing." Nevan nodded to Baron Gilbert, the universal sign of 'I Really Can't Stand You, But It's Nice to See You', and began to walk off. This left the Baron hopelessly confused.

_"How nice of him to leave. Now I can kill you myself…"_

The voice came from behind Gilbert. He couldn't turn around because of a very furry hand placed firmly on his shoulder. The voice sounded somehow familiar, but Gilbert couldn't quite place it.

_"I used to work for you."_ As if aware of his thoughts, the voice gave him an answer. _"My brother and I were butlers in your service, 'my lord'. It's kind of funny, really… you'd invited the wolf inside and now he's knocking at the door again."_

Gilbert felt the lycanthrope's claws scratch his back. _"I know they won't take me back, even if I do this… I'm not pure. But I'm doing something good for the Legion. They'll remember the name Rudolph."_

Before Gilbert knew it, he was dead. It was much more awkward than he'd expected.

* * *

"EMIL, WAKE UP… please, wake up…"

Jenell wasn't sure why she was resting Emil's head on her lap, desperately trying to wake him. Emil was the closest thing that Jenell had to a friendly face in this cave—and he at least _tried_ to protect her from the invasion, even if it had been misguided. Jenell lightly slapped Emil on the face, trying to get some response from him.

As she did this, the black gauntlet on Emil's arm clenched and unclenched. Jenell didn't notice this—she also didn't notice the red rune written on the gauntlet in what was most-likely blood. The rune was Dark-Elven—if Emil had ever gone through the trouble to translate it he would know what it meant: 'UNDERWORLD'.

Jenell didn't have time to ponder this, though—she heard footsteps. She had no way of knowing if they were people of lycanthropes, but she could tell there were a few of them—was it Lamar and his cronies, here to finish her and Emil off?

_"Jenell…"_

Emil's voice caught Jenell off-guard. She looked down at the werewolf, his eyes half-closed and his forehead bruised from where Lamar kicked him. She shook him gently, trying to coerce him back to consciousness.

"Emil, please, wake up!" Was she crying? "Please, Emil, I need your help! EMIL!"

* * *

IT WAS FOUR MINUTES TO 1. Rattrap sniffed the air. She could vaguely smell incense ahead, mingled with squirrel-blood, tears, and the familiar stench of Emil. He was in the summoning chamber—something he'd been instructed to construct by his friends in the Council of 13.

"Are you leading us the right way?" Double D the mage's voice practically echoed in the spacious tunnels of the Lair. Sensing this, he lowered his voice. "This isn't a trap, is it?"

_"Lamar took all able-bodied troops with him to Spatzburg. There's nobody here except the elderly and pups."_ For a second, Rattrap questioned the wisdom in leading them to Emil of her own free will. She wasn't even tied up! Quietly, she _wished_ she had been.

"Can we stop for lunch?" Ed the Fighter asked vacantly. Being the tallest out of all of them, Ed's head had scraped against trees and collected many burs in it. Rattrap had noticed Eddy and Kevin snicker at this. Funny; despite the two seeming to hate each other, they had so much in common.

_"I can smell Emil in the chamber ahead."_ Rattrap pointed for emphasis and to make sure the idiots in the group knew what 'ahead' meant. _"It's a summoning room he uses to get supplies from the Council, like the moon-rocks we used to absorb magic."_

Before she could do anything, Rattrap was pushed aside by Eddy as he ran down the tunnel. Eddy's friends called out to him, but that didn't slow him down—he had been taught by Hopaol to take risks, no matter how great. Of course, Hopaol had a tendency to be sarcastic without seeming to be sarcastic, so Eddy couldn't tell if he was serious.

By the time he'd finished thinking this, he had reached the summoning chamber only to be greeted with a girlish scream: "EMIL!"

In almost an instant, Eddy found himself hurtling towards the chamber's wall. His back collided with the stone with a sickening _thud!_, enough force to make Eddy vomit a little. His eyes were blurry from vertigo, but when the colorful lights faded he was surprised at what he saw:

The lycanthrope, Emil, hung, suspended in the air by a black gauntlet on his arm. His eyes were strangely vacant—glassy, like a corpse's. Almost as if someone else was moving for him, the wolf turned his head on his side to examine Eddy. Then, as if he spoke with someone else's voice, he said:

_**I do not know you.**_

Eddy felt the pressure that kept him pinned to the wall release and he fell to the ground weakly. Out of the corner of his eye, Eddy saw his friends run through the entrance to the chamber ("Nice timing, guys…") only to stop when they saw Emil. A girl that looked disturbingly similar to Sarah, though much older, sat behind Emil in shock.

_**I do not know any of you, save the wererat. How odd… it is as if you are from another place…**_

"Give up, Emil!" Kevin pointed his sword at the werewolf dramatically and grinned. "You can't win! You're out—" The gauntlet snapped its fingers and thumb together, mirroring what Kevin's mouth quickly did. Kevin desperately tried to open his mouth only for the voice to laugh.

_**I am not Emil… I merely use him. It is a fail-safe built into the Master's Hand. Should its user be close to death, they can summon me to save themselves but once. That was the deal made when the clerics forged the glove.**_

Jenell shakily fell back, backing away on her hands and feet like a crab. "Please… who are you? Where's Emil?"

_**Merely sleeping,**_ the voice said calmly. _**As for whom I am… I have many names: The Judge of the Damned, the King of the Fields, and the Watcher in the Dark. Consider yourselves lucky, mortal—I am a god. I am Xeh'yx—god of the Underworld.**_

* * *

IT WAS ONE O'CLOCK. The streets of Spatzburg were abandoned. Citizens had fled into their houses (Not that this offered much protection) to hide from the lycanthrope invasion. Dozens of corpses littered every alleyway—sixteen of them sere lycanthropes.

The seventeenth lycanthrope was a tall, muscular man with a cat's head and fierce claws. His fur was bright-orange with black stripes covering his back. His opponent, Sir Bruce, was not well-traveled enough to know he was facing a weretiger—truly rare in this part of the world.

When I say 'facing', however, I don't mean fighting. I mean waiting for the other one to fight. The two stood opposite each other, watching the other carefully and waiting for them to make a move.

They had been like this for six minutes.

"Make the first move." Sir Bruce ordered impatiently. His joints were getting stiff from holding his fighting position for so long. The weretiger shook its head.

_"It's not in my code of honor to fight unless I've been attacked first."_ He explained. _"Please, you make the first move."_

"I'm a damn knight! I'm not allowed to make the first move!" Sir Bruce exclaimed as he relaxed. "Damn gallantry… look, could you just _please_ attack me? I promise I'll let you hit me!"

_"Well… no, I couldn't! My father taught me better!"_ The opponent growled angrily. _"Damn it! I wish we could just fight! You've killed my friends, but I'm not allowed to seek revenge…"_

Sir Bruce looked at the sixteen lycanthrope corpses that littered the streets—his handiwork. "Oh, I'm sorry." The apology was surprisingly honest. "If I just attack you, will it make you feel better?"

Before the weretiger could apologize, there was a loud bellow from the center of the town. With a gasp, the lycanthrope began running towards it. _"I've gotta go! Lamar's calling a retreat! Um… see you later!"_

The weretiger ran off, leaving Sir Bruce in the dust. This weretiger—a young man named Manfred—smiled to himself. The knight seemed nice enough; it was good that they hadn't fought. Maybe they could meet again someday under different circumstances.

Manfred arrived in the center of the town and was surprised to see that he and Lamar were the only ones there. There should at least have been two other lycanthropes—a werebear and a new recruit named Rudolph. With neither of them anywhere near, Manfred slowly became worried.

_"We need to get out of here."_ Lamar growled. _"There have been too many casualties… DAMN IT!"_ With a roar that shook the pillars of heaven, Lamar kicked the statue that the two had met under. His hoof left a cracked imprint in the statue's base. _"They're just humans! They shouldn't be able to do this!"_

The anger and frustration in Lamar's eyes made Manfred realize something—Lamar was sad. Thinking back to when Lamar's father ruled, Manfred remembered how much they both hated humans. But as Emil started to mature and learn human ways, Lamar's father had become more sympathetic.

Was Lamar doing this solely because he hated the humans? Was he angry that his father had changed and then named Emil the leader? Whatever weakness Lamar had shown, however, was quickly covered up by a stern anger.

_"Let's get out of here… this place ruined Emil and it's ruined me."_

If Manfred didn't know better, he'd think Lamar sounded tearful.

* * *

IT WAS ONE O'SIX. The voice of Xeh'yx had just made its revelation to the room. _**Don't act surprised,**_ he said through Emil's mouth. _**The mage has known my influence for a few days now.**_

Double D slowly looked down at his hand. To his horror, the mark had spread again—red runes now covered his entire hand and lower arm. The most frequent of these runes, though Edd did not know this, translated into 'UNDERWORLD'.

"Wait… you're the funny-talk guy!" Ed's words didn't make sense to those around him. "You came to me when I was asleep and told me pretty stories."

_**No, Confused One. I control the Underworld—not the passage to it. That job is tended to by another god of death. You spoke with the Cold One, an ageless god who has existed since before any universe.**_

"Why are you talking through Emil?" Jenell asked fearfully. _**I already told you. Ask something else.**_

"You mentioned a deal." Eddy pointed out. "What deal? Why are you inside the glove?"

_**Fool! I am using the glove to speak with you! As for the deal I mentioned, it is simple—13 artifacts were made ages ago by the Night Elves. A sacrifice was made to the gods to imbed each artifact with great magic. But it is dark magic—there is always a price to pay.**_

Double D was almost hesitant to ask what this price was. "What do you mean?" _**The mothers and fathers of those who led the ceremonies were the ones sacrificed. Their blood was used to write the runes.**_

"You still haven't answered the most-important question, buddy!" The angry voice made Edd chuckled—leave it to Sarah to act like that towards a god. "Why are you telling us all this?!"

The gauntleted hand pointed a metal finger at Edd. As soon as Double D realized this, he felt the marks on his arm burn with intense force.

_**This one interested me, **_Xeh'yx said calmly. _**Moons ago, he misread a spell and accidentally summoned an avatar in my service. I could tell he was not of this world, and thus I marked him—I marked him for study.**_

The word 'study' was almost accompanied by sinister music. It had all the clichéd horror of an old monster movie—the kind you felt like you should laugh at and yet you can't help screaming.

_**I want to see this one live. I marked him so I could watch him live out his life until he died—it's something of a hobby of mine. Gods have a lot of spare time on our hands.**_

Emil's body floated to the ground, led there by the Master's Hand. It was dragged along the crowd towards Double D. Edd backed away nervously but soon saw that the gauntlet had removed itself from Emil's arm.

_**You interest me, Mage,**_ The voice of Xeh'yx mused. _**I would very much like to see what happens before you die…**_

_"INTRUDERS!"_

Double D spun around and found himself face-to-face with two tons of fur and muscle—Lamar. Edd backed up quickly and found himself on the opposite end of the summoning circle—his friends had done the same without him noticing. There was only one problem:

Emil's body was still lying on the ground at Lamar's feet.

Lamar kicked at the motionless body angrily. _"Damned humans… you're always ruining everything!"_ With a feral scream, Lamar charged forward, straight towards Double D.

In a desperate attempt at defense, Edd raised his oaken staff to protect himself from the Wereboar. He searched the crevices of his mind for some defensive spell, but Lamar reached him before he could say a word. With a crushing blow, Lamar smashed into Double D.

The force of the lycanthrope knocked Edd to the ground and he found himself being trampled under Lamar's hooves. Weakly, the mage tried to lift his staff in the air to cast a spell—any spell. He found that, in each hand, he held two splintered halves of a wooden rod. He tossed the ex-staff aside and feebly stood up.

Sarah pulled the crossbow off of her belt and fired an arrow into Lamar's shoulder. The tip pierced his thick pelt and Lamar screamed in agony as he collapsed on the ground, blood leaking from the wound. In a matter of seconds, another arrow found itself pierced in Lamar's side.

As Lamar bellowed in pain, Eddy took the opportunity to do what a thief does best in battle: walk up behind the foe and stab them in the back. Eddy thrust his dagger in-between the lycanthrope's shoulders. He couldn't celebrate his victory, though—Lamar spun around on his waist and crashed his elbow into Eddy's temple.

_"How about the rest of you?!"_ Lamar stood up and glared at Kevin, Ed, and Sarah. Murder glistened in his yellow eyes. _"My invasion has failed and my brother has turned his back on me! I don't have any reason to value my life! I've got two arrows in me and a dagger in my back—why should I give up?!"_

He kept talking. Double D stared at him dizzily, trying to focus on him so he could do something. Lamar's back was turned to him—if he could get close to that dagger, he might be able to do something.

_**Fool.**_

Edd clenched and unclenched his hands. He suddenly realized that something was wrong with his right hand—the one that had been marked. He looked down and saw the Master's Hand had somehow slipped itself onto his arm. Double D curiously clenched and unclenched his gauntleted hand. It was warm; almost like it was alive.

_**Cast a spell, Mage.**_ "I don't have my staff." _**A staff? A staff is simply the tool used to gather and focus magical energy. You can use the hand for that, you idiot.**_ "Idiot?" _**Don't feel special—in the eyes of a god, all beings are idiots.**_

Kevin charged at Lamar with his sword at the ready. The Wereboar merely raised his arm and parried the sword. This daring move didn't leave him unscathed, though—there was a thick gash on the arm he had used to defend himself. Kevin continued trying to get through Lamar's defense; he would have, eventually, if Edd hadn't cast a spell.

The mage pointed his right hand at Lamar and closed his eyes. Through the gauntlet, he could sense the magical energy that everything in the cave gave off—the stone, the air, and the people all coexisted simply by existing. As he manipulated the magical energy, he forcefully said a single word:

**"TAO."**

Otherworldly vapors began forming around Lamar. The vapor swirled around the lycanthrope; it moved almost intelligently, like a living fog. Tendrils of the mist wrapped around Lamar's arms and legs. Lamar struggled to escape, but the mist was as strong as steel.

The heroes watched as a tendril of mist shot into Lamar's mouth. The lycanthrope tried to scream, but he was silenced by whatever force manipulated the fog. Lamar fell on his knees to the ground, desperately trying to breathe as the mist plugged up his nose and began seeping into his eyes and ears. A weak whimper escaped Lamar's dying throat before a sickening snapping sound.

And then he collapsed. Dead.

Kevin dropped his sword in surprise. He watched the mist slowly dissipate and watched as Lamar's body began returning to its human form. Kevin had never seen a man get killed before; he'd especially never seen a man get killed by the most pacifistic dork he'd ever known. Kevin quickly turned his head to Double D, who had collapsed on his knees in shock.

"Whoa."

Eddy's voice surprised Kevin. The guard turned to see that Eddy was not only awake but perfectly fine. Had he faked unconsciousness? "Did Double D just…?" he was unable to finish the sentence.

Eddy had never been able to imagine his best friend Edd would ever kill someone. In fact, when they had set out on this journey, Eddy had assumed that Edd wouldn't do much—maybe just stand in the back while Eddy and Ed did all of the work. But cold reality was lying right in front of him, and no matter how harsh it was Eddy knew he had to face facts:

They hadn't been chosen as heroes. They'd been chosen as killers.

* * *

Author's Notes: _And that wraps up this little story-arc. I hope you're all satisfied. There'll be another chapter that'll wrap it up for real and make way for the next story arc—it'll also show us what some old characters have been up to._

Next Time: They Call Me Patches


	14. They Call Me Patches

**They Call Me Patches**

_Author's Notes: Aw, Patches; that lovable ragdoll. He might become slightly less lovable in this chapter. Anyways, read and review!_

* * *

THE DARKNESS hung over Demogath like a really good metaphor. The Shadow Dragon didn't care about being alone in his castle—in fact, he preferred it. It was the only place he could technically go, anyways.

Thousands of years ago—before the Great Mage War and before any of these pitiful human kingdoms had risen—he had been Lrul; sorcerer and human. He had walked down a dark path to achieve his greatest desires and, ultimately, this was his reward—a completely new identity and a fatal allergy to the sun.

But his only friend had gotten it much worse; Betulorat, his ally and classmate, had been split in half by a devastating spell that left him completely insane and horribly disfigured. It had taken hundreds of years, but eventually Betulorat's body was fit enough to walk around—maybe even better than before. What was the end-result of this recovery? It was the creature descending a rope in-front of Demogath.

Patches slid down the rope playfully until it was at eye-lever with the massive dragon. "Ah, Demogath!" It took one hand off to wave and held onto the rope with his feet. "Thank you again for the pretty, young test subject! You know how much I enjoy experimenting on women!"

Demogath grunted—for Patches, 'test subject' and 'victim' were practically synonyms. **"We may need her. Have you killed her, Patches?"**

Patches rubbed his chin thoughtfully. It killed half-a-dozen people a day in variously entertaining ways. "It's hard to say…" it pondered. "Girls don't last long in my labs—I can't help myself. I just love taking them apart! Like the dolls I had when I was a kid…"

The last sentence showed a brief glimpse of what was left of Betulorat.

"Even if she is dead, it shouldn't be a problem to bring her back, better than ever!" The monster guffawed madly as it slid further down its rope. It skittered back up to Demogath's eye-level. "If she _is_ dead, you'll have to forgive me. A woman's body is a beautiful thing… BUT THE HEAD IS USELESS!"

It laughed at this—it laughed at everything. On some days, Demogath was amused by this. This wasn't one of those days. Demogath roared loudly and Patches immediately shut up.

**"This is no time for games, Patches."** He chastised. **"There's an obstacle in our path; someone new is wearing the Master's Hand."**

Patches gave a mock gasp before giggling like a school-child. Demogath merely scowled at it and continued.

**"I've been watching from Emil's shadow. He has been betrayed by one of his own…"** Demogath closed his eyes thoughtfully, giving Patches ample opportunity to make faces. **"More disturbing, a young mage now wears the gauntlet. Patches, ready your summoning circle. Find Emil and bring him back here—alive or dead."**

* * *

THE MOON set over Spatzburg, letting the sun illuminate everything on the distant horizon. It was the brief moment in the morning when the moon and the sun were exactly opposite each other. Colors mingled as the sun rose up to take its place back in the sky.

Despite all that had happened the previous night, life went on. Groups of people walked about the town to carry off corpses while hunters hesitantly entered the woods to search for food. Shop-keepers opened their stores, knowing perfectly well that the Baron had died last night. A new ruler would have to be chosen in a few days; and, since Jenell was a woman, the title would no doubt go to the Baron's nephew, Sir Johan of Spatzburg.

Johan was an open supporter of the Legion der Reinheit.

* * *

A FOREST surrounded Spatzburg. If one were to walk two miles into the forest, they would come across a cave. If they entered the cave before the events of last night, they would have been torn apart.

Today, however, all of the marauders who had attacked Spatzburg were dead or missing—due in part to one sock-headed mage. Emil had awoken, heavily bruised, and issued an order to his remaining kin to rest for the night. He had graciously taken his saviors to his Den—a comfortably furnished den with plenty of hay and wooden furniture.

The werewolf himself, returned to his human form, sat on a wooden stool, much like his guests. They had been like this for the past two hours—they had been talking. Emil had explained himself; he had been grudgingly forgiven by the Heroes; and he had attempted to make polite conversation with them. The only ones who didn't talk were the mage who now wore the Master's Hand and the Slayer Sarah.

"I guess we should cut to the chase." Kevin adjusted himself as best he could on the wooden stool. "You're a member of the Council of 13—if you can tell us anything it would be a big help."

Emil smiled, exposing a missing tooth from the beating he had taken. "I'm not sure I'm a member anymore. This whole thing has come as something of an epiphany. I can tell you anything you need."

Sarah glared at Emil angrily. "I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Can I leave?" Ed gasped in horror at this.

"But dad will be home any minute!" Emil and Jenell were the only ones who stared at him in confusion. The others had stopped questioning Ed by now.

Emil looked from Ed to Sarah. "If your father will be here, it might be best for you to wait." He pointed out. "Is he a part of this?"

Eddy smirked. "Yeah—he's King Lawrence. Can't you tell the similarity between him and Ed?" The in-joke was lost on Emil who, aside from Spatzburg and the Council's headquarters, didn't get out much.

"Demogath's castle is in a place called the Waste." Emil answered the unasked question that hung in the air. "It's on the other side of the world—on the continent of Sentou. His minion, Patches, has a series of laboratories guarding the border to the Waste. Each of the labs is connected by a series of tunnels and the tunnels ultimately lead to Demogath's castle." Eddy and Kevin chuckled at the minion's name.

"His name is Patches?" Eddy asked with a laugh. "Who's his sister, Raggedy Ann?" Emil didn't get this joke, either. A dark smile appeared on his face, though, showing a desire to laugh at the horrible.

"Patches is insane. When I first went to Demogath's lair, Patches tossed a human head at me and then laughed when I screamed. It turns out that it hadn't even been a human head—Patches had just stretched the skin until it looked that way. The second time I went there, Patches had skinned a person alive and was wearing the flesh like a suit. Patches is the most subhuman thing on the earth—it's an 'it', not a he."

The disturbing imagery silenced Eddy. He looked around the room at everyone else's reactions—only Double D seemed unaffected. He sat with his arms on his legs, looking down on the ground in a perpetual mope.

Jenell raised her hand politely. "Um… Emil, how can you just quit the Council of 13? It seems like they're not the type to accept resignations." Emil was almost speechless; Jenell actually cared about him.

"I'm sure I'll be fine." He almost whispered. "Demogath can be very understanding."

Occasionally, people say stupid things without realizing it. Things like, 'To form a more perfect union' or 'Is our children learning'. Emil, despite a certain amount of wisdom, did not realize that he had just said one of these things. Instead, he simply shined the idiotic grin that one always did after they put both feet in their mouth.

"I don't know exactly how to get to the castle." He admitted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "If you want to figure that out, I suggest you find someone called Gaping Jaw. He lives near the city of Frontport. I've heard that he and Patches are the only ones with a direct link to Demogath. Most likely, you'll be able to get information out of him."

The name of the city sounded familiar to Kevin, but he dismissed it as a case of déjà vu. Eddy stood and dusted off his pants. "Well, thanks for the info." He said with a stretch and a yawn. "Now, I don't know about you guys, but I'm starved. I say we got get some food and then _sleep._"

It was a motion that was generally agreed to. Double D, however, merely sighed. "I'm not very hungry." He muttered weakly. "I think I'm just going to take a walk."

Eddy scoffed skeptically. "What, are you nuts?" He asked. "We haven't eaten or slept in hours. I, for one, am going to have a heaping helping of… _whatever_ it is they serve at our Inn. It's hard to tell, really."

Kevin was not as emotionally retarded and he slapped Eddy on the back of the head. After an angry conversation that involved serious cussing (And some Orc cuss words that Kevin had picked up from Raff), the heroes left. Jenell followed them out, leaving Edd alone with Emil.

* * *

AS THE KING OF ALL he surveyed, King Lawrence Lion-heart III was a well-traveled man. At least, he was well-traveled enough in his kingdom of Euronia—the lands beyond his kingdom were a mystery to him. But he was well-traveled enough to know fine entertainment when he saw it: and he was seeing it.

A city guard whose name Lawrence had forgotten claimed he was able to jump on an egg without breaking it. Upon hearing this, the king invited the guard to entertain him and his dead wife Amelia.

The guard stood before a freshly-hatched chicken egg, prepping himself for his feat. Lawrence looked to his dead wife's perfectly preserved corpse in hopes of seeing a smile; no such luck.

The man made his jump, hopping over the egg. He looked down and made the jump yet again, with the same result. Finally, he calculated all variables he could think of and made the jump…

…Hopping over the egg, barely touching it.

"There. I did it." The egg-hopper bowed to the king and his collection of heavily armed guards. "I jumped onto the egg."

King Lawrence looked at the guard, confused. "Really?" "Yes. Really." "Looked to me like you just kind of hopped over it." "No, sire, I'm one-hundred percent sure that I jumped onto that egg."

The king snapped his fingers and one of the on-duty guards approached the egg. He picked it up and, carefully inspecting it, came to this conclusion: "Um… well, he kind of touched it, sire, but—"

The performer laughed loudly as if to mock the king for never technically disagreeing with him. Then, in one abrupt second, he turned and ran out of the throne-room. None of the guards had enough time to react. Only the king was able to exclaim:

"WAIT! YOU FORGOT YOUR EGG!"

This was met with perhaps the most valid argument in this history of all time: "I don't want it anymore!" The now ex-guard yelled back as he ran. "It's been jumped on!"

Elsewhere in the palace, something far more significant to the plot was happening. King Lawrence, the delusional psychopath that he was, occasionally forgot that he had a daughter, the Princess Isabella. He had once forgotten that he had a wife, and that had led to her poisoning and mummification.

Isabella was accustomed to taking walks throughout the castle to check on the servants and to make sure that her father hadn't illegalized living again. By the rules set forth when her mother was alive, however, she had to have a guard escort—unfortunately for her, that was the half-orc Raff.

As was customary for orcs and half-orcs when they came of age, they believed they knew better than any other species and their advice should be listened to at all times. The advice usually amounted to 'Invade dis place. Smash it up good. It'll solve all'a yar problums'.

Of course, as a half-orc who had been raised in a civilized society, Raff's advice was a little better. The advice he was giving Isabella was the kind that only the greatest of Orc Shamans could give:

"A sammich ain't gotta have the crust; you can cut it off." He said simply. Isabella didn't know how they had reached that topic; a second earlier they were discussing the Witches of Sand'A'Tun and… oh, she got it now. The big lug was never able to put together a basic sentence.

"You misunderstood me, Raff. Kevin and his friends will have to pass through Sand'A'Tun to reach the Council of 13. It's going to be a perilous journey." The princess sighed; it was a mixture of frustration and worry. "My father's done stupid things in the past but sending them out without an escort was the worst."

Raff scoffed. "Kevin ain't got nothin' to worry about! He's one of the City Guards! And he's got a freakin' mage with 'im!" Magic had always fascinated the half-orc; but he lacked the brain-power and determination to become a mage. As he could not experience it himself, he was always in awe of those who could bend magic to their will.

Isabella, however, was not as confident.

"We may need to find some way to contact them, Raff. If the Mage's College was back on its feet by now I'd ask them to send a message; as it is, however, I fear we'll have to send someone from the Guild of Messengers." Raff stopped dead in his tracks at the mention of the guild's name.

"Oy! Guild of Messengers?!" The look on his face was one of both shock and distrust; something hard to muster with his heavily-muscled face. "Nobody trusts them bleeders! Why ya think eve'ryone uses magic to send messages?!"

Isabella knew that Raff's mistrust was well-based. Despite its seemingly harmless name, the Guild of Messengers was the most secretive of the kingdom's guilds. She had heard tales of darkly-lit rooms in which letters were sorted by men in navy-blue robes. It was said that the guild worshipped Exelius, God of Speed, and was almost no different from a cult…

But it was the best option. "The Guild is made up of good people." She said to Raff finally. "We can trust them. We have to."

Raff scoffed—an oddly intellectual action for him. "You're just doing this because ya wanna sleep with Kevin."

* * *

TO SAY THAT Sir Johan of Spatzburg was a bit haughty would be… well, entirely accurate. The knight dressed in the finest clothing from Venezia. His short, red hair shined like glass in the late-morning sun. His tunic was emblazoned with a golden eagle in prospective, carrying arrows in one talon and lightning in another.

Sir Johan held the honor of being the only knight to come from the settlement of Spatzburg. Of course, once he became a knight he had no reason to stay in such a place. The knight spent most of his time in the city of Vasylvania, where one could over-indulge to their heart's content. The only reason he had asked a mage to teleport him back home was because of a tiny complication:

Baron Gilbert was dead. Sir Johan would say it was a pity, if he had ever liked the old fart. But their ideals just didn't match up as Johan had wanted them to. As Johan stood in Spatzburg manor, watching an Acolyte of Death prepare Gilbert's body for a funeral, no thoughts of mourning went through his mind: only plans for tomorrow.

The door to Gilbert's room opened; this would have surprised Johan, if he were an idiot. Ironically, though, an idiot opened the door, and a deep, guffawing voice proclaimed: "Whoa! There's a room back here!"

The knight turned to see his cousin, Jenell, and what appeared to be a young clone of her dressed in the attire of Yybell. Accompanying his cousin was also a tall, red-haired young man in a black gi and a shorter man in a hood and cloak.

Jenell looked from her father's deathbed to Johan, who did his best to fake sympathy for her. It seemed to take a few seconds for the cold reality to catch up: as if she tried to avoid the cruel truth. When reality finally caught her, bitter tears began to leak from her eyes.

The short… boy (?) in the hood approached Jenell and tried to comfort her. At first, Johan thought this was sincere; however, he could tell he was merely faking it to be polite. The identical girl, however, actually seemed apologetic towards Jenell—she put her hand on her shoulder as she wept.

The tall boy in the gi, however, simply stared at Gilbert's corpse obliviously. In fact, if Johan weren't mistaken, he could see the young man's lips move slightly and could make out words under his cousin's sobbing. Apparently, he really _was_ an idiot.

"I understand that you'll need some time to deal with your loss." Sir Johan smirked inwardly at his act. "However, I must be off; there are some forms to be filled out before I can take charge." Eddy looked at the knight in confusion.

"What do you mean _you_ take charge? Who the heck are you, anyways?"

Whenever Johan was faced with someone like this, he either beheaded them or calmly corrected them, depending on the circumstances. As he was not in Frontport and couldn't get away with cutting someone's head off, he decided to correct the runt instead.

"My name is Sir Johan Von Spatzburg: nephew to the late Baron Gilbert Von Spatzburg, who you see laid before you." He said the last bit to make sure they realized that Baron Gilbert was not only dead, but also laid before them, as blindness was rampant in the small settlements to the East and West of Spatzburg. These towns were so famous for their blindness that they had earned names like 'Blindshire', 'Sightless Woods', and 'The Unseeing City of People in Trees' which, ironically, is actually located in a large plain with no trees in sight.

The knight continued: "As the Baron's closest living male relative, I am set up to inherit this small piece of land. I'll probably have to class it up a bit, of course; help bring in some business." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he pondered this. To Eddy, he looked almost like a Bond villain. To Jenell, who was somewhat less familiar with the Bond Series, he merely looked like a man rubbing his chin… sinisterly, though; and without a goatee.

"The Lycanthrope problem will need to be taken care of, too. I should be able to hire some muscle to clean up that mess, since the Slayers certainly aren't doing much lately. I heard one of them was actually a bear. Can you believe it?" He laughed, not knowing the company he was in.

Jenell heard the words that her cousin said in-between her bitter sobs and this slapped her out of her sorrow. Only an idiot could mistake what Johan was saying with harmless talk, and even Ed was smart enough to have an inkling of the looming threat. Jenell stared at her cousin with her red, puffy eyes.

"Johan, you can't be thinking of k…" She found it hard to finish the sentence. It was obvious, of course, what she would have said. Johan smiled politely; Eddy almost vomited in his mouth when he saw this.

"Who wants to go to a town surrounded by Lycans? They're filthy, disease-spreading animals. Frankly, this is the cleanest bet against the hairy bastards."

There's something about the word 'clean' that is just sinister. The process of eradicating something to the point where there is nothing left but lemon-fresh artificial pine-wood scent is just disturbing, no matter what it is.

Johan did not seem to share this philosophy. He continued to smile politely, ignorant to the fact he was in the company of a Werewolf.

"I'm guessing you're in that Legion der Reinheit?" Eddy had guessed this not only from the way Johan talked but also from a general distrust of anyone who seemed German.

Johan's smile changed from smug politeness to condescending modesty—an oxymoronic expression that only a complete asshole can pull off. "My group is small but well-known. Already, we have a division in Vasylvania. I imagine it won't be long until we become a force to be reckoned with, especially with me as Baron."

Johan's smug attitude would have suffocated everyone in the room if they hadn't left when they did. Well, perhaps not Eddy—with his constantly cocky personality he could have lasted a few more minutes, tops. But leave they did, leaving Johan to pretend he cared about his uncle.

Why should he? His uncle was dead.

* * *

DOUBLE D SAT silently, something not all that hard to do. He had walked as far away as he could from the cave and, when he couldn't see it anymore, he had sat down on a stump—but not before cleaning it off properly.

As a pacifist, Edd had never hit someone, let alone killed them. Sure, there was that incident when he had somehow mortally wounded everyone in the school, but those had been accidents!

Wait… had they?

Edd wasn't one to ponder if there was a guiding hand poking around with everyone's destiny, but he had to face facts: he had spoken to a god. Either that or he was horribly insane. For his own sake he decided he was as sane as his therapist back home said he was.

Still, the fact was that everything he knew about the universe's structure was wrong. It wasn't a chaotic mishmash of atoms that conveniently formed a universe, like an ink-blot forms a butterfly. It was highly possibly that someone created it, or had at least come along and brought order to it.

But what did this mean? Was this world the only one with gods, or did his have them too? That would certainly explain things like religious war, natural disasters, and 'Mind of Mencia' somehow having two seasons. But blaming everything, good and bad, on gods just didn't make sense…

Finally, Edd decided the simplest way to deal with all of this was to continue being an atheist. It made everything so much simpler.

Out of fear of what he might see, Edd had left the Master's Hand on—who knew what changes his arm had gone under while he wore this tool of power? Already, he could feel the tingling of his flesh as the marks on his arm burned with power; the pounding of his heart as he experienced that energy rushing through him; the lips on his neck that he was fairly certain had nothing to do with the Master's Hand.

In a shock, Edd spun around and found himself face-to-face with Rattrap. While he was lost in thought, the girl had snuck up on him and… the young made shuddered. For some reason, this wasn't all that thrilling for him; possibly because he'd seen the beautiful young woman before him turn into a rat.

"You know, there's nobody around for a while." Rattrap's flirtatious smile turned Edd's face into a tomato. He gulped nervously, a reflexive gesture from whenever Nazz had…

Edd's eyes widened in surprise when he thought the name 'Nazz'. There was a response, deep in his mind—one that worried him deeply. It was like watching someone get their teeth pulled out or those internet skateboarding videos that always go horribly wrong. It was Déjà vu's twisted cousin; it was the anti-Schadenfreude.

He could tell that Nazz was in trouble. Perhaps it was an extension of his powers or perhaps it was something else, but he could just sense that there was something wrong. He tried to do everything he could to suppress this horrible feeling, but no such luck.

The feeling that Nazz was in danger, coupled with his feelings of guilt and depression, were almost enough to bring Edd to tears. The only thing that seemed to stop him was fear of embarrassment around Rattrap. In a moment of weakness, his eyes glassy and his mouth hung open, Edd looked at Rattrap. Without knowing what he was doing, he and Rattrap kissed.

The random emotions of grief and fear had brought on Double D's first impulsive moment. It was random and, when looked at closely, actually shouldn't have created that outcome. But it did; just like an ink-blot makes a butterfly.

Edd drew away slowly; he was confused about why he had just done that. He backed away and started to walk back towards the Den; he needed to think about all of this.

Rattrap merely watched and smiled.

* * *

EMIL SLEPT. He slept like he was a newborn pup. He had everything he could ever hope for—Jenell cared for him, and there might be a possibility for peace between his people and the town of Spatzburg.

Everything shattered when he opened his eyes.

The ragtag face that stared at him with a permanent smile almost caused him to scream. As Patches stared him right in the eyes, a cold sweat began to run down Emil's back. Patches' eyes were like a snake's, but the black of the pupils was as haunting as a doll's eyes. They seemed to be attached to some flesh and muscle underneath the patched-together flesh.

"Oh, Emil, are you awake or are you having a nightmare?" Patches asked this as if it was a mother checking on her son. "You should pinch yourself to make sure you're awake, dear boy."

When Emil didn't pinch himself, Patches' jolly voice took an almost angry turn: "Listen up, runt-of-the-litter! Demogath wants you brought back. You lost the hand, sonny! That was bad, bad, bad! Of course, he said I could bring you back alive or dead; what do you prefer?"

Emil sat up, frightened and weak. Patches continued to answer for a few seconds before whispering something: "You didn't answer, Emil; alive or dead?"

Before the lycanthrope could open his mouth, Patches tossed him against the cave wall with a sickening thud. "TOO LATE!" Patches laughed insanely as it grabbed Emil by his hair and, easy as pie, he tossed Emil into the stone head-first.

When Emil crumpled to the floor, blood followed him down. Patches clapped its hands as if it were at a children's game.

It picked Emil up over its shoulder and chuckled. "Come along now, wolfy! Hmm? Is that a heartbeat? Well, we'll just head over to my place and take care of that." Patches slowly began walking out of the cave chamber and towards the summoning circle he had come from.

Despite the added weight of an adult lycanthrope, Patches moved at an alarming speed. It bounded with little regard for the safety of its captive or its own legs. It moved like the inflatable standees in-front of car dealerships, not that he would know that.

Finally, Patches reached the summoning chamber; the circle still hummed from when he had entered just a few minutes ago. Patches tossed Emil's limp body into the center of the circle, which began to crackle with electricity.

It wouldn't teleport anyone until Patches stepped in the circle. After all, he had the ticket.

"What are you doing?"

Patches turned around and found itself facing Edd. The creature looked at the mage's hand and laughed; the Master's Hand on the mage's hand! It was like lyrics to a song!

Edd glared at the Patches and pointed his gauntlet at it; then, he hesitated. Memories of last night flooded into his brain. He lowered the gauntlet, fearing the bloodshed that might ensue.

Patches looked at the action quizzically. "Oh, why doesn't the mage blast me to bits? Are you scared, little mage? Scared of big, bad Patches?"

Where had Edd heard that name before?

Before Edd could answer Patches' mocking, the doll-like monster did a back-flip into the circle. Flames of crimson light erupted from the markings drawn on the ground, fluctuating; sometimes the waves of light were as high as Edd himself.

Edd reached his hand into the summoning circle, only for Patches to move forward and grab it. In one sudden move, it pulled Edd into the circle and grinned at him menacingly.

"Oh! Do you want to come with me, little mage?!"

Edd struggled to get freed. But, each time he pulled, Patches tightened its grip. Edd searched his mind for a spell: a word of power that he could use to save himself. One came to mind. In desperation, he screamed it:

"J'KE—"

The light intensified, rising to the chamber's ceiling. Behind the veil, there were sounds like thousands of hornets raging. And then, when the light of the summoning faded, the circle was empty.

Three had entered; three were gone.

* * *

Author's Notes: _Well, that was fun._

Next Time: Chapter 15


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

* * *

"—HM!"

Edd's eyes were blinded with bright-red vertigo. His spell hadn't taken affect; it had been lost on the magic currents as he was teleported. Slowly, the red blurs became differently-colored blurs, and eventually they stopped being blurs altogether.

He was underground—that much was obvious. He was in some sort of cavern but… something was off. Bright, green globs of… something were suckered onto the walls, floors, and ceilings; each glob gave off a bright glow to illuminate the path. Were they some sort of fungus?

_Weakling._

Edd picked up a piece of rock and examined it closely. It was some sort of bright-red stone. Hadn't he just been in a cave? Damn it, if he saw any more stone his head would explode.

_No friends. Scrawny._

… Slowly, Edd walked down through the cavern and eventually found himself in what resembled a large… theatre? That was odd. Why would anyone build a theatre in a cavern? Edd approached the stage slowly, as if it might attack him.

As if someone saw him, a figure stepped out from behind that ragtag curtain that looked strangely familiar. With a gasp, Edd backed away and tripped over a stool set in front of the stage.

_KILLER!_

Lamar's rotting corpse stood on the stage, grinning a vaudeville smile at Edd. _"I see we have a full house tonight!"_ Lamar said pleasantly. _"Might I have a volunteer come on stage for my first performance?"_

There was nobody else except Edd. Before he knew it, Ed and Eddy were dragging him onstage and throwing him in front of Lamar.

_"Okay, now we'll begin!"_ Lamar's skin was green and rotted, like a five-month-old burger. He seemed stuck between his human form and his Wereboar form, something that made him all the more disturbing.

Lamar helped Edd up and then, with no warning, tossed him across the stage. Edd screamed in horror as the corpse approached him. _"What's the matter, dork? This is all part of the act! All for show, as they say!"_

Edd reached for the nearest weapon he could find, only to produce… a dodgeball. In desperation, he tossed it at Lamar. Getting up to run, he slammed into a concrete wall.

_"Ready…"_

Flashbacks of childlike terror went through Edd's mind. He turned around, and found what he feared most; he was eleven again, and a group of children stood before him. Each held one of the rubber balls of death he had come to loathe in his life.

_"Aim…"_

Edd tried to close his eyes, but through his eyelids he could make out the outlines of his aggressors. He cringed tightly and opened his eyes. He suddenly discovered that they weren't standing on a playground anymore, but rather the cliff that overlooked the old, dried up creek back home.

If those dodgeballs hit him…

The children drew back their arms. Every one of them looked like Kevin.

_"FIRE!"_

* * *

KEVIN WAS ASLEEP. Honestly, who could blame him? He had stayed up all of last night fighting lycanthropes (Mostly losing to them, but fighting nonetheless) and now he deserved his sleep. The fact that he was still wearing most of his armor didn't bother him in the least.

Someone had entered the room and tried to wake the young warrior up. A nudge against Kevin's face made him smile slightly. Suddenly being hit over the head by a chair woke him up completely.

Kevin got up angrily and glared at the person who had hit him. It was a young man who looked vaguely familiar; not that he could tell where from. When Kevin asked why he had been hit with a chair, the intruder claimed that he had 'startled him'. This made sense until Kevin remembered that he had been asleep.

"I suppose you don't recognize me." The young man shrugged politely. "Then again, we only met once. My name is Manfred; I'm the one you helped carry that pot of incense."

Kevin remembered the event, but slowly. He was still tired and it had been a few days ago; plus, it had seemed so insignificant at the time.

"You most-likely didn't know this at the time, but I am a lycanthrope; indeed, I was one of the attackers the previous night." Kevin glared at Manfred suspiciously when he said this.

"I thought all of the marauders were dead." His voice was heavy with warning. Manfred, despite killer animal instinct, didn't pick this up.

"I was in a stand-still versus that knight who just left town." Manfred explained calmly. "It was a very long stand-still. Before you say anything, I only killed those who attacked me first. That is my code of honor. It is what my father taught me."

What Manfred didn't know was that his father, particularly in his later years, was horribly insane with a bizarre 'honor' fixation. In fact, what Manfred's father believed to be honor was actually, for lack of a better term, stupidity. It is not dishonorable for someone to be referred to by their middle name, despite Manfred's father's beliefs. However, despite beginning to hear mocking laughter coming from rocks, he still passed these morals onto Manfred.

Kevin still gave Manfred a scrutinous eye, despite what Manfred believed to be a logical argument.

"Alright… what do you want?" Manfred smiled the dark smile of a messenger.

"I couldn't return to the den. Not after what I did last night. I wandered the woods for a while this morning when, suddenly, I sensed something. It was a shimmer—kind of like when a magical force has been disturbed. It usually happens when a mage goes through a summoning circle."

Kevin stared at Manfred for a few seconds. The look on his face was curious but at the same time asked the universal question 'Why is this my problem?'. Sighing, Manfred elaborated.

"Your friend is gone. One moment, I could tell he was there and the next—poof! There was nothing left except echoes of echoes. Um… are you falling asleep?" "No, no. I'm awake."

Manfred nodded half-heartedly. Despite Kevin claiming to be wide awake, he had crawled back into bed and closed his eyes. Manfred watched him calmly for a few minutes, wondering what he should do.

"Um… okay. I just thought you should know." He blinked.

* * *

DOUBLE D HAD taken off all of his clothes. He couldn't remember why. It was either because they had caught on fire or he had made love to… someone whose face he couldn't remember. He wandered down the stone catacombs; his head was clear for the first time in hours.

The things he had been seeing clearly weren't there. The reenactment of the dodgeball incident should have told him that, but something impaired his logic. It wasn't until five minutes ago that his head began to clear and he realized what was going on.

With a clear head, hallucinations are easy to spot. That being said, Double D (And no one else, for that matter) didn't have a clear head when he had begun to hallucinate. He had believed everything to be real. He had to take advantage of his clear head to find out what had happened.

The green, luminous blobs annoyed him. He had no idea why—they just did. Most-likely, they were some sort of fungus. Could that be the source of the hallucinations? If it were, then wouldn't he still be… well, crazy? Experimenting, he stooped down next to one of the blobs and inhaled.

It was strong; grassy, bitter, like the worst things about summer. But, as Edd stood up, he realized his head was still clear. So, what then, was making him hallucinate?

His eyes widened as he smelled it—a horrible, dirty smell just like rotten eggs. Could it be sulfur? Was that poisonous? He couldn't remember… odd. Usually, he could remember stuff like that. Whatever it was, it stank… it stank so familiar… and, combined with the smell from the green blobs…

Edd fell down a pit that he could have sworn wasn't there before. He screamed, or at least tried to before hands of the dead sprouted from the wall. The dead grabbed his mouth and arms, silencing him—they tugged him in every direction.

The blackness enveloped Edd, creating a robe of purest night. He tried to scream, but one of the hands punished him by cutting a scar on his forehead. Then, at the peak of the pain and horror, with buckets of blood pouring from his head…

A scenic cabin. It was almost like a picture by a naive idealist hoping to create the life they had been denied. Edd sat at a table—across from him sat his father, in a 50's leisure suit and carrying a hickory pipe.

_"Well, Edd, you've certainly gotten yourself into a pickle, haven't you?"_ Edd's father smiled jestingly at his son, prompting a smile from Edd. _"Don't worry; you'll find a way out of it. You're resourceful."_

Edd looked around slowly, as if afraid something would happen. When nothing did, he looked back at his dad. "Father… what's happening to me? Am I going mad?"

_"Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here."_ Edd's father answered rather matter-of-factly as he took the pipe out of his mouth._ "I'm mad. You're mad."_

Edd stared at his father for several seconds before standing up. "Father, this isn't the time for quotes! Could you please tell me what's happening?!"

_"Why is a raven like a writing-desk?"_

Edd stared as his father looked at him expectantly. Or was it his mother? Or Eddy? The face kept changing, but the body and voice stayed the same.

_"Are you the dreamer, or merely part of somebody else's dream?"_

* * *

EMIL OPENED HIS EYES, waking from a cross between a dream and a hangover. Where was he? What was that smell? It stank like death and pain and ropes.

Well, actually, the stench of ropes was easily explained. Emil was tied down to a slab of rock—and not the comfortable kind, like he had slept on back home in Spatzburg Forest. It took Emil several seconds to gather that he was in an underground chamber. Some sort of green, luminous fungus hung on the ceiling over him, illuminating his limited view.

"Master Patches, he's awake!"

The voice was shrill and scratchy. Emil imagined that, if broken glass could talk, it could sound like that. He could not see who had spoken—they were behind him, where they could watch in comfort without seeing his face.

Emil tried to lift his head only for a familiar, felt hand to grab it and ease it back onto the stone. In a second, Patches jumped onto the stone and turned so that it was crouching over Emil. "Hello, wofly. How are you? Did you sleep soundly, wofly?"

Patches looked at Emil expectantly and, upon not getting an answer, sighed in frustration and slapped him across the face.

"You should talk to me, Emil! The only person I've got to talk to in this hellhole is Junior and, well…" Patches looked up and stared at someone judgingly. "To be perfectly frank, he's got a few bats in his belfry."

Emil heard the voice laugh and deduced almost instantly that it belonged to 'Junior', whoever the hell that was. Calmly, Emil looked Patches in the eyes. When this became too disturbing, he looked Patches in the forehead.

"What do you want from me, Patches?" Emil tried his best not to show any emotion, but panic crept into his voice. "Did you hear I was going to quit the Council? P-Please, just let me talk to D—"

Emil barely had time to gasp as Patches reached into his mouth and grabbed his tongue, silencing him. "No, we just thought you were dead; but planning on early _retirement?_ Now, I think that deserves some punishment! Don't you, Junior?"

"I'm a log!"

Patches nodded profoundly at its assistant's comment. "Yes, I think so, too, Junior!" Looking down at its captive, the monster's smile seemed to widen—if that was possible. "Junior and I agree on _everything!_ That's why he's my personal aid! In fact, why don't we ask Junior what your punishment should be?"

The assistant's voice shrieked out an answer to the unasked question: "Well, Master Patches, I'd hate to tell an artist how to paint—I should let you decide. But, if I had to pick… let's cut him open and make him eat his own guts. That'll be fun!"

Patches pondered this for a moment. Looking at its eyes, even the mentally ill would have been able to tell that it wasn't pondering the ethics of the decision.

"Yes, that sounds alright. A little generic for someone like Emil, though." Patches shrugged and grinned. "Ah, well. JUNIOR, FETCH ME THE KNIVES!" With melodramatic flourish, Patches screamed this and pumped its fist into the air. "TONIGHT, EMIL FEASTS! Tomorrow… I don't know, how about we turn him into a troll?"

* * *

EDD SAT ON A hill made out of skulls almost calmly as he pondered what he was seeing. Obviously, this horrible, bloody aftermath of a war was a hallucination, seeing as he had just been in Chicago not 20 minutes ago. However, knowing it was fake didn't make it any less real to experience.

"The hallucinations have been getting longer and longer." Double D said nonchalantly to a nearby raven. "The moments of sanity have been growing gradually shorter. How long have I been like this? Is time a hallucination, too? Am I going crazy?"

_"Most-likely, Clarence,"_ quoth the raven.

"I thought so." Edd nodded at the raven's response. "But isn't part of being sane questioning your sanity? Hmm… I must be perfectly sane! Yes, that's it!" The Ed let out a perfectly sane laugh and laid back into the skulls. "This all makes sense, now! These are the workings of a rational mind! I'm _**NOT CRAZY, DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU DUMB BIRD?!**_"

_"Loud and clear, Clarence,"_ quoth the raven.

Edd smiled and decided that his first act of being perfectly sane would be to find a nice dog to talk to. Then he would go about sending cryptic letters to his family, detailing a perfectly sane conspiracy theory involving the Pope and the MIB. After all, he was perfectly sane, and that's what perfectly sane people did!

Soon, he got tired of being perfectly sane and decided to take a shot at being crazy. Surprisingly, this was much more sensible given that everything around him seemed to have made the same decision.

"H_e_l_l_o, _D_o_u_b_l_e _D_."

The voice shocked Edd. He hadn't heard anything like it in… well, he wasn't sure how long. The voice was familiar but something was definitely off about it. Perhaps the fact that it belonged to a giant version of Nazz that stood in front of him.

Nazz looked exactly the same, except for the 'towering over you' thing. In fact, she looked better than Double D remembered. Something about her stood out from the hallucinations and mirages that surrounded him—like the thin line on a person in front of a green-screen.

"I _wasn't_ s_u_r_p_r_i_s_e_d _to_ _f_i_n_d _you_ h_e_r_e_." Nazz admitted with a small, sad smile. "I _knew_ y_ou_'d _come_. I_t'_s _going_ to _be_ h_ar_d _for_ me _to_ ex_pla_in _how_, b_u_t _I_… s_a_w _it_. E_ve_r _since_ a _few_ w_ee_ks _ago_ I_'v_e _seen_ th_in_gs. T_hi_s _is_ the _first_ t_im_e _I've_ had _anyone_ to _talk_ to, _though._"

Edd stared at the giant Nazz skeptically. For a second, he thought that it was just another hallucination—but something was different. His mind tingled in a way he hadn't experienced before. Like someone had reached in through his eyes and poked his brain. For confirmation, he looked down at the raven.

_"She's real, Clarence,"_ quoth the raven.

Nazz's sad eyes watered up. "_I'm s_o ha_ppy_ to se_e so_meo_ne. I_'ve b_een_ alo_ne. T_hey _did_ som_eth_ing _hor_rib_le t_o me, _Dou_ble _D. I do_n't know what, _but I don't feel the same_. I can think, but I can't see or talk or move… _am I dead?"_

The idea of Nazz being dead was too much for Double D to comprehend. However, if she was communicating with him right now…

"Nazz, you're not dead." He said simply. He had no idea where he found the courage in his voice. "The others and I are going to rescue you. When we do, you're going to be perfectly safe and sound. I just need to get out of here first…"

Nazz smiled gratefully, tears practically coming out of her eyes. If she weren't a giant, this would have been a touching moment. Instead, it simply came off as surreal. "Th_a_nks, D_ou_bl_e_ D! _I_ th_i_nk _I _c_a_n g_e_t y_ou ou_t _o_f h_e_r_e_, t_oo_! I c_a_n h_e_lp y_ou_!"

"Really?" Edd asked. "What about all of the weird stuff I've been seeing?" "_Chem_i_cal_ re_ac_tion. _The_ na_tur_al _gas_ses _in_ the _cave_ mix _with_ the _spores_ from _the_ mold. _Don't_ ask _me_ how _I_ know _that_. I _saw_ it some_where_."

Edd couldn't help but laugh at his Nazz's attitude. This, in turn, brought a much-needed smile to her lips. She began to join in on his laugh. The laughter grew as landscape around Edd dissipated—the cave's innards appeared like a canvas under the paint. Finally, the laughter stopped. It was then that Edd realized that Nazz was gone.

"So she really was an illusion…" He sighed sadly. "I thought that it was really her."

_"You left your robe about twenty feet to your left, Double D."_

Edd jumped at the familiar voice. Nazz! But how did she…? No. It didn't matter. He already had one bodiless voice talking to him; Nazz's was welcome to join in.

Slowly, Edd stood up and began walking in the direction Nazz had told him to. He couldn't help but smile at her familiar voice.

* * *

Author's Notes: _What do you mean it's not on drugs?_

Next Time: The Gatekeeper


	16. The Gatekeeper

**The Gatekeeper**

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, HE'S MISSING?!" Eddy screamed at Kevin rather cruelly before grabbing the young swordsman by the shoulders. The group stood outside of the Elven Fox, bags packed and ready to travel. Sarah stood with them, an interestingly large knapsack balanced on her back.

Kevin, delivering the bad news, sighed tiredly. "Someone broke into my room this morning and told me they couldn't find Edd or Emil." When he was met with angry skepticism, Kevin decided to dish out some cold, hard facts. "We've been waiting for him for three hours! I really doubt he'll show up."

"Double D's the smartest guy in the group!" Eddy argued angrily. "We _need_ him! We'll just have to wait a little longer!"

Sarah growled in anger. "Listen, meathead: we don't have time to wait. If what you said is true, then we have to get moving as soon as we can."

Ed, showing a surprising amount of wisdom, nodded in agreement. "The red-headed controller is right. If we don't save the world in three days, the moon will crash into Peach Creek!"

The tension died down a little with Ed's confused non-sequitur. However, Eddy still glared at Kevin angrily, as if he blamed him for Edd's disappearance.

"… I don't want to leave my friend behind." Eddy whispered quietly.

"Double D's smart, you dork." Kevin grinned almost mockingly. "I'm positive that he'll find his way back."

At Kevin's reassurance, Eddy reluctantly nodded. "Alright; let's get going. But you owe me, shovel-chin."

The almost friendly atmosphere between the two adversaries was destroyed at soon as Eddy made that comment. It was a long walk onto the main road.

* * *

EDD, NOW FULLY clothed in his somewhat dirty robes, dusted himself off. He was bruised and bleeding, much to his disgust. He had somehow wandered into a section of the cavern without any of the fungus. Despite a pounding headache, things were much clearer.

Nazz's voice sounded much clearer in his head. However, he couldn't make any sense of it. At times, the girl would be muttering. At other times, she seemed to be crying softly. Though all of the sounds were in his Edd, the farther down the tunnel Edd moved the clearer the voice became.

It was dark without the fungus around. Feeling along the wall, Edd jumped with horror whenever he came across some wet sensation or felt an indent in the wall. Finally, he came to a dead end. Feeling the cavern wall in front of him, he felt nothing but rock.

Tired and frustrated, Double D sat down.

* * *

"OKAY… SO, according to this map, we need to keep going east." Eddy, holding the map, turned it so it now hung horizontally. "Hmm… or is that north? There's no indication of north on this map! If you don't have an indication of north, it's just a drawing!"

The group had just passed through a village of blind people called the Unseeing City of People in Trees. Despite its name and the picture of a forest on the map, it was really just a bunch of straw huts with blind people living in them. They had been fairly helpful, though, providing the group with a map and several strips of various dried meats.

"Never trust a map made by blind people." Kevin muttered as the group continued onward. "Blind people suck so hard. It's not even funny." The bizarre comment was largely ignored by his comrades.

A small wood was soon happened upon by the group. It was shabby and unimpressive, unlike the woods that surrounded Spatzburg. An old, worn path was barely visible, cutting through the middle of the woods.

Of course, the group took the path. There wasn't very well anything else they could do. However, being as small as the wood was, it didn't take long until they reached the end of the path. What they found was fairly unusual.

A large wall had been built at the end of the path. It was impossible to see it from outside the wood, but looking at it now it was fairly large. The path led up to a large, stone door sealed tightly shut. Above the door sat a statue of a gargoyle, sitting in an almost brooding manner.

"Great. Now what?" Kevin muttered. In answer to the rhetorical question, Eddy patted Ed on the back. Ed then approached the door and, after a moment of concentration, punched the solid stone as hard as he could.

All he got for his troubles were some bleeding knuckles.

_"No. You won't be able to get in like that."_

In shock, the group looked up at the voice's source— it was, rather predictably, the stone gargoyle. The gargoyle's carved eyes glowed with a flickering intelligence, blinking in and out whenever it talked in its distinctively Irish accent.

_"Stronger men have tried to break down this door, you know. But nope—this entire wall is a prime example of Mage War design. This wall's IMPENETRABLE. You'll need my help if you want to get pas—"_

"Hit it harder, Ed." Eddy ordered. His tall friend nodded confidently before kicking the wall with incredible strength. With a resounding thud, the powerful attack managed to barely crack the wall.

_"Huh. Okay, maybe I was wrong about the impenetrable part."_ The gargoyle made a noise almost like a person clicking their tongue in thought. _"Y'know, maybe I should just let you guys through."_

"Why? We can just break the wall." Eddy pointed out. He didn't seem to notice Ed's near-broken leg. The gargoyle, with a sigh, addressed Kevin and Sarah.

_"You two are the clever ones, I'm guessing?"_ "No." Sarah answered smartly. "The clever one's missing. We're close enough, though."

_"Good. If you could stop your friends from cracking me any more, I'll let you through."_ The gargoyle responded. _"I've already died once. I'd rather not die again."_

While this conversation was going on, Eddy had shoved his knife into the crack that Ed had made. Providing a bit of torque, he was able to widen the crack just a bit.

Unfortunately, a big enough crack in an old enough wall can bring it toppling down.

With a quiet rumble, the wall and door began to shake. _"Bugger. You've really done it—you know, not many people have destroyed these things!"_ The gargoyle yelled. Already, cracks were beginning to appear on his stone form. _"I hope you rot in whichever Hell you associate yourself w—"_

The sentence was interrupted by the gargoyle's head falling off. The rest of the wall began to crumble along with its guardian, falling to the ground in piles of stone and marble. The once proud wall was now nothing but a mound of rubble.

"… Okay, let me see if I've got this right." Kevin said with anger in his voice that was hard to identify. "We're supposed to believe that one guy with a knife brought an entire wall crumbling down."

"To be fair, it's a nice knife." Eddy bragged before sheathing the tool of destruction.

With a sigh, Kevin began the ascent over the mound of rubble, followed in suit by Sarah, then Ed, and finally Eddy, who had kicked the gargoyle's head. Nobody had noticed the strange, blue glow exiting the pieces of the gargoyle that littered the ground.

* * *

SPATZBURG, DESPITE the reconstruction, was always happy to have visitors. Especially when they paid in gold at the toll gate. These three strangers had stabled their black horses outside the Elven Fox, which a close friend had recommended to them.

"We actually came here on business, you see," one of the men said to the innkeeper. They all looked alike in their black hoods and leather armor. "We get paid to locate people. It's our only real purpose. Our quarry was in these parts recently."

The innkeeper was used to all manner of odd folks. He didn't bat an eye at the men's strange talk. "Who are you looking for, if you don't mind me asking?"

"A mage, a thief, a fighter, and a swordsman." One of the faceless figures answered. "If you could actually help us find them, we would greatly appreciate it."

The innkeeper quietly remembered the group that had been staying at his inn until just that afternoon. "I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head, "but I can't give out information on my customers. You understand."

"Of course; it's no real problem." One of the three said. However, before he even finished the sentence, his travelling partner unsheathed a short-sword and sliced the innkeeper's head off in one clean move. Fortunately, nobody was in the inn to witness the brutality.

"Bosco!" One of the three yelled as the sword-wielding member stood up and wiped off his blade. "We're supposed to get information from these people, not kill them!"

"Is no problem." Bosco, the manic killer of the group (The 'Nick Jonas', if you will) replied. "He would not have told us what we need to know. So, I am killing. Is not complicated."

"Damn it, Bosco, I thought you had stopped doing this sort of thing in Frontport!" One of the three chastised. Bosco shrugged calmly.

"I no learn lesson. Such a rascal, no?" He laughed jokingly before sheathing his short-sword. "Now, we need to be leaving. This place too incriminating." Then, for no apparent reason, Bosco picked up a chair and tossed it against the wall, splintering it. "Also, messy. We leave, yes?"

One of the three sighed while the other stood up. "Alright; good thinking, Bosco. But look through his pockets." "Da." "See if he has anything. Like one of those bars of candy they make in Leifland. I frigging _love_ those."

* * *

GUIDE TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU:

THE GATES

The Gates were constructed during the Mage War. In order to protect important camps or settlements, stone walls were rapidly assembled via magic. They were magically reinforced, given magical defenses, and magically painted. They were really just being lazy with that last one.

However, in order to ensure optimum defense, gatekeepers were needed. A stonecutter-mage named David the Multitalented carved stone statues of gargoyles to stand over the doors and control whom entered.

In order to give the gargoyles life, dying soldiers' souls were absorbed and placed into the lifeless stone. Eventually, the series of defense was discontinued when one of the gargoyles trapped all of its inhabitants. Apparently it had a problem with being an immortal piece of stone.

To date, many of the walls and their Gatekeepers still stand. However, since the end of the war, they have mostly been used as a form of toll gate or a way to protect a town. Long-gone are their days of formidable fortitude. Only three have ever been destroyed, and the destroyer was a dragon. For a human to destroy one of the walls in unthinkable.

* * *

Author's Notes: _Well, we proved them wrong._

Next Time: Carl


	17. Carl

**Carl**

About five miles from what had once been a proud, ancient wall was a cottage. Surrounding the cottage was a forest as thick and dark as your accent. Most-likely, the forest was the older of the two, but one can never be certain.

At present, our heroes were in a bit of a bind. To be more specific, they had been attacked while sleeping in the forest. A group of knee-high, shriveled creatures in blood-red hats surrounded them; prodding them with sticks and slightly pointier sticks. Perhaps the worst of it all was when the tiny fiends started to attack with _longer_ sticks.

"Should we… do something?" Eddy asked before one of the little bastards shoved a stick in his mouth. It tasted like dirt and nature.

Kevin glared at the creatures and saw one of them carrying something remarkably similar to an object not at all like a spear. Kevin tried to reach for his sword but a sharp poke to his hand stopped him. Without his armor, he wasn't going to be able to do much.

It was Ed that seemed to be having the easiest time about it. Despite being poked in the arm, chin, and eye with several sticks at once, he seemed more annoyed than anything. The creatures, though, moved too fast for their captives to do anything.

Then, with a _snap_, one of the creatures fell to the ground. An arrow stuck out of its body—an unimpressive arrow, but an arrow nonetheless. The rest of the beasties, upon seeing this, gave little gasps of horror and ran away helter-skelter.

"Hello! Are you okay?" A figure was visible just over the hill. Whoever it was held a bow in their hand and was obviously to thank for the rescue. The group stood up as their savior approached them, bow now slung over his shoulder.

It was a man, his hair graying despite appearing to only be thirty. He wore a grey piece of cloth that, if you were desperate, could be called a shirt. The sleeves had been torn off ruthlessly, in an attempt to provide fresh air to the man's fairly muscular body.

"I take it you're going to Vasylvania?" The man asked with a kind smile on his face. "That's the only reason anybody ever passes through my forest. That, or the time the biologist wanted to study the Red-caps. He didn't stay too long, I'll tell you."

After introductions were exchanged, the man's name was revealed to be Carl Alcard. He owned a small cottage a few minutes away from where they were at the time. Politely, the woodsman offered the travelers a place to stay for the night.

"No thanks," Kevin declined rather hastily. "We should probably get going. We need to get to V… Vase… that place you mentioned."

Carl sighed, a friendly smile crawling onto his face. With a nod, he pointed in the direction they needed to get going. He said that if they made good time they would likely get to the town by midday. However, he asked them one last time if they would consider staying at his cabin. Again, the group declined and, after saying a brief good-bye, went in the direction Carl had indicated.

In minutes, they were gone—swallowed by the shadows of the trees. Carl watched them, regret building up inside of him—ever so slowly, but still a noticeable feeling.

* * *

HIS NAME WAS CECIL. Ordinarily, he wouldn't be seen out in public—especially not in the daylight. The crowded streets of Vasylvania were difficult enough to navigate on his own, let alone accompanied by a small escort of guards while travelling on horseback. Most of the citizens were kind enough to make way—those that weren't found themselves beneath Cecil's horse's hooves.

Finally, Cecil and his guards arrived at the city gate of Vasylvania. The guards were standing patiently, waiting for him, just as they had been ordered. Also per their instructions, they were keeping the huge, steel doors shut despite the people on the other side who quite clearly wanted inside.

"Do you have any idea who they are?" Cecil asked the chief gatekeeper, noticeable among his subordinates due to a missing eye. The chief responded with a calm shrug, though a scout gave a fairly better answer.

"It looks like one of them is a Cleric of Yybell, milord," he mentioned, a touch of nervousness in his voice. "Forgive me, but… I thought they weren't supposed to come here."

Cecil sighed, an anxious tone in his voice. "They aren't. But my sister wants them to come inside, and she did win Shield-Sword-Spell, fair and square."

"…Excuse me, milord; did your sister and you make an important political decision based on a children's game?" "Do you want me to kill you again?" "No, milord; I'll be good."

With Lord Cecil's permission, the Chief Gatekeeper gave the signal to open the gate. With an old creak that inspired images of some geezer's joints, the gate doors pulled open and slid into the walls of the city.

"About time!" Kevin declared, his party sitting down from the long wait. The gates suddenly opening was especially surprising for Eddy, who had been leaning against the gate doors. The group took a minute to become adjusted to the sight of the grand city of Vasylvania—at first, they had no reaction. But then, they noticed the black-haired youth on horseback staring them down.

Lord Cecil Alucard, as he introduced himself, was one of the children of the Count of the city. In this already darkening evening sky, he looked fairly impressive. He dressed in all-black riding clothes. A small cape hung on his shoulder, clinging to his leather tunic by a brooch that bore the Alucard family crest. A red streak rent through his hair diagonally, highlighting his red irises. Eddy was the first to say anything:

"… Are you Goth?"

Cecil simply looked at Eddy in confusion. His answer, in a voice that still cracked with the slight touch of puberty, was the following: "No. Hardly. I don't even know what that is. I'm a vampire."

Lord Cecil's confessing of that little fact pretty much confirmed Eddy's theory.

"Regardless, my sister noticed you coming towards our little town," Cecil explained, clearly not all too excited himself. "For some reason beyond my fathoming she has invited you four to be guests in our castle. Apparently I'm just her little messenger boy…"

The suddenness of the request was, to say the least, unexpected. Then again, Eddy assumed that news of their quest, or at least news of their triumph in Spatzburg (if you could call it that) had preceded them. "So, when do we get going?" He asked with an eager grin that was akin to that of a child being tricked into going to the dentist's office.

Cecil's answer was an anxious groan, though decidedly more so than before. Turning his horse around, a steed as black as his clothes and with matching eyes, he began to march forward through the crowd. While still confused over this whole incident, the group followed after the lord, straying away from the bodies he trampled.

Making their way past dozens of wooden huts, taverns, brothels, and gambler's dens, Cecil and his patrol eventually led the travelers to a large wall in the middle of the city, encircling something precious within.

"The castle city is inside—this is just where the peasants live," Cecil explained when he noticed the group's confusion. Slowly, with a creak just as old as the outer gate's, a pair of giant doors before them opened.

Inner Vasylvania, nestled inside of the wall like a yolk in its shell, was a sight completely different from the outer city. The buildings were made of stone and the residents that paraded around in their regal attire smelled less like manure than anyone in Spatzburg. Beyond the shops and restaurants, towering like some kind of tower, was the Vasylvania Castle—a marvel of Gothic architecture, with its spires reaching up from the roof and with balconies seeming to stretch out from every window.

With a dull thud, Kevin could hear the doors slamming shut behind them. They were already halfway to the castle, but it was still audible. As a matter of fact, so was the sickening squish and scream that accompanied it. But perhaps it would be best to ignore that.

The grand wooden doors of Vasylvania Castle were beautifully inscribed with carved images of heroes from myth and reality alike. It was almost a shame to see them open and hide themselves in the entrance hall's shadows. As a grey man in an old, tattered suit neared them, Cecil dismounted his horse.

"My lord," the man bowed, his voice creaking like the grave itself. "Your sister is waiting for the guests to be presented to her in the banquet hall. Ugh…"

Without a word, Cecil entered the castle. It was the kind of abrupt thing that Kevin didn't know how to deal with—so, he simply motioned for his part to follow the mysterious lord. The grey man had vanished when everyone's back was turned, but that's probably unimportant.

"I don't like this." Sarah whispered to Kevin as they marched down the dark corridor, making a left at the corner next to the giant mirror. "This whole town smells like old people and graveyards."

"You know what graveyards smell like?" It was the only possible response Kevin could fish for. Sarah glared at him angrily, keeping her voice low so Lord Cecil couldn't hear them.

"What I'm saying is, this whole place smells like it should be dead."

The doors to the banquet hall swung open with a swift click, revealing a fairly well-lit room in this den of darkness. A long, beautifully-furnished table sat in the middle of this room with half-a-dozen people sitting around it, not including the person sitting at the front. Before a word could be said, Ed yelped with joy and jumped onto the table, attacking the food like a starved dingo.

"Belly needs food!" He exclaimed, drawings gasps of shock, cries of disgust, and one or two giggles from the diners. It was when he was biting into the leg of a roasted lamb soaking in its own blood that he stopped, though not of his own will. Slowly, the grand nitwit felt his head crane up to face the diner at the head of the table.

The medium-length black hair fell to the bare shoulders that emerged from a red-and-black dress that showed more than it concealed. Her lips were bright red in contrast to her pale skin. The only other thing that stood out was a black necklace that hung around her neck, a crimson-red stone falling over her skin.

"My, it's so nice to see that the Heroes of Destiny have come to Vasylvania." She said, a smile showing teeth as white as polished marble. "My name is Circe, the daughter or Count Iorghu the Merciful."

There was a chance to say something intelligent. However, Ed was the first to speak, so that option was tossed out the window: "Will you be my mommy?" He asked, his eyes dilated in amazement. Circe simply chuckled that the sudden question, her brother clearly not as entertained.

"What's the matter, Cecil? I thought you'd love to get out and actually meet people." Circe asked, mocking her brother in a tired manner. "You can go back to the dungeon now, though." "It's my room! It's not a dungeon, you bitch!"

An old woman sitting to the left of Circe let out an exasperated moan. If Edd were here, he could have deduced that the matriarch was Circe and Cecil's mother. As it was, however, Edd's party had to figure this out without his help.

"Children, please don't fight in front of our guests." She gasped, tired from the ages. She wore a black gown, thankfully more concealing than her daughter's. This Countess, as it could be guessed she was called, looked like she was half-buried in the grave; her skin barely clung to her skeleton with almost nothing in-between. Somehow, through some miracle, her hair kept a tint of red color.

At his mother's request, Cecil quietly turned and left the meal already in-progress. Ed's interruption hadn't deterred one of the diners, a large man with a bald head and an empty eye-socket. The rest simply returned to picking at their plates, some staring at the strangely-dressed visitors that Circe had requested. Ed continued to ravage the lamb while Kevin, Sarah, and Eddy took their seats.

It was only then that Eddy saw something across from him that made him freeze in terror.

Her clothes had changed, but her hairstyle remained the same as it always had. She wore some black, silk dress that almost made her look attractive—almost. Eddy knew her better, of course. But the blue hair hanging over her face, exposing a single eye—it was enough to scare Eddy into a coma.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

A second interruption so sudden after the first scared one diner out of his seat. He beat his wife, however, so he deserved it. Kevin glared at Eddy, only to see what he saw and freeze up in shock. Ed stopped eating. Sarah's mouth hung open in shock and terror at the mere sight of the common enemy.

"Jeez. I wasn't going to say anything until later, but if you want to make a big deal out of it," Marie Kanker groaned, a scowl on her face showing she wasn't exactly happy to be recognized.

Circe looked from Marie to Eddy, a look of surprise on her face. "Marie… how do you know these people?" "Aw, they're just friends with my boyfriend. I told you about him, remember?"

Eddy, flabbergasted, looked from Marie to Circe to Marie to the man without an eye. He couldn't say any words—just vague noises that, in a past life, might have been words. Finally, his tongue worked up the nerve to form a sentence: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"KANKER!" Ed screamed, grabbing the nearest thing he could (Unfortunately, it was Kevin) and tossing it at the symbol of his terror. Thankfully (Depending on who you ask) he overthrew, and Kevin merely hit an extremely painful stone wall. "SARAH! DEFEAT THIS FOUL TEMPTRESS!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" "Would you stop asking that?!" Marie yelled, standing up in a huff. By now, the diners around the table were horrified, annoyed, or had simply up and left. The Countess seemed close to fainting, while Circe watched on, both bemused and amused.

"Perhaps it's best if we call this meal to an end," Circe said, standing up to put emphasis on her suggestion. The other diners unanimously agreed and left while the Heroes of Destiny stayed behind, confronting one of their oldest enemies.

* * *

Next Time: An Uninteresting Chapter


End file.
